This one deserved a thread of its own
 

Thank Donny,

Posted in the Joke's thread but I thought it was too good not to stand on its own merits.


A United States Marine was attending some college courses between assignments. He had completed missions in Iraq and Afghanistan.
One of the courses had a professor who was a vowed atheist and a member of the ACLU.

One day the professor shocked the class when he came in. He looked to the ceiling and flatly stated, "God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you exactly 15 minutes." The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop.
Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, "Here I am God. I'm still waiting." It got down to the last couple of minutes when the Marine got out of his chair, went up to the professor, and cold-cocked him; knocking him off the platform. The professor was out cold.
The Marine went back to his seat and sat there, silently. The other students were shocked and stunned and sat there looking on in silence. The professor eventually came to, noticeably shaken, looked at the Marine and asked, "What the hell is the matter with you? Why did you do that?" The Marine calmly replied, "God was too busy today protecting America's soldiers who are protecting your right to say stupid sh** and act like an A$$H**E.

So, He sent me."

That was great, we need more of that stuff!!!!

not funny at all

listen to "With God on Our Side" by Bob Dylan or at least read the lyrics

then read this supposed joke

Very good...Carry on sir!

Bob can't even settle on a religion....yes, he DOES need a weatherman to "tell which way the wind blows"...

Yeah, Bob Dylan is our moral compass.

While you're at it, listen to "bridge under troubled water" and "man in the mirror"! :rolleyes:

OK fine, forget about bob dylan

but this joke implies that even if there is a God, his job is to protect American troops

ummmmmm so lets see

God's american? God doesnt protect anyone else but Americans? God hates Iraqis?

that makes a whole lot of sense

what makes even more sense is that my cousin was just killed in Iraq on december 6, 2006 and he was american

so that evem makes more sense

great joke!

Yes, he was a hero.
and yes, he was not drafted.

Maybe Charlie Rangell will get his wish and all of our young folks will get the opportunity to serve, eh?

Still got my card, laminated...carry it with pride.

It was a joke, son...and it was a joke about people with extreme beliefs attempting to sway the views of others. In this case, the individual doing the swaying was an athiest. No matter what the extreme, it needs to be reined in and called what it is; a form of fanatacism. THe Marine represents common sense as most people see it. Difference is that most people are too civilized to cold cock the extreme radicals.

Now that really is a shame.

But Jeff

Then there would be no difference between the two......

Atheism is fanaticism?

This is the stupidest post.
Out.

Take the policy"Lets kill everyone that isnt us"and think about how it applies to just about every religion,government or country on this planet.
Perhaps we really are 'on the brink of destruction?'

K...

Yes, it can be. Subject has been beaten to death here on this board. Anyone who spends a great deal of energy trying to prove the unprovable is a fanatic. The stupidest posts (and I dislike the word "stupid") are the irrational ones arguing the God/no God POV and doing it with extreme passion.

Athiest: anti theist....against god(s)

Faith, or lack thereof is a private and internal thing and should be treated as such.

+1

I thought it was funny as a Marine/professor joke.
Lots of ways to complicate something.
Jim

Ive read this story before but it was about a canadian soldier.

i guess its one of those ' fill blank with X nations soldier' type of stories.

Good lord folks, it was meant as a joke.

Remember funny? Ha ha....? Joke.

Sorry if I offended you Think, as said before I'm sorry for your loss, and always will be.

Don't worry, most of us thought it was funnier than hell. It's the hand-wringing ninnies that got their panties all in a twist; that's what they do best. As an aside, I find that funnier than hell, too.

Lighten up, Francis.

It seems those with the sanctimonious tendencies of the professor don't like the joke.

Perhaps they've been smacked by an unimpressed Marine at some point. Or, God willing, will be.

"God, if you think this joke is not funny, have me be hit by a red car with beige interior, driven by a female swedish supermodel within the next 15 minutes." During which time I will be in my office, on the 18th floor.

JP

Re: This one deserved a thread of its own
 

Won't somebody please think of the children?!?

Rangel? here's a Rangel joke:http://images20.fotki.com/v380/photo...wLetter-vi.jpg

Aha, humour!

Translation to the non-believers.

One guy that does not believe in the flying spaghetti monster asks if the flying spaghetti monster can beat him down to the ground.
Another guy who believe in the flying spaghetti monster (btw this guy has been around the world and has mingled with locals that believe in the flying kebab monster) gets upset and beats the non flying spaghetti monster believer guy to the ground since the flying spaghetti monster is busy.

Yep, this is fun!

It was not a joke, it was a thinly disguised political commentary wraped in religion.

Like those little hot dogs wraped in bacon and a little strip of baked on bun. Tastes good at first, but eat a few to many and feel sick.

Some of you take things a wee bit too seriously. I would guess there are very few "jokes" that in some way do not offend someone or some group. That is the nature of humor.

"Humor is the juxtaposition of the incongruous"

Political Correctness is getting to be a bore.

Get a life folks...

If the joke had begun with "A {insulting racial epithet}, a {insulting religious epithet} and a {insulting sexual epithet}" walked into a bar...." I could see you guys getting bent.

It didn't. It's a fill in the blank with your target du jour kind of joke.

The only reason you dishwater knee-jerk liberals get your butholes puckerd up is cause you saw the words "Iraq & Afghanistan".

Get a life.

Point of the whole thing is that whether your pro/con Iraq, Bush, paper or plastic, decaf or regular, you can thank your GD lucky stars that the Military was and is there to protect and defend your right to make that effing choice in the first place, not some pathetic POS professor.

You can read this? Dont' thank a teacher, go thank your local serviceman, active reserve or vet. They deserve it more.

No college professor or teacher I ever had put their lives on the line.

Have a nice day.



SmileWavy SmileWavy SmileWavy

I thought the joke was funny, but this follow-on sounds pretty bitter and angry to me. I didn't think people served for the thanks, but rather because they were called to do so.

I know plenty of professors and teachers that have served. And don't elevate the military above other kinds of service. They are all important. Without one you can't have the other.

Valid points Todd, and I agree people don't serve for thanks per se.

In fact, I am wrong - I went back and looked up a few teachers I had in HS and found 2 were vets.

I'm going to go deep dive into Paradise Lost and revisit my dissembling of that work now that I've mastered the complexities of this rather pedestrian joke.

sometimes a cigar is just a cigar... ;)

Since Paradise Lost was brought up, we could always arge if Milton meant to make Lucifer a tragic hero, or it just came out that way.

Double entendre perhaps? Hmm.....

Some of the guys I had as teachers at St. Bonaventure back in the 60s were in WWII. Of these, for many the war was the deciding factor in entering a religious order. They had seen enough of death and destruction.

Doesnt matter.

Just remember that the mind is it's own place and in itself can make a heaven of hell; a hell of heaven.

LOL! I liked the Charlie Rangel joke better!

Re: This one deserved a thread of its own
 

There. So much funnier now.

Then read Milton, its an easy read.

I don't know why atheists try to persuade god-fearers and dems try to persuade republicans and so on. These posts are like car wrecks--unfortunately I find myself staring, looking for the pool of blood on the pavement.

For topics which are so personal and emotional it's a waste of bytes/breath. Those who voice their opinions on religion and politics on this board seem to be pretty extreme; as such, these folks CANNOT be wrong (in their heads)--for them, there is no compromise; no middle ground to discuss. No way to move them off their beliefs.

Unless they simply post these ideas to get attention, in which case the effort is doubly sad. Jack

I think most people realize they can't persuade someone with the opposing viewpoint to "switch sides." That's the problem -- many (most?) people think of debates and public discussion as a sport, where you line up with a side and stick with it until the end, no matter what.

As for the joke, I agree with Kach. If it hadn't been political commentary, it wouldn't have been necessary (or relevant) to include the bit about the ACLU.

As humor though, I still think it worked. I mean, placing such a realistic stereotype of a professor: liberal, preachy, time- and money-wasting, next to a realistic Marine: a self-righteous bullying *********. And then, to really make me laugh, the Marine was taking classes! :D Talk about juxtaposing reality with fantasy!

The last part of the joke is missing.

Jesus comes in looking like a hippie , picks the professor up, tells him not to test God, and tells the Marine, "You don't speak for me".


Still funny?