It's Great when Stupidity Pays Off

Jeff Higgins · 02-08-2007, 08:45 AM

I just have to share this; every now and then an assclown gets their just deserts. I was leaving work, navigating the windy two lane access road behind where I work. I was in the right lane. Well ahead was an articulated commuter bus in the left lane, with a little red Ford Probe absolutely hauling ass catching up to me from behind, in my lane. Bus driver flips on the right signal to pull over to the curb lane to pick up his next load, with an empty lane and plenty of room to his right. Just then the Probe, going at least twice as fast as we were (with its driver holding the cell phone up trying to dial it), makes the autocross slolom move around me and back into my lane. Wedges itself right under the side of the bus, with the only thing inhibiting its further progress under the bus being the center set of wheels on said bus. Right in front of the whole bus stop full of witnesses. I stopped to see if the bus driver wanted me to stick around, but a few of the guys waiting said they had him covered. I love it; assclown wasn't hurt, but it sure gave a whole new meaning to "Probe".

widebody911 · widebody911's Garage

Pix?

Porsche-O-Phile · Porsche-O-Phile's Garage

Nobody on the bus was hurt either? If so, good ending. He'll be getting "probed" by some ambulance chaser lawyers before too long. Dumbass.

CarreraDan · 02-08-2007, 09:00 AM

Jeff,
One night we made a late trip to Lowe's right before they closed and were loading the car when I saw the best dumb teenager move ever. Kid was in a fairly nice new Accord with fancy rims, aero kit, loud exhaust, etc) and went by the front of Lowe's at around 50-60 mph. He didn't see the 10 inch curb at the end of the parking lot and plowed right into/over it. Sparks and Honda parts went flying as the car spun into the ajoining lot. We went to see if they were hurt and the girl (date) in the car was beating the driver for driving like an ass. He got out, put his hands up and started crying about his car. It was a shame I didn't have a camera to capture the moment.

Dan in Pasadena · Dan in Pasadena's Garage

Excellent!

Had similar yesterday morning. I was driving my huge black Dodge Ram Quadcab 4x4 with my shell on it. Needless to say nobody likes being behind me, they always go around. I'm cool with that as long as they don't cut me off, etc. I'm on a newly redone section of Orange Grove in Pasadena where it winds down to the 110 Fwy and the driver behind me (obviously) didn't know they recently re-did the road. It is now one lane each direction with a big curbed median and new landscaping complete with granite boulders in it.

As we cross through the intersection and the road start winding, Mr. Assclown climbs up my butt and starts to pass me, barely missig my left rear corner only to find himself rapidly bearing down on a median with big cobbles in it. He had nowhere to go and I didn't let off. He stood on the brakes, smoking his tires and fishtailing the car. I think he needed new underwear after that!

Of course he caught up to me on the southbound 110 Fwy moments later and passed me at probably 90 -100 mph even though I was doing 70. He'll get his eventually. Oh and of course...he was on his cell phone.

Dan in Pasadena · Dan in Pasadena's Garage

Quote:

Originally posted by CarreraDan
Jeff,
One night we made a late trip to Lowe's right before they closed and were loading the car when I saw the best dumb teenager move ever. Kid was in a fairly nice new Accord with fancy rims, aero kit, loud exhaust, etc) and went by the front of Lowe's at around 50-60 mph. He didn't see the 10 inch curb at the end of the parking lot and plowed right into/over it. Sparks and Honda parts went flying as the car spun into the ajoining lot. We went to see if they were hurt and the girl (date) in the car was beating the driver for driving like an ass. He got out, put his hands up and started crying about his car. It was a shame I didn't have a camera to capture the moment.

I don't want to see anyone get hurt but it sounds like it couldn't have happened to a more desevring person! You don't suppose he actually LEARNED something that will stay with him, do you?

Jeff Higgins · 02-08-2007, 09:19 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by widebody911
Pix?

No, no cameras allowed on site; no phone cameras or anything. The company is pretty anal about that, with all the trade secrets, government contracts, and that kind of thing.

No one appeared hurt on the bus; it barely changed course on impact. It did lift the center right wheel set a couple inches off the ground, so the full weight that should have been on them was on the Probe's hood.

In retrospect, the only things missing would have been a polite "golf clap" from the crowd, and maybe some score cards. "9.5", "9.3", "8.9", and the like. Lots of folks were already laughing pretty hard at the poor schmuck in the Probe, once they saw everyone was o.k.

CJFusco · CJFusco's Garage

I love stories like this.

tabs · 02-08-2007, 10:18 AM

The 110 Freeway...Pasadena Freeway wasn't built for 90 MPH. There is one decreasing radius turn on that Freeway that always scared me. There was an XKE that wound up hitting the median on that turn back in the 60s, where the gal driving lost both legs and the male passenger missed losing his toes by an inch or so.

Dan in Pasadena · Dan in Pasadena's Garage

Quote:

Originally posted by tabs
The 110 Freeway...Pasadena Freeway wasn't built for 90 MPH. There is one decreasing radius turn on that Freeway that always scared me. There was an XKE that wound up hitting the median on that turn back in the 60s, where the gal driving lost both legs and the male passenger missed losing his toes by an inch or so.

You're absolutely right. There is no place to go if you do lose it - even if only for a moment. No shoulders, so you are bounced off the center barrier back in to traffic or off the sides...which with the less than stellar "catch" fences they have (just chain link in many places) you're either into someone's old house or into the Arroyo....neither a good prospect.

Yet I have a friend that constantly races through the 110. He had an old Vette, later an Audi tt, then a Boxster, sold that for an SC and finally sold that for his current "race" car, a Mini Cooper S. He claims the Cooper is faster than the Boxster...I kinda doubt that though I am sure it FEELS quite fast due to its size...but the place to determine that certainly isn't the freeway and of all the freeways, not the 110. I expect he's gonna eat it there sooner or later. I just hope he doesn't take anyone along with him when he does. I was SURE he was going to do it with the switch from the Boxster to the SC...ass end first into the Arroyo. Whew, he dodged a bullet there.

stevepaa · 02-08-2007, 12:50 PM

I remember the 110 from the 60's. 50 mph was just about right on that, too many idiots trying to go too fast.

Rondinone · 02-08-2007, 03:57 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by CarreraDan
Jeff,
One night we made a late trip to Lowe's right before they closed and were loading the car when I saw the best dumb teenager move ever. Kid was in a fairly nice new Accord with fancy rims, aero kit, loud exhaust, etc) and went by the front of Lowe's at around 50-60 mph. He didn't see the 10 inch curb at the end of the parking lot and plowed right into/over it. Sparks and Honda parts went flying as the car spun into the ajoining lot. We went to see if they were hurt and the girl (date) in the car was beating the driver for driving like an ass. He got out, put his hands up and started crying about his car. It was a shame I didn't have a camera to capture the moment.

This is exactly why I bought a camera phone.

CarreraDan · 02-08-2007, 04:39 PM

Guys,
Even if I had a camera phone at the time (remember star tac phones?) it happened so fast. Another time I wish I had a video phone was a few summers ago. It was almost midnight and I was taking my girlfriend home and some assclown passed us in a construction zone in an old Celica. The weird thing was he stayed on the other side of the orange barrels. I started to tell my g/f "the ramp, the ramp, watch the ramp" earlier that day they had made a 10 ft high gravel ramp right in front of the hospital--how ironic. He hit the gravel ramp and all we could see was headlights straight up in the air. The car went vertical in the air and rolled over landing on it's roof about 100ft down the road. Incredibly, the kid didn't have a seatbelt on and walked away muttering what happened. I said you flipped your car d*mbass. The police showed up very quickly and escorted him into the ER across the parking lot--his car looked like a pancake. Fast forward to a few months ago and this genius was in the hospital with his two small children--yes he has lived long enough to reproduce.

Jeff Higgins · 02-08-2007, 05:23 PM

Yup, and somedy he'll be telling his cross-eyed grandchildren about his great exploits in the Celica.

Flatbutt1 · 02-08-2007, 05:29 PM

I was leaving the Devils game Tuesday night and of course there is horrendous traffic leaving the arena. By and large people bite their tongues and deal with it. For the most part. Well I'm in a long snaking line making for an exit to the right, doing about 0.5 mph. Just as I get to the gate azzhat in a megaphoned Civic zips up on the left having passed at least , oh I dunno, 150 yds of traffic. Cuts to the right but can't get into line. So he keeps on going on the left hand side INTO the exit(which is 2 way 'cause its also an entrance). Well he zips out on the left of the traffic directly in the line of sight of the traffic control LEO. Ha! Busted immediately.