Today should be a happy day.
 

Hi,

I hate to dump this here, but, I have not been in a very good mood. You see, today is my birthday, for most, today is a day of happiness. I have always liked to keep a low profile on "my" day. I am adopted and though I am very grateful for my adoptive parents, I have never really liked to celebrate my birthday. I don't have cakes and dislike being the center of attention.

Anyway, today I am 34 and I feel like I have gone nowhere. I quit my job at the end of the year, in the hopes of branching out on my own. I was working for a IT consulting business, but was very underpaid and at the end, I was mainly doing mundane laptop repair and was unhappy. My true skills were wasting away.

After my marriage dissolved a few years ago, I finally was able to get back into the dating scene. Unfortunately, my girlfriend of 6 months decided two weeks ago, that things really were not going to work out. She has a son and is going though a divorce herself. She is a great person, but I think it is the sudden rejection that is really stinging at the moment.

There is too much to bother you all with, but I just wish I were truly happy again.

Sorry if I brought the room down.

Dave

Yeah, I have been pretty cooped up and to make things worse, my T.V. broke last summer during my 911 engine fun. I have not really watched much T.V. in over 6 months!

It helps. Thanks Wayne.

U celebrate the Birth of a child because he is a joy to have in the world. If your real parents didn't feel that joy why should U, its kinda like having a cloud over your head. Now U maybe a joy to your adoptive parents but its not quiet the same. Ya know kid all U can do is play the hand you've been dealt.

And Best Wishes on your B DAY.

Tabs: Thank you, I am touched.

Wayne: I feel the same way. There were a number of years, where my mom would make a deal of things. The past number years have been nice. My parents and I usually go for week long ski trip and it usually falls on my b-day. They do not make a big deal of it, although we do go to dinner. Last year I decided to go to Mammoth by myself, drove up on my b-day and spent 5 days skiing by myself.

Dave

Hey Dave,
I dislike big to-dos about my birthday. I will be 40 in a couple of months but you know what? I don't even care. I have all I need in my family. I went through a divorce ten years ago. I never would have thought that I would be where I am today. Things can change, brother. Sometimes you have to go out and change them but it's possible.

While I wasn't adopted, I can understand your folks wanting to be a part of "your" day. They love you and want to show you.
Hang in there. Look at what you have and not what ou don't have. Not necessarily material possesions, either.;)


EDIT: I forgot, Happy Birthday, Dave.

Dave,
Happy Birthday! Things will get better!!

+1 Happy Birthday! SmileWavy

Dave,

Sorry to hear about your situation. I can really sympathize with you on that.

To be remembered on ones b-day is a heart warming thing. For me a phone call is enough. I am not that keen on big celebrations either. On my 40th b-day I got a coffee mug with the Porsche logo. Perfectly content.

I can see how your whole situation is mounting up to a psychological burden. Sometime between 30 and 45 many of us go threw a period of reflection, even 'crisis'. What have I to show for so far in my life? Waste of time? What is my place and calling?

I think this period will come upon most people, whether they feel lucky /successful or not. More or less half time in life and one stops to ponder on what to do - where to go - who to be with etc.

If that period coincides with negative experiences the total experience will be twice as bad.

Not uncommon that it will rise to the surface on b-days, Christmas etc.

I have no good advice to give. Every person´s situation is unique as well as the person himself. Only, don´t be too pessimistic. Give it time. Don´t rush into changes and remember - pain has a tendency to automatically subside as time goes by and problems have a tendency to resolve themselves in a random fashion.

And a very Big Happy Birthday, Dave!!

Dave, try not to worry about it too much.... As long as you have your 911, your youth, and your health, anything is possible.

just make some goals and stick to them.

Dave,

Happy Birthday. I really don't know what to say except the next few beers are on me. Let's get a few guys together and go out for your birthday whenever you are free. Citywalk has some nice places, think about it. Nothing like a Porsche to make you feel happy again, oil leaks and all.

Chris

Happy birthday Dave! Man, we all have days/times like this, but it'll get better. I suggest taking the top off your Targa and going for a drive to clear your mind...it can't hurt!

Happy b-day Dave!

If it will help, there's a job here in Gainesville, Fl. Traveling user training, day or two here and there, you could be at $40k by the end of the year.... friend of mine is the sysadmin for the company.

Happy Birthday Dave!!

Happiness comes from within, not from outside forces. The problem is in that we surrender control of our happiness to others or circumstance....don't.

Sounds simple I know but it's true. Start by making yourself smile, you'll feel like a dolt at first but after a while you'll realize that you actually feel much better. Actually force it upon yourself for a couple hours. The purpose of this isn't fakery, but to prove to you the power you have over your emotions.

After that, intellectually look at your situation as opposed to emotionally feeling it. You are(as are the rest of us) very fortunate people and live charmed lives on a global scale. Realize that in your mind and the good emotions will follow.

You are young, educated, and (since at least two woman allowed you to touch them:D) I assume not unattractive.....know this and let it bring you happiness. The world is still your oyster my friend, your mind already knows this so let it take the reigns for a while.

Best wishes and happy birthday.

This, too, shall pass. So plan to have a happy un-birthday.

Dave,
Happy Birthday! The best thing about life is moving on and ahead. It'll come, don't worry about it, just keep moving. Call a friend and go out to dinner or something. Buy them the meal and tell 'em it's your day. I didn't used to like them either but, now F*** it these are days to remember. Have fun....

Happy rest of the year, lets just go for it.
Remember ,..there are alot of folks who would trade with you in an instant.
cancer,losing a loved one slowly,
not making light of your feelings, just remember you have friends,and some special folks who consider you to be a fine son.
Rika

After age 29 I stopped giving a damn about birthdays, but that's just me. Happy birthday to you!

Sorry to hear your troubles. Just keep your chin up and remember that it is in the hours of our greatest adversity where the true measure of our character becomes evident. What you do, or don't do now will be remembered by you for a long time in the future. It's okay to feel down once in a while - I can't say I blame you. Just don't let it snowball on ya'.

At risk of sounding cliche, the best way to attain happiness is to do some soul-searching and introspection, and then go make it happen. All the best to you!

Happy Birthday, Dave! Guys, no need to feel sorry for this guy. He has the Hollywood Fabian look going and is able to snag hot women, as evidenced by his last girlfriend, who was smokin'. Besides that, he seems like a very intelligent, interesting person. And he owns a 911. Looking into my crystal ball, I see good things ahead for Dave :)

Dave,
Hope you can make it a great day despite these other things. Holidays bdays etc make for introspection and frequently wondering where things are going. I'm sure you have accomplished much if you were honest with yourself about it.

Keep on keepin on...:)

First off, Happy birthday Dave!

Second, I can tell you it gets better with time.
About 6 years ago, I was finalizing my divorce, hating my job in the IT industry, and felt like I was going nowhere.

I found a great woman who was also going through a divorce, and immidiately we connected, better yet, I loved her kids, and they thought I was great too. After a year or so, she became pregnant again by her ex-husband.... I found rock bottom, the end of my rope, what ever you want to call it.

I turned to alcohol and cocaine, probably the worst move ever! I quit my job as I didnt want to do anything other than lay around the house. I would sleep til 4 in the afternoon, then head to the bar. I would drink myself stupid, and try to "even out" by doing lines until 4 in the morning. I would get home and be tweeked until noon the next day, then it would all start over. I managed to do that for 2 years without killing myself, which is amazing considering how badly I was abusing my body. I eventually cut back on the coke because it was too expensive, and I gained about 20 pounds from all the alcohol. I then got a job as a bouncer in a bar so that forced me to quit drinking.

About a year and a half ago, I met my Fiance. She is the best thing that ever happened to me! And she came into my life when I wasn't even looking for anyone. I had kinda written myself off as a waste, and worthless. She is able to show me that I was wrong!

We now have a beautiful daughter who is 4 months old, and I dont think I would change my life for anything.

If it tells you anything, one of the most meaningful songs for me is "Bless the Broken Road" by Rascal Flats, and I usually hate country music.

Wow, sorry for rambling, I usually don't even tell anybody that part of my life.... but the moral is, don't get down on yourself. Look at all of it as a lesson that didn't kill you, keep a positive outlook, and everything will come around.

Treat yourself well, and again,
Happy Birthday!

-Nick

+1 NICK! Nice story! And happy birthday Dave. Just proves, when you think you've got it bad....just look around!! ;-)

Happy Birthday - now get up off the couch and start doing something to better yourself. You aren't going to get a job hanging at the house and the only women you'll meet on the computer have the last name of .jpg.

Happy birthday, Dave.

It sounds like you've got "baggage." Gosh, I was sitting on a barstool one day and this young fella, late 20's, is talking about some woman also in her late twenties who has a kid and was married. He's tempted since she's a nice woman and hot and likes him. "But.....(he looks into his beer) I just dunno...you know, she's been married before and the divorce was rough on her and.....well......it looks like she's got some baggage." The bartender, a tiny, hot, middle-aged biker spark-plug matriarch shot me a look that was one of the most amusing of my entire life. She and I are both in our late forties. Baggage? Yeah, sure, you want to just hold out for someone who has no baggage alright.

Okay seriously. I was divorced a couple of years ago and now I'm finding that life can be a BLAST. I used to wish I would fall madly in lust/love with someone and ride that emotional rocketship. Now I hope to God that doesn't happen.

If life isn't a full-flavor, thrill-a-minute, white-knuckle belly-laugh, then you're not following proper procedures.

Thank you for all of your support and kind words! Things should get a little better after today.

Off to face the day...
SmileWavy

I have found things seem to work themselves out if you put the effort into them.

Plus, you are in CA and could drive the 84 everyday. I was in a bit of a bad mood this morning, so despite the nasty fog and 30ish temperatures, I drove the 911.

Once I got on the road, BAM, I was in a much better mood! Those of you that keep em tucked away in the garage for weekends only, man, you are missing out.

I hope the rest of your day goes well.

Bill

+ whatever! Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday! No long term ideas here, but I have found a quick run over Mulholland down to PCH really puts things in perspective for me.

If you come out this way, give a call. You are welcome to the extra TV sitting in the garage. PM sent.
:)

My wife and I both downplay our birthdays. Heck, when you get to our age, lighting all those candles sets off the smoke detectors.

Happy birthday

We find just going to the beach lifts our spirits immensely.

Hi Dave. Happy Birthday. Sent you a PM here...

Dave - for some reason, some of the saddest days for me have been around my birthday -- seems that the ones closest to me had a way of hurting me the most on my 'special day.'

Nowadays, I just wish that my birthday goes by unnoticed by most. The way I figure - as long as nothing bad happens that day, I'm set.

Don't know if that help ya, but at least you know you're not the only one who does through stuff like you're going through now...

-Z-man.

Happy birthday! SmileWavy

If you've got time on your hands, why not try to bring a smile to someone else's life. The reflection often makes your own day a lot better. Offer to help out at a local soup kitchen, or maybe provide your IT experience to some local charities. My experience is that usally the people who are involved with charities are long on empathy and compassion, but lacking in technical know-how.

It will keep your hands involved with technology and introduce you to new people. You'll be surprised who you meet when helping with a charity, people from all walks of life. Maybe even someone who can help you into a new job or a significant other. The best part is you'll discover that there are a lot of people who are a lot worse off then yourself, often for no fault of their own. So if misery loves company, you'll have lots. But better yet, when you get a smile and sincere "thank-you" for your contribution to them, it will do wonders for your own mood.

Hey, today's the first day of the rest of your life. If you want to change something, now's the time to start!

felt the same way last year on my 40th b-day. looked back on my life and felt depressed about so many choices i'd made. i stayed home, locked the doors, closed the blinds, turned off all the phones and had a 'pity party' for one. this year was better..it had it's ups and downs, some surprisingly wonder, some bitterly disappointing, but at least i decided to spend this past january's 41st b-day with family instead of alone. and besides, at our age, more often than not we CHOOSE our family. blood isn't always necessarily thicker than water - sometimes we have friends who are better people and supporters to us than 'blood family' anyway. consider that..it's the relationship that counts in the end..it's quality..not the bloodline.
happy birthday!
ryan

Following some of the advice here, I uncovered the 911 and went up to Kanan, went down to PCH, drove north for a little bit, came back via Topanga to try and avoid some of the 101 traffic and ended up behind a truck that would not pull over for any of us!

Anyway, I'm a bit better today. I think talking with my parents last night and posting this to all you helped. Thank you! I am off to a Chamber of Commerce mixer to try and drum up business.

SmileWavy

http://forums.pelicanparts.com/uploa...1170985784.jpg

atta boy, dave! :)

http://www.pelicanparts.com/support/...verjaardag.gif

Sorry man, but I thought I saw this smilie a couple days ago and just had to use it. Great that you're feeling a bit better today.

Atta boy! Just gotta ride out the low times to make it to the high times.

Happy B-day Slodave from your cyber brother Slo-Bob.

SmileWavy

Happy Birthday Dave!
No advice, just enjoy what you have.

Dave - Happy Brithday Buddy!

The upside...your on the right side of the grass! Just think, your birthday could be 9-11 (like mine) then everytime you want a day to be all about you, the only thing people will think about is that terrible day. Show your passport or your license at the airport and they mention it everytime. Whats worse, when someone forgets your birthday when it is 9-11. How could they! Don't they remember?

No matter what, things can always be worse. Just be glad your name is not Jeffery Dahmer!

Dave, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!! :D :D :D http://www.pelicanparts.com/support/smileys/wat6.gif http://www.pelicanparts.com/support/smileys/wat3.gif http://www.pelicanparts.com/support/...artysmiley.gif http://www.pelicanparts.com/support/smileys/drummer.gif http://www.pelicanparts.com/support/smileys/ura.gif http://www.pelicanparts.com/support/...verjaardag.gif

Sorry about the downer day. I think birthdays can sometimes make us sit back and take stock of our lives and how we perceive them to be. Remember, we tend to be our own worst critics too (I know I am).

Dave, you're a good guy and a true pleasure to be around. I mean that. Keep your chin up and surround yourself with friends. Heck, if you feel up to it, get your a$$ up early Saturday morning and meet me down here in Irvine at Cars & Coffee. We can ogle a couple hundred great sports cars of all kinds and then maybe grab a quick breakfast. I'm sure Chris would be up for it and maybe a few of the rest of us here in SoCal. :D