Today should be a happy day.

[slodave]

Hi,

I hate to dump this here, but, I have not been in a very good mood. You see, today is my birthday, for most, today is a day of happiness. I have always liked to keep a low profile on "my" day. I am adopted and though I am very grateful for my adoptive parents, I have never really liked to celebrate my birthday. I don't have cakes and dislike being the center of attention.

Anyway, today I am 34 and I feel like I have gone nowhere. I quit my job at the end of the year, in the hopes of branching out on my own. I was working for a IT consulting business, but was very underpaid and at the end, I was mainly doing mundane laptop repair and was unhappy. My true skills were wasting away.

After my marriage dissolved a few years ago, I finally was able to get back into the dating scene. Unfortunately, my girlfriend of 6 months decided two weeks ago, that things really were not going to work out. She has a son and is going though a divorce herself. She is a great person, but I think it is the sudden rejection that is really stinging at the moment.

There is too much to bother you all with, but I just wish I were truly happy again.

Sorry if I brought the room down.

Dave

[slodave]

Yeah, I have been pretty cooped up and to make things worse, my T.V. broke last summer during my 911 engine fun. I have not really watched much T.V. in over 6 months!

It helps. Thanks Wayne.

[tabs]

U celebrate the Birth of a child because he is a joy to have in the world. If your real parents didn't feel that joy why should U, its kinda like having a cloud over your head. Now U maybe a joy to your adoptive parents but its not quiet the same. Ya know kid all U can do is play the hand you've been dealt.

And Best Wishes on your B DAY.

[slodave]

Tabs: Thank you, I am touched.

Wayne: I feel the same way. There were a number of years, where my mom would make a deal of things. The past number years have been nice. My parents and I usually go for week long ski trip and it usually falls on my b-day. They do not make a big deal of it, although we do go to dinner. Last year I decided to go to Mammoth by myself, drove up on my b-day and spent 5 days skiing by myself.

Dave

[Oh Haha]

Hey Dave,
I dislike big to-dos about my birthday. I will be 40 in a couple of months but you know what? I don't even care. I have all I need in my family. I went through a divorce ten years ago. I never would have thought that I would be where I am today. Things can change, brother. Sometimes you have to go out and change them but it's possible.

While I wasn't adopted, I can understand your folks wanting to be a part of "your" day. They love you and want to show you.
Hang in there. Look at what you have and not what ou don't have. Not necessarily material possesions, either.


EDIT: I forgot, Happy Birthday, Dave.

[azasadny]

Dave,
Happy Birthday! Things will get better!!

[DaveE]

Originally posted by azasadny
Dave,
Happy Birthday! Things will get better!!

+1 Happy Birthday!

[livi]

Dave,

Sorry to hear about your situation. I can really sympathize with you on that.

To be remembered on ones b-day is a heart warming thing. For me a phone call is enough. I am not that keen on big celebrations either. On my 40th b-day I got a coffee mug with the Porsche logo. Perfectly content.

I can see how your whole situation is mounting up to a psychological burden. Sometime between 30 and 45 many of us go threw a period of reflection, even 'crisis'. What have I to show for so far in my life? Waste of time? What is my place and calling?

I think this period will come upon most people, whether they feel lucky /successful or not. More or less half time in life and one stops to ponder on what to do - where to go - who to be with etc.

If that period coincides with negative experiences the total experience will be twice as bad.

Not uncommon that it will rise to the surface on b-days, Christmas etc.

I have no good advice to give. Every person´s situation is unique as well as the person himself. Only, don´t be too pessimistic. Give it time. Don´t rush into changes and remember - pain has a tendency to automatically subside as time goes by and problems have a tendency to resolve themselves in a random fashion.

And a very Big Happy Birthday, Dave!!

[on-ramp]

Dave, try not to worry about it too much.... As long as you have your 911, your youth, and your health, anything is possible.

just make some goals and stick to them.

[84porsche]

Dave,

Happy Birthday. I really don't know what to say except the next few beers are on me. Let's get a few guys together and go out for your birthday whenever you are free. Citywalk has some nice places, think about it. Nothing like a Porsche to make you feel happy again, oil leaks and all.

Chris

[KFC911]

Happy birthday Dave! Man, we all have days/times like this, but it'll get better. I suggest taking the top off your Targa and going for a drive to clear your mind...it can't hurt!

[id10t]

Happy b-day Dave!

If it will help, there's a job here in Gainesville, Fl. Traveling user training, day or two here and there, you could be at $40k by the end of the year.... friend of mine is the sysadmin for the company.

[skipdup]

Happy Birthday Dave!!

[lendaddy]

Happiness comes from within, not from outside forces. The problem is in that we surrender control of our happiness to others or circumstance....don't.

Sounds simple I know but it's true. Start by making yourself smile, you'll feel like a dolt at first but after a while you'll realize that you actually feel much better. Actually force it upon yourself for a couple hours. The purpose of this isn't fakery, but to prove to you the power you have over your emotions.

After that, intellectually look at your situation as opposed to emotionally feeling it. You are(as are the rest of us) very fortunate people and live charmed lives on a global scale. Realize that in your mind and the good emotions will follow.

You are young, educated, and (since at least two woman allowed you to touch them) I assume not unattractive.....know this and let it bring you happiness. The world is still your oyster my friend, your mind already knows this so let it take the reigns for a while.

Best wishes and happy birthday.

[john70t]

This, too, shall pass. So plan to have a happy un-birthday.

[rcm]

Dave,
Happy Birthday! The best thing about life is moving on and ahead. It'll come, don't worry about it, just keep moving. Call a friend and go out to dinner or something. Buy them the meal and tell 'em it's your day. I didn't used to like them either but, now F*** it these are days to remember. Have fun....

[Rikao4]

Happy rest of the year, lets just go for it.
Remember ,..there are alot of folks who would trade with you in an instant.
cancer,losing a loved one slowly,
not making light of your feelings, just remember you have friends,and some special folks who consider you to be a fine son.
Rika

[Porsche-O-Phile]

After age 29 I stopped giving a damn about birthdays, but that's just me. Happy birthday to you!

Sorry to hear your troubles. Just keep your chin up and remember that it is in the hours of our greatest adversity where the true measure of our character becomes evident. What you do, or don't do now will be remembered by you for a long time in the future. It's okay to feel down once in a while - I can't say I blame you. Just don't let it snowball on ya'.

At risk of sounding cliche, the best way to attain happiness is to do some soul-searching and introspection, and then go make it happen. All the best to you!

[motion]

Happy Birthday, Dave! Guys, no need to feel sorry for this guy. He has the Hollywood Fabian look going and is able to snag hot women, as evidenced by his last girlfriend, who was smokin'. Besides that, he seems like a very intelligent, interesting person. And he owns a 911. Looking into my crystal ball, I see good things ahead for Dave

[artplumber]

Dave,
Hope you can make it a great day despite these other things. Holidays bdays etc make for introspection and frequently wondering where things are going. I'm sure you have accomplished much if you were honest with yourself about it.

Keep on keepin on...