Easy there, cowboy. ;) :D

Sooooo..."GRILF" does stand for "Gay Rancher I'd Like to...." :eek:

Hey! I resemble that remark!:eek:

They keep sending me mailers and I keep throwing them out. Geez, can't they at least wait until I'm 55?:rolleyes:

Wait, I didn't think of that association. I never saw the movie and don't intend to. :p

I'm 61 and still have the ability to get to the medicine cabinet and take my Geritrol.

Heh. i have no idea where I picked up the term "grilf". Just saw it once and liked it. Like "dayum".

If it has some other, more nefarious meaning, so much the better!

JP

so what do you stay in the relationship for?

don't blame bill and newt, they have the same problem.

Amen, works for me...as I walk to towards the door, car keys in hand...

"I'm going to get some Thai food - want anything?"

Guys want action. Women want romance.

If you ask, "Where would you like to eat?", she is probably just happy to get on the road and be surprised by how thoughtful you are. By asking her to choose, you are making her responsible for the decision/meal/evening. She doesn't want that. Also, she doesn't want the same thing you had yesterday, because that denotes lack of thought. If you take her to the same place, she asks herself if the romance is gone. I like things I know I will like, I have learned to cast my food appreciation further afield to show her I'm interested in more than the food.

I used to get the same thing when asking my bride of thirty years what movie she would like to watch. I used to feel I was doing her a favour by asking her preference. She hated that.

It's about the experience and the conversation. The 'stream of consciousness' comments are pretty close in my experience. It is not the destination, but the journey, to them.

Les

JP- have you talked to your girlfriend or a girl friend? They might help more than guys with relationship problems.

I grew up with 5 step sisters who I hold dear. I don't UNDERSTAND girls, but I know HOW they will act and in this case, react. If you don't mind my opinion...

If you said something on the phone and she replied the exact opposite and then you said holy ****- that sounds like "you're stupid" to her. My sister says this about girls... "they will have a hard time segregating the meaning and the emotion." Girls relate to emotions. She hears anger. I mean this is no sardonic way.. it SOUNDS like you are angry.

You said she is bright and funny- was there a reason she stated the exact opposite? Did she not hear you right? Was there an earlier fight?

I don't want to get on here and start insulting your girlfriend or you. This is just what I've noticed being surrounded by girls growing up and dealing with my own anger fits.

I hope everything works out.

High maintenance girls are like that. When it comes to food.. I just don't care. Food + plate = me happy. I usually make girls pick too. Can be a headache. Although I did date a chick once (heavier) who knew EXACTLY what she wanted all the time. Who wants a picture? LOL :D

jp....jp....jp.......you're overcomplicating the whole issue.....
girls irritate us whenever we do guy stuff, just like how we as men can't figure out why it'll take a woman 2 hours to pick out a pair of shoes, then take them back the next day to exchange them for the first pair they picked.

women are indecisive and are always concerned that they'll make a decision which will make you think less of them, so they subconciously avoid making them, even the simplest of them like dinner choice.

you have to employ some caveman action.....when you're thinking about dinner.....tell her where you're taking her...don't ask, if she doesn't like your decision she'll tell you.....if she doesn't then she'll sit through the meal then ***** about it after the fact, which you then tell her "next time speak up".....this will make her comprehend that if she does in fact have to make some sort of decision.

when you're ready to goto toledo, tell her when you're going, don't ask, if she wants to go with you she will let you know.

finally....when you asked her to have her friend give you a call about X you should've said "what's the number so i can call them".

it's really simple caveman action.......:)

OPA!!!!!!

It's all about mutual respect...

JP, she does expect you to be the smart guy. ...Smart enough to take a look at the chess (checker?) board in front of you, in any given situation, and anticipate and calculate the optimal move. (yeah, she's being lazy)

In the case of the X, you should have seen early on that she was not thinking really hard about your desire to talk to X-owner. ...That you should have seen that and come up w/ the phrase " like 2 talk 2 X-owner anyway"

. . unless ofcourse, you actually saw the optimal move as being a bit of school'n on verbal com. --that lure often lands me in conflict too.

You f'ked up in the first place by ASKING her a QUESTION. I *never* ask girls questions if I can avoid it, I just tell them. It takes less time, requires less work, and keeps me from getting pissed off. You can't always avoid questions, but you can much of the time.

In in the case of the stream of consciousness I usually just say "STOP, that is NOT what I asked you, I asked X" and depending on the type of question ask for a yes/no answer. Example with a girl I'm kind of dating at school:

Me: Hey I'm going to Blazer, wanna go?
Her: I don't know, I have this lab report, I have to go tanning and you wouldn't believe...
Me: Oh my god, just stop talking. Stop, just shut up. Just say yes or no, 'are you going to blazer with me'?
Her: Yes.

Another example:

Me: Get dressed, we're going out to dinner. And wear something nice. Hurry up.
Her: Where are we go---
Me: I don't know, I haven't decided. I'm leaving in 20 minutes, be ready, I'll be downstairs. ::walks out::

The whole "little princess" mentality doesn't help either. **** pop culture for getting all these girls thinking that they are all princesses and models, and should be treated as such. Gurl power, ra-ra-ra!!! STOP THE BRAINWASHING!

3-1/2 pages to get to this-- the very best posture to take in a relationship with a woman.

Women especially women who have professional-level jobs have to be somewhat masculine all day. If you don't provide the safe refuge where they can be feminine, you will ultimately fail as a Significant Other.

That means you drive the small decisions. If she wants to differ on those decisions, she can speak up. Just assume she's happy to be in the passenger seat of the relationship -- but let her grab the wheel when she needs to. You want to really do it right, you'll have a plan B and C.