Two Recent (Exasperating) Exchanges with the Grilf
 

This first one was conducted by text message:

ME: Hey, check X out. I'm thinking about buying it!

HER: I have a friend who owned an X. I can ask him about it if you'd like.

ME: Great! Please ask him to call me to discuss X ownership! Thanks

(10 minutes)

HER: He sold the X.

ME: OK. Is he going to call me?

HER: For what?

ME: (resending prior text) To discuss X ownership. Do you even READ my text messages?

HER: I tried do do something nice for you and you're upset? I thought you wanted to buy X.

ME: It was a considerate offer, but I asked you specifically to ask him to call me, which was what I was interested in, and would be helpful, and which you didn't do. You did something nice, but useless. I didn't want to buy his X; where did that idea come from? I don't care if he HAS an X anymore, I care about discussing X ownerhip.

This degenerated into "if you think I'm so stupid, why do you date me?"

________________________________________

Then, just a few minutes ago we were discussing on the phone whether to go Toledo tonight (on last second notice) to pick up a car I bought.

ME: Well, we could go tonight, but I'd rather wait a couple of weeks and plan to go, instead of having to pull this together at the last second.

HER: Me too; I'd rather go tonight.

ME: Wait, what? That's exactly not what I just said.

HER: No, you just said you wanted to go tonight.

ME: Holy. ****. Are you kidding me? (I repeat word for word what I'd said). How do you get from that that I want to go tonight?

HER: Don't talk to me like I'm stupid.

ME: Oh, so you're getting that vibe but you couldn't get what I'd actually said ten seconds ago?

OK -- I didn't say the last part, but I was thinking it. Nor did I say "then don't "listen" like you're stupid".

It is unbelievable. Is it this bad all over -- I mean I know men/women have difficulty "communicating" but this has to set a new standard. I'm reasonably concise, no?

JP

What is a woman?

Think of a man but take away reason and accountability.

-Jack Nicholson As Good as it Gets

If you've faithfully reproduced the text and tense for us then yeah.. she sounds kinda stupid. Sorry.

Moses:

Having just quoted that exact line in another thread about 10 minutes ago, I am hoist!

JP

Okay, I'll say it. We need some naked PICS to determine if she's stupid!

Tell her you don't stick around cause of her brains but her snatch...

Re: Two Recent (Exasperating) Exchanges with the Grilf
 

Is it this bad all over?

Hmmm let me check my notes...

Uh huh.... uhhhhh... well... checking recent sociological studies...

Researching previous PPOT posts from other men asking similar advice... and...

Survey says,

YES!

I work in Toledo and live about 30 miles SW of Toledo. Let me know if you need any help with the car.

I dunno. I've been married only 31 years. When I figure it out, I'll let you know.

Yikes. Deja vu.

Once they start hearing you say the *opposite* of what you say, the end is near.

Woman just process differently.

My pet peeve with my wife is schedules.

When she was just the GF and used ot work in the city she'd calll and ask me to pick her up from the train station.

I'd ask her what time?

She'd then proceed to tell me what time the train was leaving.

So I'd say, "ok but what time does it get in?"

She'd say it was an express leaving at x:xx o'clock.

So I'd ask her again, "what time does it get in?"

She'd say it's about an hour.

So I'd ask her if she actually knew what time it arrived.

She'd say Yes.

So what f'n time is that cause THAT"S all that f'n matters.

She'd get annoyed that I could not figure out something that she could easliy have told me.

ooooooh yeah. "answers" to questions you don't ask, and what must be deliberate evasion of actually answering the question you've actually asked.

An old fave of mine.

JP

Usually its flip flopped. My wife can say something to me, hell, my coworkers can say something to me and sometimes I zone out right in their face and never hear a word they said. It used to drive my wife crazy but she realizes now I have issues that I refuse to address and try to ignore and just lives with it. Its worse when I am stressed out of something with the business.

Re: Two Recent (Exasperating) Exchanges with the Grilf
 

This may be the funniest thing I've ever read! I had to put my hand over my mouth here at work to muffle the sound!

Oh, wait. You have to put up with this cr@p. I'm SO sorry.

Oh, god. I can't stop laughing!!!

Sorry...seriously...

*snicker*

Computers have it right... eg:

Now check this out...

Coincidence? I think not....

Theres more pus$y in the world than co[k...once U realize that there is always another one down the street that would be more than happy to have U put it into the warmer all this ***** seems to go away.

Actuazlly JP U intimidate the poor bit[h, you think concisely and remember facts..the fact is that U are a smart guy, and most ARE going to be dumber than you are.

Tabby - thanks. And that has been the exact epitaph of many of my relationships.

Though I don't think I "intimidate" her. Overwhelm may be more like it ... esp. b/c she adores me, and slight emotional disruptions cause her discomfort, let alone even a limited glimpse at my wrath of frustration.

JP

Your not trying to intimidate...but that is her reaction to your smarts..your conciseness...

She may be a really bright girl for all I know?

20 yrs of confinement (marriage) and my wife STILL does the same thing to me. " me" honey would you like to go out to eat?"

Her, Well, I didn't want to cook But if you want me to cook us something I will, but I'm tired!!"

Wholly crap ........ My blood boils at the thought of those responces because there is NO right answer.

If you say " hey how about we cook Steaks on the grill,

She'll say I thought you wanted to go out!!! DAYUM, and the kids wonder why I'm going bald!!

I swear I've had that EXACT conversation.

I've been married 15 years and we communicate fine. I don't talk to her. When she talks to me, I nod my head but don't listen or hear a word she says. It works great ;)

tabby - she is bright. and funny, frankly.

it's not that I expect sympathy for this, but yeah, my own intellect (and temperment) are frequently the problem -- ESPECIALLY with bright girls b/c they're used to being the "smart one" and bowling over most guys. JP doesn't get bowled.

The SAY they want a smart guy, but what they really want is someone who is juuuuust smart enough to acknowledge how smart THEY are, but dumb enough to be dominated.

Just my experience, YMMV.

JP

This is the typical dinner conversation, with EVERY girlfriend I've ever had:

Me: I don't feel like cooking, so let's order in or eat out tonight. What do you feel like?

Her: Well, we could get pizza. Or Chinese. We haven't had [name of Restaurant] in a while...

Me: Um. I know what our options are. Which of them would you like?

(this is where the verbal volleyball begins, with her doing everything possible to avoid a decision ... which usually winds up with something like)

Her: Well, what do you feel like?

Me: Having you make a decision. For once.

______________________________________________
Alternatively, knowing she won't make a decision, and trying to avoid the foregoing "conversation", I try to take all the "pressure" off of her and toss this over the fence:

Me: Hey, I don't feel like cooking, how about Chinese tonight?

Her: uhhhhhmmmmmmm...... I don't feeeel like Chinese tonight.

Me: (upbeat, not that big a deal). OK, how 'bout pizza?

Her: uhhhhhhmmmmmmmmm.... I had pizza for lunch/yesterday/3 weeks ago

Me: OK, rather than shooting down everything I say, without offering an alternative... which must be fun.*.. how about you come up with an acceptable option...

Her: Well, we could get Italian... or Mexican... we haven't had (name of restaurant) in a while ....

and we're sliding back into the abyss.

Now, here's the thing. This actually upsets me. And I mention that it upsets me... in case my tone/inflection aren't getting the point across. But it doesn't change.

So then, when I get the "Why do you do X" when you know it bothers me speech. I ask why she can't -- actually WON'T -- do something as simple as select what to have for dinner.

Her: "I didn't know that bothered you so much..."

Yeah.

JP

* I pulled this stunt once on a grilf notorious for pulling this shyt.. making increasingly lame excuses for why this option or that option of hers wasn't perfect. She almost killed me.

Just tell her what U want/prefer to eat and go out and get it....to hell with the asking BS.

Don't U see the Eye of the needle.

Ahh, tabs. As always, there is an elegant simplicity to your approach....

Right up 'til you get the "you always make the decisions." "we always do what you want to do..."

And signed affidavits, videotape evidence and a choir of angels who have witnessed every time you've asked what they want for dinner/want to do tonight/etc. will not correct their misinterpretation of facts.

JP

The asking is a manmby pambyt bull-shi!ter....******* whipped mtherfker

The response...THATS WHAT MEN ARE FOR...

I hope this young lady was playin with ya and having a laugh at your response.

FWIW, when the wife and I get into it (usually over something similar to this) she "punishes" me by not talking, sometimes for days. She doesn't realize it's like a vacation.

It's amazing to me that they never hear what you said, but always know what you meant.

This thread is like therapy for me. Keep it coming.

you know the first thing a woman does when she leaves the battered womens center?


The dayum dishes if she knows what's good fur her!!

My wife started that 2 hour long rant about how I don't listen and What ever the fk she was saying .......blah blah blah...........
that's why they don't hear or comprehend you have spoken to them they're to busy in those little heads *****ing at us the hole time we're talking.

Sorry JP but the "trying to get her to pick what to eat" post is hilarious.

Very similar to a post of mine from years back about trying to get a simple yes or no out of a GF about going away for the weekend. She couldn't possible see into the future for two weeks to see if she could get away Saturday (her regular day off) "a client my be in town at the last minute" or "I might not feel well and won't be any fun to be with" :rolleyes:

How can you ever take any time off from work if you are in a constant "worst case scenario"?

The whole "I had that yesterday, last week, etc." BS drives me nuts also... am I the only person on the planet that doesn't give a flying fu*k about what I ate yesterday?

This EXACT same thing goes on with my wife. When she answers the question that I didn't ask, I then ask her the question for the answer she gave me.

Example: I'd ask her what time?
She'd then proceed to tell me what time the train was leaving.

Then I ask her, "what time does the train leave".

After doing this a couple of times, she catches on...

My wife and I go through the exact same thing, almost nightly.
Just the other night, we had an argument about always going out to where *I* wanted to eat. But the thing is, when we go out, she asks ME where I want to go. I usually don't care, so i pick the firs thing that comes to mind.
Two nights ago, we went out. She picked the place, which was not the place I was expecting we would go. When i questioned this, she said it's because its where i would want to eat.

WTF??

I don't care what I eat, as long as it's good. I wish she would learn that, so I would stop making the wrong choice.

They want the income potential of a smart, talented, self-confident, decisive man. They just don't want the company of such.

What exactly is a "GRILF"?

A "Gay Rancher I'd Like to Fock"?

You been watching "Brokeback Mountain" again?:D

This whole choosing where to eat and making a decision on what/where to eat is exactly what had been going on with my wife and I for awhile when we were first married.

We both got sick of the stupid non-decision making/trying to please each other B.S. and now I just state exactly what I want to eat and force her to state exactly what she wants. We typically agree or compromise. It's been working well.

Man. That's SO right on the money for 99% of the women out there. You just gotta find that 1% that are smart and demand a smart man to be along side them. I was darn picky, waited and chose wisely with my wife (and I assume she chose wisely too!) and it's been 11 years of pretty darn good times.

You gotta find the right woman. If you don't have the right one, you're better off alone and not wasting time with an idiot. In the mean time, there's plenty of free pron out there to keep you company.

Trying to find the "intellectual" click, with the sex and the smell and the taste is what we smart guys do.

We end up with the communicative disfunction characterized by JP and suggesting a rotting relationship that will soon be in the abyss.

If your view of her spirit doesn't lift you over this kinda relationship friction - dump her but quick.

We be smart and we think we need smart across the bed to compliment our smart and to make the relationship "whole".

What we really need across the bed is life, joy and spirit sufficient to lift us above the mundane machine that we men grind everything in life into.