What's wrong with kids today? Their parents, THAT'S WHAT!!!

Dueller · 03-07-2007, 08:11 AM

Friday evening I get a call from a hysterical mother...her 16 y.o. daughter's been arrested for shoplifting and they're at the police station. I get there in 5 minutes and mom's going nuts about her sweet baby in handcuffs sitting in the booking cell.

I speak to the officer and it turns out she was caught with $493 in designer clothes stashed in an oversized shoulder bag. Good thing, as >$500 is a felony. Stepdad arrives and I explain the situation: Caught on camera, had scissors/seam rippers etc to cut away the security sensors, etc.

MOM THEN WANTS ME TO ARRANGE FOR HER TO PAY FOR THE STUFF SO HER SWEET BABY GIRL CAN WALK.

Not happenin', dear. I explain the process; i.e., she will be held in juvenile detention over the weekend and until Tuesday for a detention hearing, regardless of the outcome there will be no permannet record if she stays out of trouble until 18, probabtion terms, counselling, etc. Mom is outraged.

Ultimately I convince her this is the best thing for her dtr since it appears it is a first offense and there are some extenuating circumstances as to why the kid made this bad decision, yadadadadada.

But Mom still thinks she should have been able to make it go away rather than subjecting the kid to "all this trauma."

Fortunately, the kid seems to have a little sense. Parents...sheesh

Joeaksa · 03-07-2007, 08:21 AM

Best thing you could have done.

"Making it go away" would not cure anything and the kid would be back in trouble soon...

rammstein · 03-07-2007, 08:30 AM

If that had been me as a child, there would be 2 possible outcomes:

1) Parents left me in Juvy

or the WORSE option

2) Parents took me home. To kill me away from the cops.

oldE · 03-07-2007, 08:30 AM

If it were my daughter, jail would be the safest place for her once her mother found out! She ain't seen trauma!

Les

Dueller · 03-07-2007, 08:38 AM

While it was the right "decision" it wasn't anything I decided. Given the amount of the merchandise taken, the "pre-meditation" (scissors/seam ripper, oversized shoulder bag), etc, they weren't going to let it go. I mean this wasn't a candy bar she lifted.

I spoke with mom/stepdad after she was hauled down to juvenile and asked about drugs, alcohol, acting out etc. Nada. No discipline problems, attends a private school/good grades, no trouble of any sort, etc. What I did find out was that she was a clothes horse. And that her natural father (absentee) was funding her obsession until last month when he cut her off because she was abusing the credit card he gave her. Likely at the direction of real dad's new trophy wife who's only 7 years older than this kid. The trophy wife who just had a baby.

Sooooo....the plot thickens.

AFJuvat · 03-07-2007, 08:38 AM

My parents always told me:

"If you ever get arrested, don't waste your one phone call on us."

I got caught shoplifting when I was 13. They called my dad - he beat my ass right there at the store, then offered to hold me down so the store owner could take a couple of swings.

He did - lesson learned.

Dueller · 03-07-2007, 08:49 AM

I will say this...the county where she was arrested has a very agressive,pro-active youth court system. She got the full meal deal: Formally booked, fingerprinted, orange jump suit while in juvenile, transported in hand cuffs, leg irons. When they brough her in for her detention hearing, the chained her legs to the table. They don't play around with scaring them to death.

Porsche-O-Phile · Porsche-O-Phile's Garage

Too many stupid people breeding. And of course it's never THEIR little angels that are guilty of anything. Oh, no. It's like prison - everyone's innocent and has been wrongly convicted.

Show me the mother of any confessed serial killer that thought anything other than what a perfect little misunderstood angel their kid was. . .

Craig 930 RS · 03-07-2007, 08:58 AM

Dueller -

How do you fit in this - what role in this - ie counselor, or ?

Joeaksa · 03-07-2007, 09:02 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Craig 930 RS
Dueller -

How do you fit in this - what role in this - ie counselor, or ?

Was wondering the same thing. I used to do crisis intervention counseling and the wonderful late night calls sure got tiring at times. Rewarding work but the stressful at times.

Dueller · 03-07-2007, 09:02 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Craig 930 RS
Dueller -

How do you fit in this - what role in this - ie counselor, or ?

Holistic attorney

legion · 03-07-2007, 09:16 AM

The sad thing is, she will probably blame her natural father for "causing" this situation.

Oh, and had this been me at sixteen...

I wouldn't have been at school for a month afterwards: My high school was a big building and I would have been unable to walk for at least a month.

I would have been grounded until I turned 18.

I would have had to pay back the money...which would have been difficult considering the prison-like grounding that would have forced me to quit my job.

I have no doubt that my father would taunt the prosecutor calling him a "wuss" in an effort to get a more severe sentence for me...

rammstein · 03-07-2007, 09:20 AM

You see, though, thats why you didn't do it. It all comes back to Pavlov. You were 3 and you took a nickel from your mom's purse to buy a gumball, and you were sent to your room with no dinner after a good slap to the face. When you were 16 and you reached for that designer shirt to steal, your face got a strange hurty feeling on it, and you decided to get a job instead.

Craig 930 RS · 03-07-2007, 09:21 AM

Damn good job - full resposibility advocated by an attorney.
Excellent.....

Dueller · 03-07-2007, 09:23 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by legion

I have no doubt that my father would taunt the prosecutor calling him a "wuss" in an effort to get a more severe sentence for me...

Were we separated at birth

stomachmonkey · 03-07-2007, 09:39 AM

I "borrowed" someone elses bike in 5th grade.

Dad found out.

After I regained consciousness he marched me to the kids house for a face to face apology.

Then put me into his own version of "community service" so I could earn money to buy the kid a brand new bike. And not a cheap POS either.

Lesson learned.

Dueller · 09:47 AM

A few more facts for you guys to chew on:

Mom and dad were divorced when the kid was 4 or 5. Mom's been a single parent until about a year ago when she remarried. Stepdad loves his stepdtr but is pretty level headed.

Mom impresses me as one of those women who feels like you should get whatever you can from men, so I suspect when natural dad gave the kid his credit card she encouraged her to get whatever you can from him. Mom does work in a professional posiiton so she ain't hurting.

I question mom about the kids designer clothing obsession. Says she does a lot of bargain shopping on ebay/internet and can find really good deals. Mom says her house is like a UPS distribution center because deliveries come 3-4 times a week.

This piques my interest...I accompany mom/stepdad home as they tell me she received some packages that day. We open them and its a return item from one of the kid's ebay customers. From that package, I'm able to hack into kid's ebay account.

BOOM! I discover 280 transactions in the last year

I immediately jump to the conclusion the kid's making a pile of money selling stolen goods and we have a bigger problem than just this incident. What I find on further investigation is that this kid is a marketing genius. HeR ebay site is very well done, and I'm able to track virtually all of her sales as being items she bought on ebay for a song and flipped for profits. And she's using those profits to fund buying her own clothes on ebay. For example, i find where she purchased a bulk lot of 10 necklaces for which she paid $70 and was selling them individually for $40-55 EACH.

mORE TO COME....

rouxroux · 03-07-2007, 09:44 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by legion
The sad thing is, she will probably blame her natural father for "causing" this situation.

There you go, blaming the "Baby Daddy"....

Legion, you're 100%...My Father whould have beat the Hell out of me! Remember when parents actually instilled values (and a bit of fear)?

stomachmonkey · 03-07-2007, 09:57 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Dueller
A few more facts for you guys to chew on:

Mom and dad were divorced when the kid was 4 or 5. Mom's been a single parent until about a year ago when she remarried. Stepdad loves his stepdtr but is pretty level headed.

Mom impresses me as one of those women who feels like you should get whatever you can from men, so I suspect when natural dad gave the kid his credit card she encouraged her to get whatever you can from him. Mom does work in a professional posiiton so she ain't hurting.

I question mom about the kids designer clothing obsession. Says she does a lot of bargain shopping on ebay/internet and can find really good deals. Mom says her house is like a UPS distribution center because deliveries come 3-4 times a week.

This piques my interest...I accompany mom/stepdad home as they tell me she received some packages that day. We open them and its a return item from one of the kid's ebay customers. From that package, I'm able to hack into kid's ebay account.

BOOM! I discover 280 transactions in the last year I immediately jump to the conclusion the kid's making a pile of money selling stolen goods and we have a bigger problem than just this incident. What I find on further investigation is that this kid is a marketing genius. HeR ebay site is very well done, and I'm able to track virtually all of her sales as being items she bought on ebay for a song and flipped for profits. And she's using those profits to fund buying her own clothes on ebay. For example, i find where she purchased a bulk lot of 10 necklaces for which she paid $70 and was selling them individually for $40-55 EACH.

mORE TO COME....

Sounds like the kid has a substance abuse problem. The substance being clothes. It's an addiction. Similar to a gambler she needs the high.

I think the kid needs some counseling as well.

Dueller · 03-07-2007, 10:04 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by stomachmonkey
Sounds like the kid has a substance abuse problem. The substance being clothes. It's an addiction. Similar to a gambler she needs the high.

I think the kid needs some counseling as well.

I agree totally. She was drug tested at juvenile and has come up clean, so that's a relief. I got her released yesterday and we have already arranged a mental health assessment..

Understand, she immediately confessed on tape at the store as well as the station. When I was able to meet with her, she does have the insight to acknowlege that her clothing obsession wasn't worth what she has bee subjected to. And I don't think she was posturing or being manipulative...