The love and hate of owning an old classic

[kach22i]

By Paul Boutin of Slate .

I Hate My Classic Car
Thank goodness they don't make 'em like that anymore.
By Paul Boutin
http://www.slate.com/id/2167797/fr/flyout

1963 Studebaker Avanti

My wife and I ditched our dull late-model sedans a few years ago. We adopted a 1963 Studebaker Avanti as our only car, driven once or twice a week from our downtown San Francisco home. I blame the Avanti's seductive powers for our infatuation. It looks futuristic even today—Jude Law drove one in the space-age fantasy film Gattaca—and the car is loaded with luxury options.

When we took our first spin, it was like yachting down the boulevard. Its engine is free of the emissions controls that hamper modern motors, so you feel a direct connection between your foot on the gas and the tires on the pavement. Without today's federal mandates on its construction, the Avanti sports chrome bumpers fore and aft instead of crumple zones. It serves a spacious, wraparound view to passengers, unobstructed by headrests, airbags, or complicated belts. The car's body, designed by the legendary Raymond Loewy, flips the bird to modern crash tests, while its interior is designed to resemble an airplane cockpit full of overheard switches—try that nowadays. Every grocery outing became a pleasure cruise. As many a passerby reminded us, they don't make 'em like that anymore. But several years with this rolling museum piece has taught me the truth: Even the best old cars sucked.

To begin with, they're hard to start in the morning. The Avanti doesn't have computer-controlled injectors to squirt the exact amount of gasoline into each cylinder of its engine at the precise moment. It doesn't have computer-controlled anything. Instead, it's got a carburetor, a comparatively crude device that passively mists fuel into the engine's air intake.


The carburetor is dumb. It works great at full throttle but is bad at starting the engine. It fails completely when facing uphill in chilly weather, a frequent position in San Francisco. It's not uncommon for our romantic dates to end with the hood open and me draped over the engine, trying to "choke it" by blocking the carburetor's airflow with my bare hands while my wife cranks the starter. When the engine kicks in, I spring back to avoid its big metal 1963 cooling fan, which doubles as a finger-chopper. This was all kind of sexy the first time I did it. Nowadays it's just an unnecessary risk, since whenever you turn the key on even the cheapest modern car, an amazing thing happens: It starts. Every time.

Because the Avanti predates Ralph Nader, it's as devoid of modern safety perks as it is of emission controls. There are seat belts, but no air bags or crumple zones. No supercomputer-generated crash studies went into the design. We have friends who refuse to ride in it. And you can see their point, since the brakes have a habit of dropping out all at once, just like in Hitchcock movies. Old brake systems didn't have backup cylinders in case one failed. After my wife lost the brakes three blocks above Fisherman's Wharf and nearly ended up sleeping with the sea lions, we decided that classic cool only went so far. Our mechanic cobbled together a modern brake upgrade from a mix of brand-new Mustang and Chevy truck parts.

The Avanti is a sexy-sounding machine. It doesn't purr, it rumbles like a big cat. Its exhaust tone, unimpeded by pollution controls, wows pedestrians and passengers. But try driving the four hours to Tahoe with it. Today's cars have much better noise insulation, not just for engine noise but for wind noise and for rolling-tire noise from the road. Cruising Interstate 80 in a new Cadillac is like lounging in a living room with a wraparound view. The Avanti is more like flying a small plane. The car sails beautifully at 90 mph, but the constant rush of noise is sure to give you a headache before you get to wherever you're going.

We've learned to live with all of the above—sort of—but the real miracle of modern automobiles is how long they go between breakdowns. After 10 years with a Honda Civic, I'm spoiled. Our car's cutting-edge 1963 tech is feeble and flaky by today's standards, even with new parts. The electric windows are dodgy. The power steering leaks—this model was known for it, even when new. The car goes through a lot of oil and is prone to overheating in hot weather, where "hot" means above room temperature. Manufacturing processes have gotten so much better since the days of chrome bumpers that cars just don't break anywhere near as often as they used to.

The Avanti now slumbers in our garage, broken again, while my wife and I ponder its future. Despite the new radiator we put in two years ago, it's leaking coolant and overheating. Friends we meet ask us how our car is doing, but we're not sure we're up for another multithousand-dollar round of maintenance for a car we can't trust for a 30-mile trip. The very last time I piloted the thing home, one eye on the road and the other glued frantically to the climbing temperature gauge, I nearly ran down a gray-haired man in a crosswalk. He gave the Avanti a long, loving look and chirped to me, "I haven't seen one of those in years! They sure don't make 'em like that any more." The poor guy clearly had no idea why I snapped back at him, "Be glad they don't."

[tangerine911S]

Having a 40 year old car as your only car/daily driver must be frustrating. It takes alot of time, money, and love to keep these old cars on the road and I think it creates a bond between owners. Theres nothing like driving a car where you can feel everything working in mechanical harmony and look under the hood and say "I know what that is" instead of staring at a big piece of moulded plastic.

[kach22i]

Originally posted by tangerine911S
keep these old cars on the road and I think it creates a bond between owners.

I told my wife to not bother waving to new Porsche's, but she could wave to any old car..........and wave twice as hard to the Brit makes like the MG's.

[widebody911]

I'm a big fan of outdated automotive technology. You can't really understand how cars have changed unless you've driven a really old one.

I just bought a 1952 bug, and just the differences between that and my 1956 Karmann Ghia are astounding. The ghia has "modern" improvements like synchronizers, turn signals, non-repeat starter switch integrated in the ignition switch, outside rear-view mirrors, and an accelerator pump on the carb, and 40% more horsepower. They both have manual chokes, though.

My '77 911 is primitive compared my my '95 M3, and my g/f's Infinity G35 makes the M3 look dated.

[tangerine911S]

Same here, passed a 550 spyder replica and got a big smile and a wave. Passed a 997 going about 3 mph and the girl didnt look twice. Probably didnt know I was in a porsche.

[notfarnow]

Originally posted by tangerine911S
Theres nothing like driving a car where you can feel everything working in mechanical harmony and look under the hood and say "I know what that is" instead of staring at a big piece of moulded plastic.

Peter Egan wrote an article about that, and referred to it as x-ray vision. You can get a real sense of security from a car you've had apart, and whose internals you've held in your hands. You know exactly what's going on in there.

On the other hand, you are also haunted by any corners you cut. Did you get ALL the metal shavings out? Those pistons were close enough to spec, they ought to be OK. Can make for some panicked thinking when you hear a funny noise.

The worst is the first few drives with an engine you rebuilt. I'm sure that's when I lose my hair.

[chibone_914]

Oh Thom, don't forget the sexy cable brakes versus hydraulic! 52' was still cable, right?

[Nostril Cheese]

Avantis were garbage when they were new.

Dont have a lot of sympathy for the guy

[kach22i]

Originally posted by Nostril Cheese
Avantis were garbage when they were new.

Dont have a lot of sympathy for the guy

No one ever said they were dull though.

[Jeff Higgins]

Kind of reading between the lines, this sounds like a guy with a lot of romance and nostalgia, but not a lot of mechanical savy. Bad combination if you want to daily drive such an old car. And he didn't exactly pick a good one, either.

My daily driver is my '70 Beetle. Way more modern, luxurious, and powerful than Thom's old beaters. Yes, it can be done, if you are familiar enough with it and in tune with it. Hell, the newest car I have ever personally owned is my '72 911. The new stuff goes to the wife. Sounds like this guy needs to go back to the new stuff; he sounds a lot like my wife.

[widebody911]

Originally posted by chibone_914
Oh Thom, don't forget the sexy cable brakes versus hydraulic! 52' was still cable, right?

Mine's a deluxe, so it has juice brakes.

[onewhippedpuppy]

Originally posted by Jeff Higgins
Sounds like this guy needs to go back to the new stuff; he sounds a lot like my wife.

I totally agree though, he sure didn't sound like someone who turns the wrenches himself. Anyone who tries to DD a classic needs to know what's going on under the hood.

[tabs]

After a half hour in my Mustang I am ready to put it away for another year. Even though I modernized the cars mechanicals it still is an old car.

When I last drove the 911S it was adictive. Pushing down the Freeway I would aways watch for stuff bigger than me, to make sure they saw me. Then I would make my move. I always watch the left front tire.

Also I love trouble free motoring in comfort. That means a newer vehicle preferably a PU Truck...I fit...

[Hugh R]

When you find that things like synchro rings for the trannie are NLA and you'll have to butcher the car to put another trannie in it, you give pause to think about driving them.

[craigster59]

I used to DD a '58 Ford F100. Coming over the Sepulveda Pass down towards Sunset, it never failed, someone would cut into my "safety cushion" and I would have to stomp on the drum brakes to slow the pig down. I finally had to ditch it, too many a-holes in their peppy little modern cars spoiling my ride.

[tabs]

Originally posted by craigster59
I used to DD a '58 Ford F100. Coming over the Sepulveda Pass down towards Sunset, it never failed, someone would cut into my "safety cushion" and I would have to stomp on the drum brakes to slow the pig down. I finally had to ditch it, too many a-holes in their peppy little modern cars spoiling my ride.

I hated having my Heart in my Mouth trying to stop in time...thats why I went to 4 wheel discs on the Mustang. It helps alot.

[craigster59]

Originally posted by tabs
I hated having my Heart in my Mouth trying to stop in time...thats why I went to 4 wheel discs on the Mustang. It helps alot.

I've put discs on the '65 Mustang which does help a lot.

The thing I miss most is the stories and discussions you have with strangers when they see your ride. I was giving a ride to a set with a cute Production Assisstant from the mid-west when she says, "The first time I got laid was in a truck like this!".

They're conversation starters alright...

[Steve PH]

Up to date modern family cars suck, well european ones do anyway, gadgets you don't need, seats set too high, over light steering and brakes that will have you head butting the windscreen (sorry I mean shield!) with slightest touch.

I sorta miss my MGB GT, it smelt loverly (ok it smelt oily, which is nice!) and I like having dash mounted switches for over drive and wind shield wipers.

My 944 isn't a bad old heap either, it starts first time every time, has great steering and my back side is nice and close to the ground.

I work in the motor trade, spend a good portion of the day in modern cars, it is always a relief to climb down in to my trusty 944 or clamber onto my bicycle.

[cantdrv55]

Originally posted by widebody911
and my g/f's Infinity G35 makes the M3 look dated.

What, you have a girlfriend and we haven't seen her pic yet? I miss the old days.

[Noah930]

Originally posted by craigster59
cute Production Assisstant ... "The first time I got laid was in a truck like this!".

They're conversation starters alright...

More important than how the conversation started, is where it went!