This made my day

[notfarnow]

Been working till the wee hours for weeks trying to get baseboard trim done before my wife gets home. Then I was up till ~2am last night trying to get my wife's flights from Johannesburg sorted out.

Worked from home today. Beautiful, hot summer day. Booked out at 430 to mow the lawn.

The smell of fresh cut grass puts me in a good mood.

This, not so much:


Guess I didn't pooper scoop thoroughly enough

Sometimes when you are in a cranky mood, it takes something really $chitty to swing you around and not take yourself so seriously

[masraum]

so was that thrown at your eye at high speed, or were you not wearing the glasses at the time?

Poo in the eye, I'm guessing, is no fun at all.

[notfarnow]

Originally posted by masraum
so was that thrown at your eye at high speed, or were you not wearing the glasses at the time?

Poo in the eye, I'm guessing, is no fun at all.

high speed ricochet off the house, right in the face. Just got out of the shower. Think I'll call it a day and take the dogs for a walk. I think I'll hose off the glasses and run 'em in the dishwasher

[red-beard]

Originally posted by notfarnow
high speed ricochet off the house, right in the face. Just got out of the shower. Think I'll call it a day and take the dogs for a walk. I think I'll hose off the glasses and run 'em in the dishwasher

Ohh, don't tell wife you ran something through the dishwasher tha had poop on it...

[Eric Coffey]

So, you got totally $hit-faced while mowng the lawn, eh?

[oldE]

Today is the day the Mrs. gets home.

Don't think we'll hear from Jake for a while.

Les

[WolfeMacleod]

Originally posted by notfarnow
high speed ricochet off the house, right in the face. Just got out of the shower.

Sorry, but that made my laugh and think about something that happened to my wife once.

While looking up at something (don't know what) when she was younger, a bird crapped in her eye...almost.. If she had not been wearing glasses, she would have been in white-out conditions.

[widgeon13]

Usually happens to me when weed whacking so I'm usually keping my mouth closed when doing that work and wearing safety.

You know how it happens, it's like trying to stop a swing at a baseball. Swinging the weed whacker and in the corner of your eye, there it is, but is it really, *****, too late now.

[targa911S]

So the poop hit the impeller today for you .. Sorry to hear that. Tomorrow is another day.

[GO DAWG GO]

Jake,

I hope none of it flew in your mouth!

Have a chocolate shake on me....

[Shaun @ Tru6]

I wish I hadn't clicked on this thread, but now that I'm here, something odd struck me.

Would you call up or otherwise gather all your neighbors to come down and take a look and hear the story?

It's an amazing community where you can share this kind of stuff.

[notfarnow]

Seriously though, getting a wad of poo in my face really did swing my mood around. As revolting as it was I couldn't stop laughing.

I took the dogs for a walk intead of finishing the back part of the lawn. Good thing too, down at the river there were two girls, maybe 12-13, out in an inflatable dinghy without life jackets. It was windy and they were struggling a bit against the wind so I threw out a line and pulled them back in.

They probably would have been fine, but I've decided that I saved their lives and the poo in my face prompted me to stop what I was doing and go for a walk. Done deal: I'm a poo-faced hero. The newspaper hasn't called yet but I'm working on the headline.

Originally posted by oldE
Today is the day the Mrs. gets home.
Don't think we'll hear from Jake for a while.
Les

Not yet! Kate's flights got all goobered up and she spent the night in Johannesburg kissing locals. She's getting here tomorrow, so I have an extra day to make it look like a sane person has lived here for the past 6 weeks.

I just spent an hour trying to hide my rediculously ugly, new to me, 20' car trailer. Backed it into the tree, the car, the garage door and eventually into the garage. I can't back up a trailer to save my life, and the fact that my glasses were in the fking dishwasher didn't help.The only thing I was missing to complete the scene was my father in the passenger seat yelling "NO NO!! LEFT LEFT!! RIGHT!! BACK UP!! CLOCKWISE!! NO!! RIGHT!!"

Anyhow, the extra day means I get to kick back a bit.

Errr... nah... I'm painting the downstairs while the paintings are down and the furniure is moved aside



back to work, $chitfaced

[notfarnow]

Originally posted by Shaun 84 Targa
I wish I hadn't clicked on this thread, but now that I'm here, something odd struck me.

Would you call up or otherwise gather all your neighbors to come down and take a look and hear the story?

I know, almost immediately after I posted it I thought I may have gone overboard. Then I remembered the "I just cut my bag" thread.

[Jims5543]

You might want to check out the dogs diet there. Looks a little muddy to me.

My Choc. Lab is good at 2 things.

1. Eating

2. Pooping

and not necessarily in that order.

I just mowed my lawn this evening and as I was pooper scooping I was amazed at the sheer volume of crap that comes out of that thing. The frustrating part is that she cannot make a pyramid, she walks along squatted while pooing.

[GO DAWG GO]

Jake,

My son, my wife and I died laughing at this thread. It is seriously funny at your expense. You really didnt put your glasses in the diswasher did you? If you did, don't tell your wife or your neighbors. You'll never have anyone over again to eat or party.. I bet you will be glad to see the misses. Have fun...

Bob

[notfarnow]

Originally posted by robert_snyder
My son, my wife and I died laughing at this thread. It is seriously funny at your expense. You really didnt put your glasses in the diswasher did you?

If I knew it was a family show I would've watched my language! My incredibly tolerant baptist neighbor walked over just as I backed my Ugly Trailer into the garage door, and heard me spew forth a compound cuss that made his eyes sting. He was bringing me a pice of cake because it was his birthday.

Yes I put the glasses in the dishwasher. I'm wearing them now as I paint.

I know the whole thing is funny... I am in a flap. The house looks like someone picked it up and shook it. It is all good though and I'm having fun. Glad I can vent here

Originally posted by Jim Cesiro
You might want to check out the dogs diet there. Looks a little muddy to me.

Ya well they ate a whole loaf of bread the day before yesterday, so they are a bit off kilter. Best to spare the details, other than to say they aren't sleeping on the bed.

back to work

[djmcmath]

Originally posted by robert_snyder
You really didnt put your glasses in the diswasher did you? If you did, don't tell your wife or your neighbors.

I know, right? I mean, women get upset about the silliest things!

[austin552]

Here's poop in your eye.

[Christien]

Oh, Jake, I've got tears coming down my cheeks reading this, I'm laughing so hard! Thanks for starting my day off with a smile!

[notfarnow]

LOL, glad people got a laugh out of it... I sure did.

I felt like I was in a sitcom yesterday... almost like Mr Bean. It was one goof up after another. I was overtired and working faster than my wee brain could keep up with.

I finished painting at ~3am

Here was the final comedy routine of the evening:

I want to preface this by stating that I had the camera in my hand, I didn't go back to get it. I had just painted upstairs, and was taking a couple pics downstairs when I heard heard a licking sound. I went upstairs and snapped this as I yelled at him to stop.

This is my best friend Chance, the dumbest dog I have ever known, helping me paint: