Quote of the year Contest!

[scottmandue]

Wait a minute... does the credit got to the quoter or the quotee?

[Rick V]

This entire thread works
http://forums.pelicanparts.com/showthread.php?t=361107&highlight=slutty

[Jims5543]

I still laugh to this day, its TRUE!!!

Originally Posted by cstreit

Yellow flags in NASCAR are the folding chairs of "pro" wrestling. They use them to make things more interesting for the viewers

[VaSteve]

Originally Posted by }{arlequin

"i love the iphone"
"i want the iphone"
"i got the iphone"
"iphone missing some features"
"i don't like the iphone anymore"
"i return my iphone"

that's DQ'ed since it followed the same pattern as the Digital SLR....

[Joe Bob]

"never trust a fart".....

Howard Dranow....RIP

[RANDY P]

Mark Wilson selling a pair of seats -

"never farted in, promise!"

followed by JWW advertising his yearly swap meet:

"buy parts, sell parts, trade parts - who knows, you might break even!"

rjp

[Isabo]

Should there be a sub-category just for quotes from snowman? Just check out his posts in the "is there a God" thread

[notfarnow]

I just want to say how honored I am to have recieved 2 nominations for the same post.

FWIW, I only offfered Joe a HJ because I knew that of all the members here, he wouldn't take it. Some of you other guys, not so sure

[rammstein]

There haven't been any posts on here in awhile, and I didn't want to add any myself, but this one is above and beyond the call of duty:

Originally Posted by livi

FLUFFER sounds rewarding. What is the job description ? Any experience on board ?

This has been approved by the committee too. See initial post for official semi-finalists.

Keep them coming- and again, post them properly so that they can be verified.

[rammstein]

Originally Posted by mikez

"never trust a fart".....

Howard Dranow....RIP

If someone can point me to this, the committee would like to see it in it's original context.

[id10t]

30 posts and no mention of cratch slapping....

[KFC911]

Originally Posted by john walker's workshop

bring the wife, we'll dicker!

I still chuckle over JW's bargaining technique posted here just last week

[legion]

My vote:

Originally Posted by lendaddy

Him- "Well....when you told me it was Kevin I ran out in front of his car and started dirty club dancing to the music and dry humping his fender. When I didn't get the expected laughter I looked closer to see a man I do not know slowly removing his sunglasses with a blank stare of confusion on his face. I was so shocked and embarrassed that I just slinked away behind your house without saying a word"

[lendaddy]

Originally Posted by legion

My vote:

I feel it is important to note that I was quoting my buddy, this was not a first person account

[sand_man]

Still makes me laugh...

Originally Posted by sammyg2

Yes he deserved it, but he's not a douche. He's a turd sandwich.

[id10t]

The cratch slapping was great, but I think P-O-P's post was best from it...

Originally Posted by Porsche-O-Phile

"Cratch Slappin'" by P-O-P, (c) 2007, with sincere apologies to Dr. Seuss. It's the beer's fault. . .



So I'm with my new girl and she makes this request,
One evening while I'm busy fondling her breast.
It was weird! Unexpected! It took me aback!
She says her cratch she wants me to smack!
I'm stunned at first and don't reply,
But thinking about it, I guess I should try.
After all this is something she's asked me to do,
So my plan, my good friends, I'll now share with you:



If it's something she wants and something she needs,
I'm smackin' that ***** until it bleeds.

Although this is new and a little bizarre,
I'm gonna' smack it so hard, it might leave a scar.

If I can't satisfy her, she'll call me a wimp,
So it's time to become a cratch-slappin' pimp.



I'll smack that cratch - I'll smack it blue!
I'll smack it the way she wants me to!
I'll smack it soft, I'll smack it hard,
I'll smack it inside or out in the yard.

I'll smack 'til tender and puffy and red,
I'll smack it whenever she takes me to bed.

I'll smack that cratch all kinds of ways,
I'll smack it on even and odd-numbered days.



She's the one who wants me to try this technique!
I should oblige! It don't mean I'm a freak!
So I'll do what she asks and extend my hand,
Line up a good shot and then let it land,
With a "slap! slap! slap!" right on that place
That's usually covered with panties and lace.
And the "slap! slap! slap!" of skin on skin
I know will bring her a satisfied grin.



I'll smack that cratch - I'll smack it blue!
I'll smack it the way she wants me to!
I'll smack it soft, I'll smack it hard,
I'll smack it inside or out in the yard.

I'll smack that cratch - I'll smack it silly!
I'll smack it the way I'd smack Milli Vanilli.

I'll smack it hard, I'll smack it light,
I'll smack it as if we were having a fight.



And at the end of it all, when the slappin's all done.
I know she'll be happy and say "that was fun".
She'll say it was great, she'll say it was nice,
But her cratch will need some aloe and ice.
'cause I'll do what she wants - I ain't holding back!
That cratch is gettin' my smack! smack! smack!



I'll smack that cratch - I'll smack it blue!
I'll smack it the way she wants me to!
I'll smack it soft, I'll smack it hard,
I'll smack it inside or out in the yard.

I'll smack that cratch - I'll smack it around!
I'll smack it until I hear that "slap!" sound!

I'll smack that cratch like a good boyfriend should,
Whether using my forehand or backhand - or wood.

[gassy]

+1

[Mule]

+1,000,000,000,000.000 Best post ever!

[rammstein]

The committee has decided to add the cratch-slapping poem to the semi-finalists. Ordinarilly, a post so long would not be admissible. However, in this case it has been decided that anybody spending THAT much time coming up with a poem about the slapping of a cratch might need this kind of recognition for his own sanity.

[rammstein]

Originally Posted by scottmandue

Wait a minute... does the credit got to the quoter or the quotee?

Quotee. The Quoter will, however, be honored in a to-be-determined fashion.