Originally Posted by Porsche-O-Phile
(Post 3457789)
"Cratch Slappin'" by P-O-P, (c) 2007, with sincere apologies to Dr. Seuss. It's the beer's fault. . .
So I'm with my new girl and she makes this request,
One evening while I'm busy fondling her breast.
It was weird! Unexpected! It took me aback!
She says her cratch she wants me to smack!
I'm stunned at first and don't reply,
But thinking about it, I guess I should try.
After all this is something she's asked me to do,
So my plan, my good friends, I'll now share with you:
If it's something she wants and something she needs,
I'm smackin' that ***** until it bleeds.
Although this is new and a little bizarre,
I'm gonna' smack it so hard, it might leave a scar.
If I can't satisfy her, she'll call me a wimp,
So it's time to become a cratch-slappin' pimp.
I'll smack that cratch - I'll smack it blue!
I'll smack it the way she wants me to!
I'll smack it soft, I'll smack it hard,
I'll smack it inside or out in the yard.
I'll smack 'til tender and puffy and red,
I'll smack it whenever she takes me to bed.
I'll smack that cratch all kinds of ways,
I'll smack it on even and odd-numbered days.
She's the one who wants me to try this technique!
I should oblige! It don't mean I'm a freak!
So I'll do what she asks and extend my hand,
Line up a good shot and then let it land,
With a "slap! slap! slap!" right on that place
That's usually covered with panties and lace.
And the "slap! slap! slap!" of skin on skin
I know will bring her a satisfied grin.
I'll smack that cratch - I'll smack it blue!
I'll smack it the way she wants me to!
I'll smack it soft, I'll smack it hard,
I'll smack it inside or out in the yard.
I'll smack that cratch - I'll smack it silly!
I'll smack it the way I'd smack Milli Vanilli.
I'll smack it hard, I'll smack it light,
I'll smack it as if we were having a fight.
And at the end of it all, when the slappin's all done.
I know she'll be happy and say "that was fun".
She'll say it was great, she'll say it was nice,
But her cratch will need some aloe and ice.
'cause I'll do what she wants - I ain't holding back!
That cratch is gettin' my smack! smack! smack!
I'll smack that cratch - I'll smack it blue!
I'll smack it the way she wants me to!
I'll smack it soft, I'll smack it hard,
I'll smack it inside or out in the yard.
I'll smack that cratch - I'll smack it around!
I'll smack it until I hear that "slap!" sound!
I'll smack that cratch like a good boyfriend should,
Whether using my forehand or backhand - or wood.
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