Will you get re-married?
 

:rolleyes:I am not sure if this was a subject before. If so, ignore this thread.

Since we seem to be all 'guys' here, I am wondering what the majority would be.

1. If you were married, how long was the marriage? years/months?
2. If you are currently divorced, will you entertain marriage again?
3. If you are planning on getting re-married, how long was your 'single/divorced' status?

Based on my conversation with a lot of married and divorced guys (at work, at parties, around the neighborhood), they WILL NOT marry again.

BTW, the single ones are the only ones entertaining marriage.

Married once. Did not pan out.

Longer non married relationship after that. Did not pan out.

I have figured out women.

I will never marry again.

I've been married twice.
Both were excellent housekeepers.
When we got divorced
they kept the house.
Badda bing!

On accasion I see my 2nd ex-wife on the road.
I still miss her.
But my aim is improving!
Badda boom!

I had a girlfriend I was crazy about.
She wanted to get married.
I got excited, then she said
"But not to you!"
Ka Pow!

They say a man is not complete
until he is married.
Then, he is finished.
Wham bam bodda bing!

Well, in all honesty, I have figured out myself - in conjuncture with women.

Some claim that the best woman is a pro worth her price.

married 19yrs.

dee-vorced joyfully 8 years.

been a man whore extrordinaire past 6 years-priceless.

dated present drop dead good looking 36year old blonde g/friend w/36dd hooter option last 2 years-perfect.

befo i re-marry i will have to purchase my 35-38ft formula boat w/twin merc 525EFI's/A/C(used divorce forces sale) and my 89 speedster(used low miles/divorce forces sale).


that way she cant take my house, nor my boat, nor my porsches(plural), nor my bikes, nor my quad,nor my guns,nor my drum set,nor my dogs,nor my kids,nor my tools, nor my scuba gear, soul,heart, bank accts, etc fill in the blank!


figure driving to the lake w/my cab or speedster post divorce, and hopping in 36ft formula, if i cant find a new one ..............i should probably shoot myself!

WAIT!!! You forgot one...

I never knew how happy a man could be until I got married...
...but then it was too late!
[que rimshot]

Randy

Haven't you ever heard of learning from your mistakes?:D (Happily married 5 years)

You get married just once in a life...married since 10 years...happy...

Next week will be 21 years. If, by some misfortune, I have to be single again, I would consider another marriage if I can find another partner of the same character as my wife.

Well I'm a girl. Hopefully my response is welcome.

Was married 9 1/2 years. That ended in 2/02.

I was cautious about marrying the first time. I would definitely entertain marrying a second time, but it has to be right. If it isn't right, I'm totally happy with not remarrying.

I've acquired a good radar, I don't even mess around....don't see me in a long term "bad" relationship, I get turned off by drama quick.

To clarify, this does not apply to someone on this board, who isn't even remotely "bad"......who is a fine person.

You want pages of answers to that question?

http://nomarriage.com/

For you guys who've been through a divorce or two, how sure were you when you first got married that it was gonna last forever? Did you see but ignore red flags? Think it would all work itself out? Or were you 110% convinced it was gonna last forever? I'm getting married in about 6 wks. for the first time at the tender age of 36. I've had a previous engagement break up and as tough as it was, I know it would have been a lot worse had we gotten married. Please advise.

First time I got married because it seemed like the thing to do - 26 - out of school - she was pretty - college educated. The pschyo family didn't show up until after we were hitched. In all honesty - it was a 2 year relationship and a 5 year divorce. Glad there were no kids.

2nd time around - it's been great. 3 kids a dog - and 9 1/2 years later and we still love each other.

You gotta have passion - without passion - you just have a merger.

Men take the loss of a loved mate much harder than women do. I am a widower. At my age, I doubt I would find anyone of the same caliber.

Rick, there are many other issues to be sure but if you already have frequent arguments or even less than frequent heated arguments(very bad) then you should probably scrap it.

I know that sounds harsh but I firmly believe it, life is too short.

Married at age 23; lasted 6 weeks short of 20 years, wife comes home and wants out. No cheating, beating, drinking, drugs, money problems, raising kids problems, no verbal abuse either direction. Still can't put "why" into a single sentence.

I have been in a live in relationship for almost 8 years. Rebuilt my life with a great woman in many ways but there are some issues. We'll see what happens.

No, never remarrying. I am a "commitment" kind of guy as my track record shows. But getting married doesn't assure a damned thing. The results of my marriage shows that. Marriage (despite what many think - I thought it) doesn't assure anything. It could have been ME that came home and simply "wanted out". I'm not opposed to marriage in a general sense, but for me as a middle aged man with children raised, retirement assets, etc. it would serve no positive purpose whatsoever and MIGHT result in a huge negative in my life if it ended again.

Rick, I married at 23. At 36 you are a LOT more set in your ways. That alone would be troubling to me.

I knew even at that age that "forever" was a concept I just couldn't really understand. Still, she was my childhood sweetheart, the first girl I had made love to:rolleyes: (yes, 20-20 hindsight makes me cringe over that too). For you it should be ENTIRELY different. Still I knew there were issues but thought they would sort of come out in the wash. Instead they sot of get diluted "in the wash" of the years but they don't go away. They come to the surface eventually.

I was 22 when I first got married. Too young in retrospect. (for me). We were married almost 8 yrs. My 2nd wife and I have been married almost 6 yrs now and it's great. Night and day. It's fun to be married to your best friend. I ignored a few red flags with my first wife and they didn't go away, as I was hoping they would.

I've been engaged and close to getting married once before and almost engaged once before that. I've had plenty of great, but very difficult, gf's. Honestly, my fiance now is the easiest-to-get-along-with person I've ever met. She has a heart of gold. She's nine yrs. younger than I am. And I'm pretty sure I'm set in my ways, while there's still a chance she'll change some more. But I just have not seen any of the red flags with this one in almost three yrs. of dating, that I always saw early on but ignored with all the others. And marriage was not at all something on my must-do list. It's just that I can't imagine even wanting anyone other than the one I have now.

Mine had a heart of gold too, and no, I'm not trying to be sarcastic. After we divorced she hada bank account of gold (yes, I WAS being sarcastic there)

If marriage wasn't on your to do list, why is it now? Only because its the next "thing to do"? Because you want kids together (no argument with that reason)? Just curious.

I am NOT a kindred spirit to Tom Leykis. Too many guys don't "get" that he's doing a SHOW! But I don't really see why; other than children, a guy needs to get married. You can be entirely faithful and devoted to this woman that you love without a piece of paper that doesn't assure anything really. Oh wait, it DOES assure there will be bigger financial ramifications if your love affair ever ends.

I don't care to speak of my personal situation but my general feeling is that I would not remarry...but never say never.

I heard an interesting analogy from an attractive 36yo, single, female bartender last week. While on the topic of breaking up she spoke about a guy she loved but couldn't get married to.

The boys asked why.

Her response: "It's like that beautiful pair of shoes you see on sale at Nordstroms. You try them on and while they don't quite fit they look great. You figure you'll get used to them after wearing a few times.
You bring them home and wear them once or twice and they're just too aggravating. Then they end up in the closet until you give them away or throw them out."

"A heart of gold"

A definition of gold: Cold, metallic and hard to find.

IMO, you need not see red flags to caution. She will change and that can be for better or worse.

I've been told that men get married thinking that their gals will never change, and that women get married thinking they'll be able to chance their men in to what they want them to be.

Dan, while you don't have to be married to be in love, or in a great relationship, it is the final leap so to speak. When you marry you not only enter into a legally binding contract, but if you marry in a church you also make a promise to God. Marriage is the ultimate commitment, partially because it is so hard to get out. I'm not at all saying that those who don't marry are wrong, it's your life. But when I met my wife, I wanted to make the ultimate commitment to her. I never doubted my decision, and have never regretted it.

Rick, do you doubt that you are making the right choice? "When there is doubt, there is no doubt". I think Deniro said that in Heat, but it applies here. It's normal to be anxious about it, but if you aren't certain it is right, back away.

No, Matt. No doubts whatsoever. And I've had them about plenty of things and people in the past.

Ok, next question. Anyone here ever get a pre-nup? Why/why not?

Nope, but I didn't have much when we married. Still don't.:D

Seriously though, to me, a pre-nup is just preparing for divorce. I always figured that love > stuff. If my wife left me, losing half of my things would be the absolute least of my worries. It all comes back to the leap of faith thing. You are rolling the dice, and on the line is half of your stuff. If your stuff is that important to you, or if you think that a divorce is a real possibility, you shouldn't get married. Probably not a popular opinion, but that is how I approached my marriage.

EXACTLY WHERE I AM..............and loving it! not one red flag! unlike 1st marriage where i saw a couple flags and was warned by her sister about her temper!!!

pretty much sums up exactly how i feel.

i am BLESSED to have the relationship i have now.

im just trying to figure out how she will wear an 1989 speedster on her ring finger instead of buying her a diamond!


LOL! being in love is fun. not being in love is like being in war.............IT SUCKS GIANT DONKEY SCHLONGS!

Married at age 31, Cindy was 28. Maybe that has a bearing on why we've been together for more than 3 decades? We dated for a couple of years before running off to Reno for a quick civil cermony.

Would I remarry? Hell, I can't imagine life without her.

I give ya 4 years.

classy

Married to wife #1 in grad school at age 28. That one lasted 4 years.

Married to wife #2 at age 34. That one lasted 8 years.

There were plenty of red flags that I can see *in hindsight* AFTER 5 years of therapy. I think it really depends how self-aware you are. People change, but their core values really don't unless they do a tremendous amount of hard work. Most are not willing. And don't underestimate the ability of someone (including yourself) to keep up a "nice" facade during years of courtship.

But yeah, I'll likely get married again if I find the right woman. For the time being I've been enjoying some of the wrong ones. :p

Some say that the 2nd time around is a better union, especially if the choices were better made. That would be my case having just celebrated 25 years.

Core values....I think you nailed something there. That, combined with telling the truth about those values. Cindy & I shared many of the same values and opinions over a wide range of topics. We've never been shy about telling each other what we think. With us, it's "what you see is what you get"...neither of us tolerate phonies well.

Any of you guys think your chances of success have to do with the examples around you when you were young? My folks are still madly in love like teeangers and they started dating in 1959. Both my parents' siblings and parents had bad or failed marriages. My folks seem to have learned a lot from bad examples. I've seen their great examples and the bad ones of most of my other relatives.

Why is 4 yrs. the magic number?

No. It has to do with really liking and respecting the other person a lot.

they don't call it 7 year itch for nothing. I know a ton of people who fell apart at 7 years plus or minus a year.

Maybe 4 is the new 7 (like 40 is the new 30)

A guy comes flying down the street and locks up the brakes as he skids across the front lawn. He kicks open the door and yells to his wife, "honey. I just won the lottery, start packing."
She says, 'what should I pack, for warm or cold climate?"
he says "pack all of it b!tch, you're outa here!"

Seriously, One night I saw a girl standing across the room and told my best friend that she's the one, I'm gonna marry her.
he laughed and said i was full of it.
It took me six months to get to know her and finally get a date, we've been married for 15 years.
I was so sure of it that I knew the first time I saw her, even from a distance.

Another thing, make sure that both of you are happy as is. None of this, "I'm sure he/she will change" BS. You have to love the other person, all or nothing. Because you're already set in your ways, and the only change she's making is losing interest in sex.:p

I spent my childhood a Methodist, and pretty much quit going to church in high school. My wife grew up in a big Catholic family, and was a dedicated church-goer. We had the same morals, and the same beliefs, I just wasn't a Catholic (her grandma didn't like that:)). Before we married, I explained to her that she had to accept the fact that I probably would not become a Catholic, and that if she could not then we shouldn't be getting married. It was something she was ok with, and it never caused any trouble. It's important to walk through potential stumbling blocks BEFORE you marry. A lot of people miss that before part.

A few years after we married, I decided that I liked what I had experienced going to church with her, and became a Catholic on my own accord.

Just playin' the odds!

I think 4 is the new 7. Part of living in the "microwave" era. Shorter attention spans and everything is sped up.