Baptist minister found dead from auto-erotic mishap

DanL911sc · 10-09-2007, 10:09 AM

OCTOBER 8--An Alabama minister who died in June of "accidental mechanical asphyxia" was found hogtied and wearing two complete wet suits, including a face mask, diving gloves and slippers, rubberized underwear, and a head mask, according to an autopsy report. Investigators determined that Rev. Gary Aldridge's death was not caused by foul play and that the 51-year-old pastor of Montgomery's Thorington Road Baptist Church was alone in his home at the time he died (while apparently in the midst of some autoerotic undertaking). While the Montgomery Advertiser, which first obtained the autopsy records, reported on Aldridge's two wet suits, the family newspaper chose not to mention what police discovered inside the minister's rubber briefs. Aldridge served as the church's pastor for 16 years. Immediately following his death, church officials issued a press release asking community members to "please refrain from speculation" about what led to Aldridge's demise, adding that, "we will begin the healing process under the strong arm of our Savior, Jesus Christ." (5 pages)

sand_man · 10-09-2007, 10:15 AM

frogger · 10-09-2007, 10:24 AM

From the autopsy report:

Clothing/Personal Effects:

Clothing: The decedent was received wearing two (2) wet suits, one scuba diving mask, one pair of diving gloves, one pair of slippers, one pair of rubber underwear, two (2) ties, five (5) belts, eleven (11) straps

Personal effects: One yellow metal ring intact on left ring finder, one dildo.

Hallelujah!

widebody911 · widebody911's Garage

I guess he wanted to speed up the 'second coming'

gassy · 10-09-2007, 10:31 AM

You're only supposed to use one tie--that's where he went wrong.

legion · 10-09-2007, 10:33 AM

While this is funny, I give it five more minutes until this becomes a Christianity-bashing thread.

frogger · 10-09-2007, 10:35 AM

I took my subtle jab ten minutes ago.

stevepaa · 10-09-2007, 10:37 AM

I must be getting too old. I have no clue what in the world he could have been doing.

Please don't explain it.

onewhippedpuppy · 10-09-2007, 10:37 AM

Really, you can't make this stuff up.

DanL911sc · 10-09-2007, 10:43 AM

Hmm... I should have been clearer. This started out as a Christianity bashing thread.

john walker's workshop · 10-09-2007, 10:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by legion

While this is funny, I give it five more minutes until this becomes a Christianity-bashing thread.

hey, even xtians need love. i guess he couldn't find a good xtian female, so what can a guy do?

NICKG · 10-09-2007, 10:49 AM

wwjt?

DanL911sc · 10-09-2007, 10:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NICKG

wwjt?

What Would Jesus Try..???

Nostril Cheese · 10-09-2007, 11:04 AM

Imagine how many problems would be solved if the church simply said "whacking it is ok"....

sjf911 · sjf911's Garage

Excuse my ignorance, but why would you put a condom on a dildo? Was he really alone or was he sharing the dildo with someone else?

kstar · 10-09-2007, 11:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sjf911

Excuse my ignorance, but why would you put a condom on a dildo? Was he really alone or was he sharing the dildo with someone else?

There's no report of anyone else being there, so perhaps he had an imaginary friend?

Best,

Kurt

M.D. Holloway · 10-09-2007, 11:16 AM

at least they didn't find a young boy in the wetsuit with him...

john walker's workshop · 10-09-2007, 11:17 AM

praise the lord and pass the vaseline!

stealthn · 10-09-2007, 11:24 AM

Each to their own, but the real question is how do you hogtie yourself??

VINMAN · 10-09-2007, 01:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stealthn

Each to their own, but the real question is how do you hogtie yourself??

First, get a 5 ft length of 1/4 rope, tie a figure 8 knot on one end, then you......

oh, never mind..........