Had to check Dad into hospice today
 

Too many system failures going on at one time. Could we have kept him alive? Oh yeah if we hooked him up on every machine in the hospital. We just lost Mom in December, now him and I will be an orphan. At least we moved back home a year ago so we could be with them both. We just didn't think all this would happen so soon. My sister and I made the decision to let him go in peace and with his privacy and dignity. He would have wanted it that way. It was the hardest yet easiest decision I have ever made. Do I want to see him go? No. Would I want to be a living lab experiment? Not on your life. Neither would he. He was a proud, hard working man, WW II vet, and gave up things for himself so his kids could prosper. My Dad, my hero, my mentor. Saying goodbye is never easy. I told him that I loved him and that he was the best Dad any man could ever ask for.

Now we just wait for his great getting up morning.

I think I am on the outside edge of what I am capable of emotionally handling. I have lost a friend or loved one every 2 1/2 months for a year now. I just feel numb to it now, like combat.

I'm very sorry to hear this.

At least you got to help him go more with his wishes.

Sorry to hear, but sounds like you're doing the right thing. But remember, you're never an orphan. Your parents are always a part of you. And you carry them forward.

It seems crappy now but no feeling is final.

A good son, a kind man, what more could a Father want,
I'm sure he is quite proud of you both..
Hope you see the some Sunshine soon.

Rika

I have no doubts about it being the right thing to do. Getting there was the toughest part. An orphan? Well I DO have you guys.

Music to his ears...any mans ear. We should all be so fortunate.

I hope I made him proud in the end. It was not always that way. I'm a child of the 60's and we had our falling outs.

at least you haven't lost your sense of humor ;)

Sorry to hear this, may he find comfort.

Having lost some friends and family over the last few years, I recently realized how those that were sick or aged had reached a point of peace and contentment with their impending demise. It's almost as if WE are the selfish ones who do not want to let them go. I'm sure He is very proud to have raised a son and daughter that respected him so much to do what you have done.

I know I have posted this before, but "A life is like the flickering flame of a candle, eventually extinguished. But a soul is like a star, glowing forever, infinite."

Prayers to your Dad, Sis and your family Targa.

harsh, hope they keep him comfortable. I could never work hospice full time, though I have seen many hospice patients

Thanks to all of you. Strange to think that I could find such consolation in people I have never seen. Yet to me you all seem like old friends.

Thank you all for being here for me.

The people I met with today seemed to see it as a ministry, I have never met such gentle people.

Sorry to hear this. We lost my parents about 16/17 years ago. It gets better with time but takes a while. You never forget but sometimes you reach for the phone and realize that you cannot call them anymore.

Spend time with him. When he is not here any longer you will be happy you did.

"A life is like the flickering flame of a candle, eventually extinguished. But a soul is like a star, glowing forever, infinite."

If you don't mind, I think I will be using that statement soon.

I intend to. I cancelled two shows for this weekend already. My drummer just lost his Dad too, they understand.

Like I say, I would not be equal to the task. I know a few of them, like angels, seriously

yes angels...that's good. I agree.

At a loss for words right now. i hope you find some peace and better times ahead.

So hard to lose the people we love. Deepest sympathies.

My mom "went through" hospice...my sympathy to you. You are right..people who do this are angels.

targa911S:
"I told him that I loved him and that he was the best Dad any man could ever ask for. "
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Whew!
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~~~
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Quote:
Originally Posted by targa911S
I told him that I loved him and that he was the best Dad any man could ever ask for.
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Seahawk:
"Music to his ears...any mans ear. We should all be so fortunate."
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Amen, brother.
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~~~
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targa911S:
"The people I met with today seemed to see it as a ministry, I have never met such gentle people."
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When I have been in the presence of people who are that gentle, like you say, I can feel the power of their Humility. An awesome experience of safety - a Holy experience, for sure.
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~~~
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God Bless wholesome manhood.
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No problem. Actually, I got it from an 1870's "autograph album" that I bought as a prop for a "period"film I was working on (apparently autograph albums were quite the rage before photo albums) It would be similar to signing a yearbook.

It was from a high school girl in Minnesota, and it was amazing to read the poetry and literature that would be quoted in the enteries (I'm not sure where that quote came from, but it always jumps out at me). Much more focused on the arts back then than we are today. Anyway, hang in there.

You would know well. Thank you Moses, I know you are dealing with your own pain as well.

"God Bless wholesome manhood."

It's how he taught me to be.

One other thing. If you do not have any videos of your Father, pls take some now. There will come a time when you try to remember what his voice was like and if you have some recordings or video that helps.

I have one video tape of my Father talking, thats it...

targa911s,
Sorry to hear you going through such a tough time.
It is hard to believe that we all have to go through this pain when we loose things.
I lost my dad in 2004 and we did home hospice and he passed in his bedroom.

Time helps. And stay busy...........

Sorry to hear about your father. To a certain degree, we shouldn't be surprised about stuff like this. After all, we all wish our loved ones to live to a "ripe old age." But it certainly doesn't make it any easier when that time comes, does it?

I don't know if time helps, as others have said. I certainly still miss my grandparents, and my wife's grandfather. All the time. But it certainly makes it a little bit easier knowing that I spent as much time with them as I could while they were still around.

Deepest sympathies man....Many of us have joined a club that you are about to be a member. It's out of your hands now. Relish the memories as they will never fade.

That was among the most moving posts I have read around here. Sorry to hear this.

My sympathies are extended to you also. My g/f is a hospice nurse, and imo they are simply the best at helping folks pass to the "other side", and your dad is in good hands. You are a good son, and I'm sure your dad is proud...take care of yourself and the family.

I just wanted to express my condolences and say it sounds like you seem to be as well prepared as one can be for this journey.

Les

my wife's father is nearing that point now and i feel for you. it's a hard thing.

your initial post was beautiful btw. i hope my son feels the same way one day.

Damn t-bird - you got me choked up this morning. We lost my mother in law almost a year ago today. The year before that we lost my father in law. Both wonderful people.

I hope my son feels the same way too some day.

Hang in there buddy - we are here for you

Dad passed over this morning at 1 a.m.

Rest in Peace big buddy.

Thought I was done crying for a while but here I go again.

So sorry for your loss.

I just read this thread for the first time. Mt dad died on July 4. My experience was exactly as your first few posts. It does get better. He will always be with you.

My thoughts are with you. So sorry for your loss.
Christian.

If it is any consolation:

Near the end of my Mothers life (she has struggled against cancer for over a year) my Dad called and said that I need to get home, that he wanted me there. Mom was in bad shape. I was a young Navy LT flying test at Patuxent River. I caught the first plan out of DC.

She died before my plane landed. My father met me at the airport and we both cried all the way home...my Father is a veteran of two wars, one of the only really smart, humble people I have ever known. The loss of Arden nearly shattered him.

Near the end of the ride home we made a pact...that we would celebrate her life, the good and the bad, that we would acknowledge all she meant to us, that we would welcome the memories of her life. Arden's wake was a riot of memory and laughter. We may have been hiding tears, but we were celebrating her life, not her death.

Life is fraught with peril...what my Dad and I came to grips with is that we got to know and love a remarkable woman. While I never met your Father, I think you understand the sentiment.

Seventeen years later I still miss her and think about her all the time, as you will your Father all the rest of your life. My experience is that it is better we remember, that we welcome their presense.

All the best in the coming days. May you find strength.

Glad you got to say it.

Der's a better day a comin',
Fare thee well, fare thee well
Yes der's a better day a comin',
Fare thee well, fare thee well

In dat great gettin' up mornin',
Fare thee well, fare thee well
In dat great gettin' up mornin',
Fare thee well, fare thee well