Girls are confusing for a reason

rammstein · 10-30-2007, 10:09 AM

If I (and I expect most men) figured out women by 8th grade, the world population would double in a year.

Sure, girls will tell you that they wanted sex back then, but I don't think they understand that I had a boner about 18 hours a day. Now its down to about 12 hours

.

So god (or evolution) decided to make girls like a 20 sided rubix cube. By the time that you figure it out, you are really tired and old.

dd74 · 10-30-2007, 10:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rammstein

So god (or evolution) decided to make girls like a 20 sided rubix cube. By the time that you figure it out, you are really tired and old.

They all want the same thing - attention.

rammstein · 10-30-2007, 10:20 AM

Oftentimes it seems my body's main goal is to repopulate a dying planet or something. I think I am having issues today.

sammyg2 · 10-30-2007, 10:26 AM

All it takes to make most women happy is a little more.. just a little more....

KFC911 · 10-30-2007, 10:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rammstein

If I (and I expect most men) figured out women by 8th grade....

Once upon a time, a man figured out a woman

It's a fairy tail...I (and every man I know) still haven't figure them out...

Chocaholic · 10-30-2007, 10:38 AM

God gave a man one wish.

He asked for a bridge to Hawaii, since he didn't like to fly.

God said "are you nuts??? pick something else."

"Ok...help me understand women"

God replied, "do you want that bridge to have 2 lanes, or 4?"

scottmandue · 10-30-2007, 10:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rammstein

So god (or evolution) decided to make girls like a 20 sided rubix cube. By the time that you figure it out, you are really tired and old.

What? You figured them out?

FOR GOSH SAKES MAN WRIGHT A BOOK, YOU WILL BE RICH BEYOND YOUR WILDEST DREAMS!!!

Whenever I use that phrase my buddy Tom replies "I don't know... I have some pretty wild dreams."

But yeah... here I am fifty years old and when I am out with a lady I still think and act like a fourteen year old. WTF is up with that?

Noah930 · Noah930's Garage

Quote:

Originally Posted by rammstein

I had a boner about 18 hours a day. Now its down to about 12 hours

.

For a moment, I thought you might be exaggerating. Then I realized you live in Miami.

Nostril Cheese · 10-30-2007, 10:46 AM

Can you imagine how great life would be if we didnt like women?

certianly cheaper...

sammyg2 · 10-30-2007, 10:48 AM

A friend of mine has a saying, "if my dad had cut my balls off when I was born I'd be a rich, happy man right now".
Scary thing is, I think he means it.

rammstein · 10-30-2007, 10:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Noah930

For a moment, I thought you might be exaggerating. Then I realized you live in Miami.

Yeah, its hard to be around here sometimes.

Whoops- a pun!

RoninLB · 10-30-2007, 11:00 AM

they want to love the "boy" and respect the man.

easiest to deal with is a female that has younger and older siblings.

pwd72s · 10-30-2007, 11:00 AM

A pool hustler, who shall remain nameless here, said: "I should just find a woman I hate every 5 years, then buy her a house."

I forget how many times he'd been married...

Noah930 · Noah930's Garage

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nostril Cheese

Can you imagine how great life would be if we didnt like women?

certianly cheaper...

I grew up in Hollywood/West Hollywood. No stretch of my imagination to see what life would be like if the female gender wasn't the subject of (my) male desire. Not that there's anything wrong with that...

Oh yeah, dunno if life would necessarily be any cheaper, though.

Dennis Kalma · Dennis Kalma's Garage

I have been trying to figure women out for my entire life.

The main thing that puzzles me is why women don't seem to be able to figure out that if they do just one thing with reasonable imitation of enthusiasm and creativity for about 30 minutes per day, us simple men will a) be happy with them and b) not bug them about much else as we will be in the garage playing with our toys the rest of the time.

I guess I have landed on sort of a filtering model for women. Women percieve the world through a distorting filter with a random element. Men are much simpler, we just have simple pass/no pass filter....

Sigh,

Dennis

Porsche-O-Phile · Porsche-O-Phile's Garage

Guys want sex. Women want money (and by extension, security).

Women are evil, men are stupid.

That pretty much sums it up for me.

M.D. Holloway · 10-30-2007, 11:48 AM

If there was a third (legal & moral) option, the situation would be much much different!

rammstein · 10-30-2007, 11:54 AM

One thing seems certain- we all actually agree on this one topic- that topic being that girls are confusing, and the reason is to prevent over-population.

If this is true, I would like credit for finding the ONE issue in existance that the OT board can agree on.

M.D. Holloway · 10-30-2007, 12:00 PM

We argee that they are a riddle with no answer but even the Grid Girl thread brough controversy - not everyone has the same taste in the softer sex.

I would have to agree with you concerning a universal truth...

livi · 10-30-2007, 12:01 PM

Right.

Our species, the only one with a brain complex enough to having us constantly trying to 'figure things out'. This mail-female debate for instans, is a typical example of a fundamental principal evolutionary 'strategy'. Brought forth during eons of 'trial and error' in the gene pools of all species on Earth. Or by God, for them who prefers that logic.

An absolute majority of higher species have developed the concept of randomly merging the chromosomes (genes) from two individuals. Reason for this being, above all, to minimize the impact of random gene errors and ultimately defect offspring.

The 'strategy' involves the element of two different kinds of gene transportation. One being the egg, the other the sperms. This small asymmetry has an enormous impact on what 'tactics' the bearer will gain most from in terms of reproducing.

The bearer of the egg has invested a lot in that gene ship. It is big and carries an on board energy supply. They are often in singular or at least just a few. The bearer, thus, has a lot invested and has 'put all her eggs in one basket', so to speak. This treasure has to be protected at all costs. It is absolutely crucial she choose her mate very carefully. Once she has mated with him there is no return. She have to spend a long time caring for and protecting her offspring. She needs to choose a mate that stays with her, protect her and her offspring and brings home all the necessary comodities. She can not risk him flying off mating with others or spending his resourses on the female competition. She basically need a mate with good, strong genes to procure a healthy offspring and a mate that fix everything that needs fixing and stays home.

She also needs to look after her place in the female pecking order. She can not afford to look anything but her best as that would not land her any good, healthy offers to begin with and once stuck with the offspring she will risk loosing her mate to the competition.

That is basically the grounds for female behavior and thinking. Now, us men, with our free flying loads of small gene ships, ready to shoot at will, mating with yet another candidate.....we have a very different strategy (behaviour and thinking)..as you all know..