Irrational behavior from expecting father.

[GO DAWG GO]

Lets see if I can tell you less than experienced men what this biz is all about.

First, you wait for hours...Your wife is reminding you that it is going to hurt unless she gets an Epidural (Livi is that spelled correctly)?. Then as time passes veeerrryyy ssloowlly. Her vocabulary begins to change to epithets and how I should be the one experiencing this..(I am, she just doesn't know how miserable it is). The air in the room begins to change to an unfamiliar odor..Like pancake syrup and urine.( I felt like saying "And what the hell is that smell!) Then to the delight you, the seen changes from something out of the movie Alien and a Saturn five liftoff. Grunts and groans like fuel pumps opening on a rocket. uncontrolled discharges of weird looking fluids green stuff... gag! Skin being distorted and stretched Sigourney Weaver would be impressed.

My experienced mother in law is even making grunts and groans!

Get this...Then I see the crown of my sons head begin to appear. Holy smokes! I'm thinking..His head looks like it could only be 2 inches in diameter...Next thing..What the hell is he doing with a fro? (I'm a white guy). To make matters worse, the doc gets out his fricken K-bar fighting knife and slits her open wider to literally yank the kid out by his head. To focus on mom for a second she is really pissed at me now.. Looks like a obsessed Linda Blair..."Bob you bastard"...(no..at the moment the little guy looks like the B word).

Doctor does a big yank and out comes little Bob with an elongated head...1 inch radius on one side and its about 6 inches long.. The poor little fellas head got extruded from a die. (your seriously have to see this!)

Then..then comes the lime green umbilical cord..wow! what piece of cable that is. Grasshopper green color. The doc gives you a pair of fricken dikes to cut it. "This thing is as hard as a rock"...I'm thinking "I got a tough one over here.. hey doc, give me your Marine Corp fighting knife" anyway I was glad that little Bob didn't have a fro..It was a little disconcerting there for a while.

Then the aftermath...holy sh_t That was in there too. Remember that weird smell..Oh gawd... coupled with this alien looking egg plant colored scrotum bagly membrane and a wife you would bet will never like you again. Your feelings toward a certain thing has changed FOREVER

Anyway..After feeling like blowing some cookies and fainting..I was happy to see my blonde son with a round head after a few hours.

Big Bob

[mikester]

Well, that was pleasant...

I was there for my son's birth and I wouldn't change it and if we end up in that situation again I will probably be in there again. My purpose? Moral support and not to look.

Guys - I'm telling you - Don't look. Girls just do not understand the damage looking at what is coming out of their vagina can do to a man. It 'changes' you for a long time and takes some time to get past before you can plant your face in the pie again.

So, Guys don't look and girls - don't make us look.

I feel like I was smart (except that I looked which was dumb) because I insisted that she have her closest friends there to support her as well as me (the hospital allowed it).

It worked out well and made the experience very good for her (that and the epidural).

I would not have minded totally sitting in the waiting room taking a nap but in the end I am happy that I did not. I was there for the first moments of my son's life outside the womb. He had some very minor complications that mad the neonatal folks have to move quickly in the very beginning to make sure he was breathing and getting oxygen but it was quick (though likely the longest 90 seconds of my life up to that point). Had I not been there I would not have been able to help my wife through those moments with my presence next to our son.

So...to each their own.

[peppy]

I was there for my twins and I would not have missed it for anything, I actually never missed a doctors appointment.

I did get her a bit upset when I took a picture of the placenta.

[alf]

What kind of car was it? Any mods?

[speeder]

Probably a Volvo wagon. Poor, henpecked twat...

[Porsche-O-Phile]

One of my very good friends' wives is an L&D (labor & delivery) RN. The stories she's told me were enough to nearly make me pass out, and I've got a pretty strong stomach. And she looks at this stuff every day.

I swear I have no interest - NONE - in ever putting my wife through that kind of hell or misery. If even 5% of what I've been told was true, it's so traumatizing that I think it'd be a form of abuse to put someone through that, especially someone I care about.

[oldE]

27 years ago, my wife and I had taken Natural Childbirth classes in preparation for the birth of our first. One of the things they repeated several times was the rule-of-thumb: first deliveries usually take 16 hours from the onset of labor.

My wife was due on Labor Day (how cliche), so when my brother-in-law tracked me down early in the morning on August 14 and suggested, "If you don't have anything else to do, today, you might want to go up to the hospital." I didn't panic, reasoning I had lots of time to finish the route (regular driver was away on vacation, I was the only person available to do 'deliveries'. So that is what I did.

I made it to the hospital at 5PM and was told, "She could go at ay time!" I remember it was a fantastic, sunny day and the delivery room was a double-sized area with lots of windows, which were opened to the light breeze and the sound of birds in the trees.

The only hitch was when the Doc said, "Push!" and I did, bracing my wife's shoulders. That is when we discovered no one had set the brakes on the delivery table!

My son was born a few minutes after 6 on one of the best days of my life. Total elapsed time from the time her water broke to baby's cries: 13 hours. Oh well, it's an average, I guess.

Les

[scottmandue]

WOW... you mean men and women think differently and have different values about things and situations?
What an amazing breakthrough! Someone should write a book! Quick, lets arrange a government study!

Okay so the guys priorities were out of whack... but as others have said he did the logical thing... maybe not the right thing but we boys get in trouble so often for this sort of thing is it really that surprising?

[gassy]

I've been witness to the births of all 3 of my children--the first two vaginally, crapping on the table and all. A mirror in place so i could see the birth yet still hold my wife's hand... My third child was C section and they let me watch them pull Fen out--amazing. Lots of blood, yeah, but it didn't bother me.

[Seahawk]

Originally Posted by Moses

You can tell more about a womans character by her behavior in the delivery room than at any other time in her life.

I've seen some bizarre stuff to be sure. Mostly though, I'm impressed with the dignity and grace women carry through these events.

Any cathartic event is a true test of character...my wife simply affirmed what I already knew during the birth of Arden.

My one and only saddness with my son is that I deployed when he was born and I could not be there.

How anyone could sit out the birth of their child in a waiting room is a mystery to me...

[Porsche-O-Phile]

One thing is for certain - whoever can invent an artificial uterus is going to be a BILLIONAIRE overnight.

It cracks me up that the guys are always the ones trying to "out-tough-guy" one another and yet the thought of doing what "weak" little girls have done since the beginning of our species is something probably none of them could take for thirty seconds.

I wouldn't want to have a second "X" chromosome seeing what they go through. Not a chance. I respect the hell out of any woman that can suffer through the monthly cramps and all that and especially one that has been able to take having their abdomen explode in a bloody pulp to give birth, 'cause I sure as hell wouldn't be able to take it. If that means some chick is tougher than me, fine. I admit it.

The childbirth videos I saw in high school plus my friend's accounts are enough to scare the crap out of me. I don't know how people can survive that kind of trauma. I really don't.

[livi]

Admittedly, the thought of changing places with a woman in labour is well..., I have a hard time imagine it too. I mean that is a pretty big head passing threw and to think of that pain for hours and hours.. I guess they really are the stronger sex.

[sammyg2]

From what I've read, the native american (indian) women used to go off by themselves when they were ready to give birth, and returned with the child when they were done.

Women have been giving birth since the begining of our race, and for most of that time they didn't have doctors or hospitals, and the fathers were not watching. They did not see it as a beautiful experience, they did not treat it as an emotional bonding or the best day of their lives. that is a recent development. In this day of PC, getting in touch with your feminine side, trying to be deeper than the next guy, we have been brainwashed into accepting the fact that being present during the birth process is now normal and expected. It is a natural process and women are not the only animals that give birth. All female mammals do it, remember? Keeping it in perspective.

[livi]

Women liberation came creeping all across the nation... Soon us men will be expected to give birth too.

Nowadays, in Sweden, it is very much expected that the father is present during the whole delivery. However, it was not too long ago he was almost not allowed in the delivery room and afterwords the parents and child were separated initially. This is to us nowadays complete and utter nonsense. The initial period between the child and mother is absolutely essential for bonding and the childs well being. I am not sure the same goes for the father, but personally, I feel being there to experience my childrens birth was the biggest moments in my life. Perhaps that stems from a primitive, strong drive for multiplication of myself and seeing their birth is kind of a verification of that.

Off course, a guy can never be hundred per cent certain he is raising his own kids genetically speaking..

[peppy]

Livi what happens if the mother doesn't get to be with the child for several hours, like six.

[pavulon]

Originally Posted by peppy

Livi what happens if the mother doesn't get to be with the child for several hours, like six.

She's pissed for life and the child never knows the difference...but is rightfully annoyed each time the subject comes up....again.

[livi]

Originally Posted by peppy

Livi what happens if the mother doesn't get to be with the child for several hours, like six.

No worries. I think it is more complicated than counting hours or days. But there are several studies showing the importance of physical contact between baby and parent. Not only during the neonatal period but all threw the pre school years. Well, actually, I believe that goes for adults too..