DARISC, Different locales and municipalities have their own definitions of assault within the U.S., some of which have shocked me when I heard them. In Mpls., MN., (one of the PC capitals of the world), you can "assault" someone w/o actually touching them. Yes, it's true; thanks to a revision in domestic violence laws there, yelling at your biznatch in an argument can be considered 5th degree assault. :eek:

In New York City, unless they have changed it recently, you can punch someone in the face and if it does not require medical treatment it is not assault. :confused:

What is it, you might ask? "Harrasment". I schit you not. I could not believe this one when I heard it. (Never fought in NYC, but have come close).

The bottom line is that in order for the law to affect you, you need a cop willing to arrest and book you for a crime, and either an arraignment or for the city atty. to decide to prosecute it. I socked a guy once about 10 years ago in LA and he tried his best to get me charged, (it was part of a larger dispute and he wanted to use the charge as leverage), but the city atty. wasn't interested after hearing both of our sides in an informal meeting at his office. (One at a time we went in and told our side). It was almost identical to the story that started this thread, he had raised his hands to me for not the first time and I taught him "a lesson that he'll never remember" as the old saying goes. He was an agent of my landlord at the time, so it kind of dovetails w/ another thread on the board right now.

Anywho... try to avoid fighting, but if you are justified you will probably be alright legally. We have some real scared people on here re: getting sued, etc... :cool:

Very generally, assault is when you put someone in fear (don't need to touch them). Battery is when you actually touch them.

Yeah, that's what the charges were...... "assault and battery". ;) I remember now.

True & that is the common law definition, but as the post above notes, many states have changed the definition. In Oregon, you have to touch the other person for it to be assault & there are 4 or 5 degrees of it.

Always good to whip out a law book before whaling on somebody...

Actually, one I've always wanted to try is to say to a friend when we are hassled "Now don't kill him - remember how much that lawyer cost last time."

Found it:

German Pimp Slap

http://www.spikedhumor.com/articles/126183/An-Interrupted-German-Mafia-Businessman.html

Man, that hand hits ya it's like a flesh brick -

sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do
a mullet and mustache... that's just askin' for it :D

Mine had more of a wind-up or back-swing, and I hit him harder. Otherwise pretty similar.

Speeder,
My sincere condolences on the impending loss of your dog. I posted last August about doing the same for my best friend, Dudley. He was a 14 year old black labrador. I actually went to the vet's two times previously knowing they would tell me to have him put down...they sent me home with more medications.

Finally, I just had to do it. I stayed with him all the way to the end holding his head and telling him what a good boy he was. I know he understood my tone was terribly sad but he did not try to get up he just licked my hand. I agree you should stay with them to the end. After he was gone I stayed with him awhile. Silly? Yeah, to some I guess but I felt and still am heartbroken. I have a younger 4 year old blonde lab, Sooner, that I now dote over as much as I did Dudley. He certainly hasn't replaced Dudley, no dog will, but Sooner gets the royal treatment everyday. I think he knows its since his bud, Dudley has been gone. Best to you.

P.S. Stop dealing with A-Holes on days you feel mad or sad. Second thought, stop dealing with them across the board!

I think I figured it out. The guy you slapped was WI Widebody! If you can provide proof of this contributions will flow in like the surge from Katrina!

I didn't read though these remarks, but I'm guessing many of you guys congratulated Speeder for hitting someone. Pretty pathetic. Maybe you guys would get along better with other junior high school kids.

Did you read the original story, Superman? What would you have done? Just curious.

Cry?

we have a winner! Laneco, you're spot on. like I started saying years ago (and you can quote me on this):

"The day this country started its long slide into hell was the day it became illegal to slap a man who desperately needed it"

there. now it's official :D

Hmm, passing judegement w/o reading the posts. Nice.

I actually found this discussion pretty decent as a whole -

I didn't read though these remarks, but I'm guessing many of you guys congratulated Speeder for hitting someone. Pretty pathetic. Maybe you guys would get along better with other junior high school kids.

OK, old man. Go back to work now.

Pretty ignorant post; but you're right!

We can't all be super heros like you Sup. :rolleyes:

and BTW, he didn't just 'hit' someone; he beeOtch slapped the dude!

Rob, the correct terminology is "he applied the pimp hand!":D

OK, I had that coming!

I see you got the "known" fixed though?