How important is physical attraction in a relationship?

[livi]

Plenty threads on love and such lately. I have never come to fully understand what lay the foundation for a strong relationship. One of the most important factors IMO must be physical attraction. Some in the know even claim it is THE most important piece. Good friendship is invaluable of course, but if the physical attraction is missing a good bit of the passion and magnetism is lost. Note I use the term physical attraction - not sexual ditto. It does not have to be hard core fancy hanky panky. Lusting after soft hugs and kissing is a major part.

In summary, I believe, if you no longer feel drawn to your partner physically, the relationship has lost a very important - if not most important- factor. Sure, many people claim, as they grow old, the physical attraction subsides a long with interest for sexual activities, but I donīt buy it all out. If you donīt even feel like holding your partner close to you anymore, it canīt be that good.

So, whats your take on this? Is sex the glue that holds people together?

[red-beard]

Not so much glue, more like tongue and groove...

It is more than that, it has to be both ways. Of course to make something really work, there has to be more than just animal magnetism. Your values have to match. This might be easier in many countries, where the society values do not vary a lot. With the mix of cultures here, it is extremely important to find someone with the same values.

[cashflyer]

Originally Posted by livi

One of the most important factors IMO must be physical attraction.

+1

And good fluffing skills.

[jhynesrockmtn]

Red Beard is right. Hey how's it going? Drove Wayne's car yesterday during a brief respite in our constant snow/rain deluge.

I was married for a long time, married too young and naive and the relationship lacked greatly on the physical side. I didn't realize what a toll that took on me over time. I stayed for the wrong reasons, and we had kids. They are my life and I wouldn't trade them and therefore the relationship for anything. We got along great as parents/friends.

We ultimately split though and my GF over the last year is totally different. Very physical. The intimacy and sex are fantastic. I'd kind of given up on that but experiencing that side of a relationship has been an awakening. But, the more I'm around her, her life outside of our relationship is a bit of a mess. I'm too old to take on a project who doesn't work, has no friends outside of us, etc.

I guess my point is it can start as friends or strong physical attraction/good sex. You must have both ultimately too sustain something along with shared values and goals. You don't have to do everything together but it helps if one is active, the other isn't a couch potato, etc.

I have no idea if the perfect woman exists for me. So far I've kind of had two extremes in longer term relationships. I'm about to find out.............

[gchappel]

After 25+ years of marriage I believe physical attraction- whatever that may be- is like kindling. You absolutely need it to get the fire going, but after that it makes little long term additions to the flames. Sure, even after years, attraction gives a couple of hot spots and throws off some sparks- but adds little to the glowing embers of love and a wonderful relationship.
One night stands are a whole different bucket of fish!
Gary

[VINMAN]

In the words of Ron White; You can get a face lift, new boobs, tummy tuck. etc, etc.... But, you cant fix stupid!

[Flatbutt1]

Loving an unattractive woman just takes to much energy.

[nostatic]

if you don't want to hit it....you won't.

and you'll find one you do. want to hit that is.

[speeder]

I just can't imagine being in an exclusive, committed relationship with someone whom you are not physically attracted to. Relationships take plenty of effort and commitment even when you are in love, how can you be in love w/o sexual attraction? You can love someone, you can respect them, you can be their best friend, but in love? I can't imagine it.

If I could flip that switch, (like a lot of women can), I'd be on EZ street w/ some rich broad that I'm not attracted to.

[MMARSH]

For me, it's very important. There is a certain look that I like and in the future I will only date those who match that look. I have found that when I've dated girls who were attractive but not the look that I really like, my eye tends to stray way to much, regardless of how much I like the person. When dating my idea of what's hot. I only have eyes for them and find I a much more affectionate towards them.

P.S. I love a women who knows how to walk.

[the]

For a man, it's very important.

For a woman . . . not as much, there are other criteria that are much, much more impt.

[nostatic]

Originally Posted by the

For a woman . . . not as much, there are other criteria that are much, much more impt.

like $$$?

[70SATMan]

20 yrs I'm still hittin it! If I wasn't still physically attracted I'd probably be spending more time on OT.......ummmm.....welll.....that didn't come out right.

[Buckterrier]

Originally Posted by livi

Plenty threads on love and such lately. I have never come to fully understand what lay the foundation for a strong relationship. One of the most important factors IMO must be physical attraction. So, whats your take on this? Is sex the glue that holds people together?

So are fat ugly people physically attracted to one another. Or skinny ugly people as far as that's concerned.
That aside I agree 110%.

[cab83_750]

Hmmm......

If I were blind, I do not think I can pick and choose Female A from a group of females. Therefore, I think, subconciously, physical image play the primary factor. This would probably explain intra-racial attraction. From there, one would progress from physical to possibly mental, intelligence, sexual, common background, age, culture, enthinicity, etc.

One may deny physical attraction, deny that they have built-in physical preference........but visual selection is our 1st mechanism of selection.

I have not heard or read anyone falling in love because of the other partner's voice, smell, etc.

I am no expert, but the above is my opinion.

[red-beard]

Originally Posted by the

For a man, it's very important.

For a woman . . . not as much, there are other criteria that are much, much more impt.

Originally Posted by nostatic

like $$$?

Well, it is usually related to a large bulge in the pants.















...the wallet...

[nostatic]

Some fellas look at the eyes
Some fellas look at the nose
Some fellas look at the size
Some fellas look at the clothes
I don't care if her eyes are red
I don't care if her nose is long
I don't care if she's underfed
I don't care if her clothes are worn
First I look at the purse!
Some fellas like the smiles they wear
Some fellas like the legs that's all
Some fellas like the style of their hair
Want their waist to be small.
I don't care if their legs are thin
I don't care if their teeth are big
I don't care if their hair's a wig
Why waste time lookin' at the waistline?
First I look at the purse!
A woman can be fat as can be,
kisses sweet as honey
But that don't mean a thing to me
If you ain't got no money
If the purse is fat....that's where it's at.
Some fellas like the way they walk
The way they swing and sway
Some fellas like the way they talk
Dig the things they say.
I don't care if they wobble like a...
or talk with a lisp
I still think I'm a good lover
if the dollar bills are crisp
First I look at the purse!
First I look at the purse!
First I look at the purse!
First I look at the purse!
I don't care if you got yourself a wrap
all I want is your pretty green cash
Bought me a suit, bought me a car
Want me to look like a hollywood star
Money, (Money!) I want money (Money!)
Baby, ain't no "why", baby (Money!)
I need money!
First I look at the purse!
First I look at the purse!
First I look at the purse!
First I look at the purse!

[Sapporo Guy]

"Attraction isn't a Choice" by David D. Angelo ... lolo

You have nano-seconds to decide if you talk that person in the first place or not. Why, yes, of course, it's their wonderful personality, great bantering skills, their people'ness, their shared interest ... come on girls wake up!

Topic is physical attraction
So, I say +1 being important. However, strongly agree that after the urge many more things become even more important.

And agree, that if you're not satisfied at home, you will wander.
"never leave the dog out at night"
Unless, ... viagra doesn't help. for the pure injection side of thigns.
hugs, kisses, touch of skin, are important ... I especially enjoy the finer side of our species.

I also think that "fit" is important. Physically speaking. Also, on the mental side if your other has some "kinks" then those should "fit" too to some degree. If not, you will be found wanting.

We as animals are given certain instruments to propogate are species and fortunately they are not only limited to only mating purposes. I think that we are the only species that actively "mate" for non-mating reasons.

[HardDrive]

Its important, but it sure as hell does not make a marriage. I think a lot the marriages that wash out after only 2-3 years were simply based on sex.

11 years married, and I think my wife is very sexy. If I were less of a gentleman, I would tell you what we did after we put our daughter in bed last....and this morning....

[speeder]

The bigger the waistband, the deeper the quicksand. First I look at the purse...