I got out of my car and threated someone today.

[HardDrive]

I feel badly about something I did today. A guy did something very minor, ill mannered, but still minor in traffic today. He stopped behind me at a stop sign after the incident, and I yelled at him (Everyones windows were down, it was 80 degrees today). He shouted something back, and I lost it. I turned the car off, got out and went and shouted right at the this scared college kid that I was going to beat the piss out of him. I was right at his car window. Just about every other word was the F bomb. I was a lot bigger than he was.

I feel embarassed, and stupid, and angry at myself.

It is god damn dumb getting out of your car these days and shouting at some one. The person could be armed. Moreover, my response was about 1000% more than was nessecary.

I have spent the past 8 months of my life trying to change who I am as a person, and part of this has been an effort of not be angry, especially with my wife and daughter. I have had some success, and I feel good about it. But to see the person I was today. Makes me ****** sick

Sorry for the Mea Cupla....

[Jared at Pelican Parts]

It happens to all of us. Just think about getting home to your wife and daughter next time.

[speeder]

Figure out what you are angry about, (it's not that other driver), and try to change it. That's the only solution. Just my opinion, but I have a bit of experience w/ this problem.

[tabs]

U should hear me rant and rave when I try and get my money out of Pay Pal and can't...

Anyway..the only advice I can give is to go with how you feel. Think of you emotions as a valve the more you restrict them the more volitile you become, because they become pent up. The more you try to control your emotions the more explosive you become. The idea is to go with your feelings and release anger a little bit at a time when you feel it, so that a minor issue won't become a big one.

Now Grasshopper.....

You will be surprised how much control you have over what you do once you give up trying to control your emotions. It is such a paradox.

[tabs]

What I suppose it all come down to Hard, is that in your upbringing mommmy and daddy didn't teach you better anger management. Don't feel so all alone everybody is fked up to some extent...except for me now...I am perfect in my imperfection.

[genrex]

HD, I put in about 150 miles/day in Seattle-area traffic, Monday - Friday.

I just try to get home in one piece. It's scary out there, and as you said, any incident can get worse fast. I have flashes of anger when I see incredible stupidity and obvious maliciousness that puts people's lives at risk (often happens multiple times a day), and I wistfully think of how it used to be here in Seattle only 20 years ago, when we had half the traffic.. on the same roads we have today!

It's a structural problem, in my opinion, and everything else is a resultant of that. The population growth is already too much, and it's getting worse. My solution for myself, since I can't telecommute, is to move somewhere else as soon as I can. Mayberry sounds good..

[widgeon13]

I don't think this place helps the anger management problem at all, especially PPOT.

[Buckterrier]

Originally Posted by tabs

U should hear me rant and rave when I try and get my money out of Pay Pal and can't...

Anyway..the only advice I can give is to go with how you feel. Think of you emotions as a valve the more you restrict them the more volitile you become, because they become pent up. The more you try to control your emotions the more explosive you become. The idea is to go with your feelings and release anger a little bit at a time when you feel it, so that a minor issue won't become a big one.

Now Grasshopper.....

You will be surprised how much control you have over what you do once you give up trying to control your emotions. It is such a paradox.

Boy, all this time I thought you were just a blowhard . Great insight. Not to hijack but I have a friend that's dealing with a tragedy in her life. She won't get angry when she should be. So her therapist had her get hypnotized. 'Under' she went crazy with anger and didn't even realize it until she saw the video. I was trying to say the same thing as you did just last night. So I stole part of your post and sent it to her.
Anyone remember the Start Trek episode where Kirk got split in two? His good side & his bad side? He needed both but in a controlled manner. Kinda like all of us. As Tabs so eloquently said, it needs to be vented out vs. exploding out.

[onewhippedpuppy]

Serenity now! Seriously, you need a release, as most guys do. Be it golf (makes me madder), working on cars (makes me madder), or shooting stuff (that's better) find something that works to blow off steam. Putting holes in targets is something that's not only fun, but a good way to vent those frustrations, at least for me. It's been a while since I went, guess I'm due before I snap.

[Danny_Ocean]

Originally Posted by HardDrive

I turned the car off, got out and went and shouted right at the this scared college kid that I was going to beat the piss out of him. I was right at his car window. Just about every other word was the F bomb. I was a lot bigger than he was.

Don't try this in FLA! We can shoot folks for these type actions:

http://www.gunlaws.com/FloridaCastleDoctrine.htm

However, I carry this for the obviously un-armed blowhards (yuppies/businessmen):



Dirtbags get this:

[mikester]

Anger can be tough; letting it out uncontrolled rarely does any good - especially on your family.

I used to say - "It is very hard to make me angry, unless you're related to me."

For me over the past few years the thing that really boils me is customer service or getting ripped off. I had a bad incident with a Contractor and another on an appliance sales guy where I blew my top completely. It got us no where and I felt like crap - granted the contractor blew his as well and was just if not more guilty than me but that did not make me innocent. I intended from then on to handle those situations better. I had one recently where I think I handled it very well - though the other guy just shy of blew up at me. I was angry, make no mistake and I didn't hold back the anger but I did keep my emotion in check.

The anger is okay man, it's the emotion that gets you. Afterward I was still angry but I felt good about how I handled it.

[rouxroux]

Just be glad you were not in Louisiana and did this (especially to me or my wife)...We have a law that you can shoot to kill in that situation. (no, I'm not kidding).


...plus my wife is a damn good shot!

EDIT: Danny, I did not see your post...Did not know FLA had the same law. "Airweight"? down here they are silver and we call them "Lady Smiths"...nice simple little rig.

[Danny_Ocean]

Originally Posted by rouxroux

"Airweight"? down here they are silver and we call them "Lady Smiths"...nice simple little rig.

442 - Airweight
642 - Airweight Stainless
Ladysmith - smaller grips, bigger barrel (many S&W's are badged "Ladysmiths", not just the Airweights...marketing for ladies).

[vash]

i once found myself with my body half in a dcikhead's car and my lower half clamped around my motorcycle. i had the guy wrapped up in my arms and about to lay down a serious beat down. i came to my senses when i saw the fear in his eyes. i left. i was not proud.


it happened where two lanes merged to one. he forced me with his car, and if i didnt put my hand on his hood to balance myself i would have gone down. my bike was against his car, i was leaned over his hood. once we reached equilibrium, i got balanced and pulled away, and pulled over PISSED! i saw him get caught up in SF traffic and i blasted thru traffic and dove thru his window. i didnt give a care to my bike. but i didnt drop it. he almost killed me, and i wanted to kill him. glad it ended better.

[sammyg2]

Yesterday at lunchtime in Long Beach on Ocean blvd I was on the opposite side of road rage.
This guy did a road rage thing to a mini-van directly in front of me. I didn't see what started it but the mini van made a left turn in front of me and this punk in a big ford diesel 4x4 came sliding around the corner and pulled in front of the mini van and slammed on the brakes sideways across three lanes. Ocean is a big street, about 4 lanes each way. The guy jumped out of the truck, which was amazing in itself because he appeared to be only as tall as his tires on his lifted truck. compensation? sure thing.
He wasn't wearing a shirt and it was obvious that he spent allot of time in the gym, but he was still a punk. He went up to the mini van and was yelling and screaming at the driver. I was one car back from this cluster fuch so I laid on my horn big time, he turned around and flipped me off, I kept on the horn. Now it just so happens that this was right in the middle of where they run the long beach grand prix and they were in the process of setting up the track for next weekend, so there were cops all over the place directling traffic but none close enough to see what was happening. About that time the punk decided he didn't like me blowing my horn and started to head towards my truck and threaten me. Nope, homie don't play that.
I guess he got close enough to realize that i was pissed, was a whole lot bigger than he was, wasn't scared of him at all and was planning to tear him up.
At the time I was wearing my nomex work uniform and I guess it looked kind of official, plus I was at least 4 inches taller than this guy and had 75 pounds on him. I figure first impressions are important so I was yelling at the top of my lungs how I kill stupid fuchin punks for fun or something ridiculous like that.
He climbed back into his big bad pick-up truck and made a right turn at the next street.
He sure was a tough guy, wasn't he?

Now I can't say I have never been the other guy, i have. But it was a looooong time ago when I was much younger and less in control.

[Rick Lee]

I've gotten out of my car twice to yell at someone, both times while I had my signal on and was backing into a parking space, parallel parking, and both times, someone trying to sneak in the spot. Both times as soon as I exited the car and the drivers saw me, they put their hands up to apologize and backed out of there. Some folks need a little encouragement to know they're doing wrong. Another time I was backing into a spot in my Carrera in front of a crowded bar, another car tried to sneak in. The bouncer actually came outside and told the idiot to move it. He argued and the bouncer said he and his friends would not get into the bar if they tried to steal my spot. That felt good. And the bouncer even kept an eye on my car while I was there. I handed him a tip.

[Macroni]

Maybe you need to change from harddrive to softdrive. You know it was uncalled for and I do not think you are looking for forgiveness. Change is very hard. Good luck!

[DanielDudley]

I was getting verbally abused by some bikers while I was on the side of the road one day.

I was in a car dude. As far as I was concerned, they were all dead meat, so be careful what you do. It could turn on you in a heart beat. I did notice that the mouthy biker was keeping just out of my arms reach BTW.

I did my level best to be civil. This is the only way for me. Doesn't make me a pushover, just polite.

[911Rob]

Ha! You Bad.

I had a guy do that to me once too.
I casually took off my sun glasses, turned off the vehicle and got out.
He ran away.
My body language was, "man do I really have to take the time to kick the $hit outa you?"

Glad you could vent; hopefully you'll get it under control.
I had a bad habit of doing this when I was younger, but my wife broke me of it.

[speeder]

Just make sure to hit the boxing gym a few times before getting in any fights. You'd be amazed at how quickly you get worn out when you're not used to it.