Tom’s 2008 Evil-Forces-In-The-World-History Quiz!

[BRPORSCHE]

Made this quiz up for a Poli-Sci class I am taking. They teacher told us to get creative, so you might get a chuckle out of what is said.

Going to be the toughest test you will quiz you will take all day.

Tom’s 2008 Evil-Forces-In-The-World-History Quiz!

1. Even if you read a LOT of books and newspapers, you never seem to hear about any athletes or artists from western countries defecting to Communist-bloc countries. This is because:

a) Communist countries are perfect and have no defects.
b) Communist athletes and artists are superior to western ones that the Commies would simply pack ‘em up in Styrofoam and ship ‘em back to us, with huge shipping charges and no insurance.
c) In the immortal of Bob Dylan, “Look out kid, they keep it all hid.” In other words, it’s a conspiracy of silence. Media insiders say it involves jumping down a manhole, lighting up a candle, keeping a clean nose, and avoiding those who carry around a fire hose. This theory has garnered the support of a surprising number of prominent thinkers, including Michel Foucault, Noam Chomsky, Jesse Jackson, and Dr. Seuss.
d) Not even the most steroid-addled athlete or dope smoking Hollywood head case – not even Lindsay Lohan’s more messed up evil twin – would move TO a Communist country. Nobody’s THAT retarded.

2. In the years 1946 to 1949, the nation of Greece experienced a terrible Civil War. It finally ended when dedicated and courageous Greek patriots defeated:

a) The Trojan Horse, a giant man-eating pony from the Isle of Troja.
b) The Hellenes, a group of woman traditionally found between the Gertrudes and the Irises in the Greek phone book.
c) The Mongrel Horde, a pack of huge, unlicensed dogs that was spreading fleas from the Athens to Sparta.
d) The Myceneans, the Monoans, and the Macdeonians. This stunning, 3-part victory was very fortunate, since it means no-one ever has to tell these people apart, in school or anywhere else. Seriously. Even Alex Trebek doesn’t give a rat’s patootie which is which.
e) The Communists.

3. Communist dictators often have huge, outsize egos and it’s common for them to give themselves nicknames or grandiose titles that they claim were “spontaneously” given to them by their loving, admiring subjects. Which of the following is NOT a title that a Communist ruler used, claiming it was bestowed on him by his loving people?

a) “Dear Leader” (North Korea)
b) “The Great Helmsman” (China)
c) “The Genius of the Carpathians” (Romania)
d) “That Cretinous, Evil, Ugly, Hyper-Retarded, Bilge-Spewing Communist Gasbag Who’s Ruining This Dump We Used To Call A Country” (Madeuppia)



4. If America were suddenly to come under attack by huge hordes of hungry, flesh-eating zombies, it would be a good idea to run and hide in a Communist country because;

a) Communist countries have decades of experience dealing with hungry people and dead people, so hungry, dead people probably wouldn’t be that much of a stretch.
b) In Communist countries, zombies would be hopelessly confused by the fact that there’s a mass grave every couple of miles or so: “Wait a minute... Wasn’t I here half-hour ago? Is that my grave? Sid, help me out here, are we goin’ in circles, or what?
c) Despite their ravenous flesh-eating tendencies and penchant for traveling in large numbers zombies don’t know how to use guns and are actually pretty slow. And when it comes to machine-gunning large numbers of slow-moving, unarmed people you really can’t beat the Commies.
d) While all the above answers are plausible, this is frankly a silly question, since zombies don’t exist. However, if they did exist, they probably couldn’t add appreciably to the general horror of the day-to-day life for people unfortunate enough to be living under Communism.

5. In “Star Wars: The Return of the Jedi”, Obi-Wan Kenobi explains how Anakin Skywalker was seduced by the Dark Side of the Force, and as a result, “He’s more machine now than man – twisted and evil.” If you had to come up with a form of government that embodied the Dark Side and was twisted and evil, a good candidate would be?

a) Teddo-ursa-plusharchy (government by teddy bear)
b) Auro-floppo-lapinocracy (government by bunny rabbit)
c) Whole-wheat-a-mingian slice-o-porinacious thermo-cheddarianism (government by toasted ham & cheese sandwich)
d) Communism (government by Commies)

6. If you’re stopped on the streets of Lhasa, Tibet by the Chinese authorities, and they find you’re carrying on your person a photograph of Tibetan Buddhist spiritual lead the Dalai Lama, you’re likely to be:

a) Complimented on your taste and discernment in post-modern celebrities and given a quick update on Britney’s and Lindsay’s latest hijinks, so people won’t think you’re a complete un-American freak.
b) Taken to see the reincarnated Ansel Adams, who is unfortunately nor a bark beetle, but still has some good tips on lighting and composition.
c) Declared the winner of KLSA’s “Morning Zoo Giveaway” and awarded 6 days and 7 nights in the luxurious penthouse suite of the fabulous Lhasa Hilton.
d) Imprisoned by the Chinese Communists and beaten within an inch of your life, because they’re Communists, and that’s how the roll.

[NICKG]

don't like communists do ya?

[onewhippedpuppy]

There's a theme here, but I can't quite put my finger on it...........

[Paul_Heery]

I sure hope that you check that for grammar and spelling before you submit it.

[BRPORSCHE]

It was very informal. Just a pass around the class and take someone else quiz for fun. You think we actually do work?

[tabs]

TSK TSK none of the above for #6..The correct answer would be you get to meet your dead ancestors in person.