Exactly my thought. I'd like to be the first to welcome him to PPOT.SmileWavy

rest assured that I'm not from the pushy parent school. Being raised by a perfectionist school teacher mom, I have serious issues with the "p" word (potential). This extra work isn't because he isn't living up to his "potential", but rather because his lit circle notebook was absolute crap. As in illegible half sentences and totally undone work. Legion, he's had plenty of "failure" over the past few years. One problem is that he is totally charming (so much for genetics), and all his teachers love him so they cut him an incredible amount of slack. That is good and bad...

I don't push him into team sports at all (he tried t-ball and softball and didn't like them), but he is being "forced" to take piano lessons but that is typical. He actually has a very mellow teacher, is learning different styles and is already writing his own music. He loves it, but loves to complain. I seem to recall that same sentiment...

So the title is mostly rhetorical. I really don't care what he does when he grows up as long as he's happy and is creating. He's likely not going to be content to be a 9-5'er, and my joke has always been that he'll be a great politician or master criminal (like there is any difference). If he wants to postpone college and go on the road with a band, I'll be all for it as long as he's got his sht together. The only dad influence will be that the time to take risks is when you're young with no responsibilities. So pick something you love and chase it.

and as an aside, we routinely argue with the school that they give *too much* boring/rote homework. "Teaching to the test" is resulting in beating all the creative juices out of kids, often by the time they're done with elementary school. So both his mom and I push back pretty hard against the school. But the work that he *does* do has to show sincere effort. There are issues of learning discipline, work ethic, and follow-through that are essential no matter what he wants to do for a living.

As for how to get him to write? Well, no screen time until it is done. He loves playing computer games, so that is a great carrot to induce desirable outcomes. And thankfully he loves to read. I've watched him finish a 300 page book in a single day. I certainly can't do that any more...

I applaud you, Todd. Seems like not many parents know WTF to do with their kids these days, but you definitely have your stuff together.

Teaching to the test IS beating the creativity out of kids. I think that's actually been somewhat known for awhile. Cauchy, the great mathematician, showed wonderful promise as a young boy, and a friend of the family urged the father to keep young Cauchy away from formal mathematical instruction, lest it destroy his intuition and creativity.

How's this for teaching to the test? A girl in my Multi-Variable Calculus class got a 90 something on the exam. She asks me, 2 classes later, if I could explain what a Line Integral is. Funny, that's what the TEST was over. She got a 90, I got a Bad Grade, and here she didn't even comprehend that material. WTF?

I wish my parents (and teachers, and guidance counselors...) would have been more like, Todd. I do have to give some credit, though, as my parents never told me what they think I should because they didn't want to influence me. The public school system and the onslaught on "what do you want to do to make money" questions did enough damage, though....

I'll give your thread back now. Synopsis: Todd is the man:)

hell, I'm just trying to help him avoid *and* make some of the same mistakes I made as a kid. I sometimes feel like I have no clue on parenting, and it is a constant struggle. I'm a selfish b@stard and like to do my own thing. Thankfully kids are pretty patient and flexible and tolerant of parents who stumble around. I am in awe of kids as they really do *get* the world. I have a lot to learn...

As long as you're interested and involved in his life, he'll do well.

Why spend time with your kids when you could be making money to buy a new flat screen TV?

you can sell the kids to cover the tv, so that really isn't an issue.

Is that all they're worth? Damn, how many for a 993 TT?

Wal-Mart can ship him to Tailand to process/package shrimp for sale in its US stores. Everybody wins!

Sounds like you are doing a great job walking the fine line Todd.

Don't kids depreciate pretty quick?

I mean a white newborn might get you $100,000, but at 5 that kid is only good for sewing together tennis shoes, and is only worth $1,000 or so.

You held for too long Todd. Now you're just going to have to ride the market out! SmileWavy

just like my retirement account.

hey wait a minute...he *is* my retirement account. I better be nice to him...

You've got all the success the world has to offer Todd.
Thanks for posting!
That was spot on.

I did miserabley in school. Didn't even graduate high school. Now I run my own business, and have a worldwide reputation.

I find the creative, atristic types usually don't do well in school.

My advice? Give him a guitar and see what he does with it. :D

He's off to middle school next year and they have school orchestra. My ex asked him if he was insterested and if so what instrument and he said, "violin." *cringe* She thankfully said, "how about string bass, with violin as a backup?" I'm going to suggest trombone, but this weekend we'll be off to music shops to poke around. There are guitars around the house, as well as electric basses. If he wants to play upright I'll likely get one for me too and try to lead by example (although I don't want him to feel like he's competing with me - that part can be tricky).

My reasoning is that bass players can always get gigs. Violin is...um....evil. I'd rather he did cello or even viola. Trumpet players are usually uptight and the 'bone players more laid back. I also love oboe and bassoon but all double reed players eventually go insane from trying to put air through such a small opening :p

If he likes violin, let him play violin. He'll be tweaked if you push him into something else. When he sees what others play, it'll possibly lead him to make adjustments to what he wants to play the following year. My BTDT 2 pesos.

If he *really* wants to play violin then fine. But he often goes off on whims so a little course correction isn't out of the question. Depends on what he gets excited about at the music store. Then the reality of actually practicing...

That was a great read. :D

Many years ago, during a particularly tough semester at uni, a good friend of mine advised me: