what's he going to do when he grows up?
 

At the parent-teacher conference for my 5th grade son, it was evident that some of his work quality was...umm...sub-optimal. As part of his re-education, I have been having him write a page every night on the topic of my choice. He's been working on a fantasy piece about a kingdom that runs out of silver, but the other day I said he needed to write about learning the piano (he's taking lessons). Here's what he cranked out. Genetics holds true...

-----

When learning how to play the piano you should know this. The alphabet on the piano goes up to "G". Strange, huh? Also, never slump. It is bad for your back. Remember: no bamboo poles. Second, don't stare at the picture on the wall. Not that picture, the one to the left. No, my left you stupid.

No hot dogs either. So your dog in the summer heat has to go home where it's cool. Don't try to outwit your piano teacher. So the dictionary and the "How to Outwit Your Piano Teacher" book have to go. No dirty hands either. That means that your dirt sprayer has to go.

You need to be properly clothed too. So put your pants on. And your shirt on. And your hat on. Listen to the teacher. So the ear plugs and magazine have to go too. No throwing temper tantrums, so the "How to Throw a Temper Tantrum" book has to go. There! You look much better! Now go and hit learning piano in the bull's eye.

Zen and the art of piano playing.
Jim

I think he's "channeling" a young Hunter S. Thompson.

No the kid is just smarter than the old man....well at least more creative.

Damn, Todd. A paternity test in paragraph form. The apple didn't fall far from the tree.

you forgot better looking

Well.. that's a given..

That was awesome!



KT

that is hilarious! you must be a proud papa.

Now, that s**t's funny :D

Nice creativity! :)

FYI, my son was in need of "re-education" when he hit 5th grade. I turned the parental involvement up to 11, and by 6th grade, he was close to running on autopilot for the rest of his school years. You're doing a great job, Todd!

when talking to little people of this caliber, you really have to watch yourself.
NO DNA test needed..

Rika

I'd say he's bored. That is a very creative and intelligent bit of writing for a 5th grader.

That is quite clever stuff. How old is fifth grade?

I can empathize. That kind of boredom for me didn't kick in until 6th or 7th grade and lasted most of the way through high school. I managed to pull out by my own bootstraps without "parental re-education" my senior year of high school.

Let me preface my next statement with this: your son is obviously bright and talented. I wouldn't suggest what I'm going to suggest unless this was not true. I'd imagine that he is also pretty well-adjusted.

I'm going to suggest something unorthodox. Let the kid fail for a while. Let him marinade in it. Let him simmer in it. Let it go for maybe a year.

Yes, his teacher will have a fit. You will hear about "lost potential" and such. He may even fall behind a little.

But what your son may end up with may be something that very few kids are allowed to have anymore: an appreciation for failure. Avoiding the feeling of failure may well provide him with a lifetime of self-motivation.

Of course Todd, you are the parent and your decisions are final. I just thought I'd throw my crazy ideas into the mix.

You got your 5th grader to write a page on the topic of your choice? That;'s pretty impressive. I'd ease off the worrying about school work. He's clearly going to be ok despite the damage done to him by the educational system.

GONZO piano lessons.:D

Your kid made my day, Todd! That was good.

*steps onto soapbox*
I know I shouldn't throw my 2 cents out here, but I'm going to anyway. Bad decision making skills I suppose. Anyway. The title of the thread got me thinking a bit, and I was reminded of a conversation I had the other day. Whatever you do, Todd, don't badger the kid about what he wants to be when he grows up, or about how is he ever going to make money doing <activity>. He doesn't sound like an idiot, and you seem overall to be a rather intelligent guy. He'll find a way to make money, or make a living, doing <blah> if he really enjoys it. All you'll serve to do by working him over about it is to ruin his creative potential, destroy the possibility for original thought fueled by passion (and aptitude!). This has all sorts of effects later in life, and (believe me) none are pleasurable.

I know it's my uneducated, never-been-there opinion, but torturing kids (of any age) about what they are going to do when they grow up, or how they'll ever make a living doing it, is one of the WORST thing you can for them.

*steps off soapbox*

Two nephews about that age in a small town school. They track the kids into three groups:

A. work for the village, town, county or state. (90% of decent jobs in the area.)

B. to move away and get a job in a cube processing insurance claims or some such.

Or C. future dropouts who will make a living cutting firewood or get some kind of public assistance.

No other options or possiblities exisit. The whole educational process is predicated on these three tracks.. It really is awful.

In this one sense much rebellion and anger I do.
Be wary, anger leads to the dark side. Learn to control your feelings young Skywalker.
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