Pelican Parts Forums - behavior modification on others children (etiquette)

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Chuck E. Cheese

http://www.chuckecheese.com/locations/results.php?state=WI

Actually 2 words and a letter;)

the gent who had the biggest impact on me , never hit me...
he would just look at me with that..
'Im disappointed in you' look.
That hurt more than any beating he could have given.
no kids= no advice
now those NUNS, spare the rod my a$$,
they flogged me for being lefthanded..which I still am

Rika

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rikao4 (Post 4046210)

no kids= no advice

:confused: Says who? I'm an expert on vaginas, but I don't own one...

Raising kids isn't rocket science. Obviously no advanced degree or licensing is required.

"Spare the rod, spoil the child"...

You don't have to spank frequently to have well-behaved kids. I present mine as Exhibits A and B. Very well-behaved and probably been spanked less than once a year.

But you have to discipline them, consistently and firmly, starting early, so that they know and obey the house rules from toddler-hood. I think that works better than letting them run beserk until you lose it and spank their rears flat.

By "discipline" I don't mean negotiating a mutually-acceptable bargain or anything touchy-feely like that. I mean stating the rules, explaining (not more than once or twice) why the rule exists, and enforcing it, when necessary through force and fear.

To the OP, I'd move the party to a park as has been suggested. Or simply cancel it. I'd tell my sister (your sister) very bluntly that her kids' behaviour is unacceptable in your home, so they are no longer welcome until and unless they shape up. I just don't have a lot of tolerance for crap like that.

Quote:

Originally Posted by speedracing944 (Post 4042766)

My sister and brother-in-law were over yesterday with their four boys ages 11, 8, 6 and almost 3. The four boys are a very rough group always pounding on each other and generally suffer from a lack of direction and discipline. They are products of constant video game playing and TV watching. So yesterday the youngest boy was running around in the house getting in all sorts of trouble. He was up stairs even after telling him it was off limits. He ran under the electric fence and went into the horse pasture and was under the pony, he open the barn gate and almost let the horse out into the yard. We stopped the pony right before it left the barn. He again went under the fence to the pony even after I turned the electric fence on. He would constantly hit people with objects while laughing and throw things across the room. The 2 biggest things is he went to my outside screen door, opened it and grabbed it and pulled until the hydraulic dampener ripped right off the door. The second big item was he went to my wife's fathers old toy box from when he was a kid and pulled on the lid hard enough to rip the hinges right off.

The whole time my sister and brother-in-law do nothing. They just sit there and witness it happening. Now I am a fairly laid back guy but I spent the whole time just monitoring this little brats destruction and trying to prevent it from happening.

We are having a combined birthday party for my near 3 year old daughter and this near 3 year old brat. The party is next month and I am down right scared of the mass destruction this kid is going to cause. I do not wish to spend the hole time "babysitting" this kid but want to enjoy the party with our guests and my daughter.

I want to tell my sister she needs to watch her kids and the first thing broken and or spilled sends them packing. Now I understand spilling happens and if it is in the kitchen it's fine but all the kids know no food items are aloud outside the kitchen.

BTW these kids would "own" Jojo from Supernanny. They would make the poor lady cry.

What would you guys do?????

Speedy:)

I don't post here often, but this is real tricky--what with family and all. I went through something like this. First I would try a one on one with your sister. Just be polite, and voice your concerns. I would not want to be the one that discilines. That should be her or her husband. Then, before EVERY get together remind her that bad behavior will need monitoring and correcting.

If none of this works, go to Salvation Army, and pick up clothes to wear while visiting their house.

Chris

Quote:

Originally Posted by Danny_Ocean (Post 4046230)

:confused: Says who? I'm an expert on vaginas, but I don't own one...

Raising kids isn't rocket science. Obviously no advanced degree or licensing is required.

Unfortunately!:p

At least in case of our family (both my sister's kids and by wife's brother's kids), the kids are are all treated as part of the immediate family. So my sister or her husband can discipline our daughters if needed, and my daughters know it. The same applies with my wife's nephews. So if they are tearing down the house, I don't feel out of line to redirect them or explain why what they are doing is ill-advised if it is dangerous or risks damage.

That being said, it is done judiciously at best. My daughters are expected to follow the rules of the house that they are in, as well are our own families rules. So if my sister or brother-in-lay are stricter about something then we are in our house, our daughters are expected to respect this. If my wife's brother and his wife are more lenient about something then we are, our daughters are expected to keep in mind that we measure them by our standards.