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Freiherr
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: New Orleans
Posts: 1,884
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The Silent Fart
The Silent Fart
An elderly couple was attending church services. About halfway through, she leaned over and whispered to her husband, "I just let out a long silent fart. What do you think I should do?" He replied, "Put a new battery in your hearing aid." |
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07-11-2008, 03:57 PM
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Slackerous Maximus
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Columbus, OH
Posts: 18,191
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Lmfao!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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2022 Royal Enfield Interceptor. 2012 Harley Davidson Road King 2014 Triumph Bonneville T100. 2014 Cayman S, PDK. Mercedes E350 family truckster. |
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07-11-2008, 04:11 PM
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Just thinking out loud
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Close by
Posts: 6,885
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Fart Football
A married couple were in bed and the husband lets out a fart. The wife asks "What was that?" He replies, "Touch down, 7-0". She angrily thinks to herself that this time he's going to get paid back. A few minutes later she lets one loose. The husband asks "Now what in the hell was that?". Wife replies, "Touch down, tie ball game". Thinking that he will not be out done, afterall they are playing a mans game, he musters with all his might. Finally he lets out the loudest, nastiest fart that has ever been floated in a bedroom, but shat the bed in the process. Wife again says, "What was that?" To which he replies "End of the first quarter, switch sides!".
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83 944 91 FJ80 84 Ram Charger (now gone) |
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07-11-2008, 04:18 PM
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Freiherr
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: New Orleans
Posts: 1,884
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confucius say "he who fart in church sits in own pew"
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07-11-2008, 04:20 PM
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Dog-faced pony soldier
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A car, a 911, a motorbike and a few surfboards Black Cars Matter |
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07-11-2008, 05:11 PM
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canna change law physics
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Every morning, just before he would get out of bed, George would let out all the gas from the night before. His wife was always disgusted by this. "One of these days, you're going to fart your innards out!"
So, to get even, one night, as he slept, she slipped some chicken livers into his underwear. The next morning, he does his usual thing, but then suddenly feels this wet, warm feeling in his shorts. He runs to the bathroom and look in his underwear and screams. A minute or so later he walks back to the bedroom. "You were right! You were so right. I farted my innards out! But by god, and these two fingers, I got them back in!"
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James The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the engineer adjusts the sails.- William Arthur Ward (1921-1994) Red-beard for President, 2020 |
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07-11-2008, 05:13 PM
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JW Apostate
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Napa, Ca
Posts: 14,164
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KT
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'74 914-6 2.6 SS #746 '01 Boxster |
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07-11-2008, 07:34 PM
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Team California
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Denis Trump uses an autopen and votes by mail, in case anyone wonders. 
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07-15-2008, 12:56 AM
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: N. Phoenix AZ USA
Posts: 28,954
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You guys are terrible. I fart in your general direction!
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2021 Subaru Legacy, 2002 Dodge Ram 2500 Cummins (the workhorse), 1992 Jaguar XJ S-3 V-12 VDP (one of only 100 examples made), 1969 Jaguar XJ (been in the family since new), 1985 911 Targa backdated to 1973 RS specs with a 3.6 shoehorned in the back, 1959 Austin Healey Sprite (former SCCA H-Prod), 1995 BMW R1100RSL, 1971 & '72 BMW R75/5 "Toaster," Ural Tourist w/sidecar, 1949 Aeronca Sedan / QB |
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07-15-2008, 05:07 AM
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Registered
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Linn County, Oregon
Posts: 48,554
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Two old ladies in church
A long boring sermon One leans over to the other, says: "My butt's asleep." The other responds: "I know, I've heard it snore four times."
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"Now, to put a water-cooled engine in the rear and to have a radiator in the front, that's not very intelligent." -Ferry Porsche (PANO, Oct. '73) (I, Paul D. have loved this quote since 1973. It will remain as long as I post here.) |
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07-15-2008, 08:44 AM
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1970/1982 Porsche 914-6/911SC 2.7 RS
