Do your kids have a mute button?

[mikester]

Mine don't either.




Last night, wife and I (just us) are at a neighborhood sushi place that we really enjoy.

Behind me is another family with a baby, probably around 18months old. Happy kid and he's right behind me the entire time having a blast. Kids having a blast are not quiet.

I the only time I actually 'heard' it was when my wife would giggle at the kid or something and while I had him tuned out (easily) I know the kid was making a bit of a racket.

The family behind me arrived right after us, in the restaurant when we arrived was a pair of older folks having their own night out.

As my wife an I are finishing up and preparing to ask for the check a commotion ensues behind me.

One of the older fellows has engaged the father of the baby behind me to quiet him down. He's not politely asking - he's fairly demanding about it. My wife is surprised and I am too. Our neighborhood is full of kids so generally speaking what is happening right now is 'the norm.'

The dad asks rhetorically 'what do you want me to do, he's a baby.' He ends up taking the kid outside and they pretty much left due to the altercation (on his way out the Dad did call the old fart some a POS...so he wasn't 'nice' either) but my wife and I are sitting there just watching aghast at the scene. My wife even engaged them saying "It's EL SEGUNDO for crying out loud - EVERYBODY had kids!" And one of the ladies at the older table responded - 'well, he's not from around here.'

ANYWAY - it was interesting to watch. My wife is 9 months pregnant with our second and was wishing she had the baby so she could have breast fed it in front of the guy (she's crazy as a loon you know).

I know that before I had children I didn't like the loud kids in the restaurant thing but what are you going to do? If parents don't bring their kids to restaurants then the kids won't learn how to behave at one (assuming good parenting here which is what was happening last night). We try to be as considerate as we can but our kids don't have mute buttons and especially the younger ones - feelings and emotions run hot and quick.

I know people hate kids but I hate people so those who hate kids can kiss my butt.

[Oh Haha]

We went out to a local diner a few months ago for supper with just the four of us.

I was terrified that my kids would behave like they do most days at supper. We try very hard but they are 5 and 2 so it only goes so far with them.

To my surprize, they were the most well behaved kids any parent could ask for of kids that age. I was just waiting for the fussing but it never happened.


When we were getting up to leave, a couple obviously in the late years told us" your children are so well behaved, you must be good parents". Holy crap!!

That was probably the best compliment we could recieve from a total stranger. My kids, angels? Pffft. Suuuuuure.




So we decide to try again a few weeks later..........................................






AAAAAGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nothing went right. The kids acted up, didn't eat, would not sit in the booth for anything, just the total opposite of the last time.

I must have had the look of frustration on my face as I went to the men's room.

As I passed the register, an older fellow looked at me and simply said" they're kids, enjoy them while they are little" and gave me a smile.

Everything didn't magically get better like in the movies but I at least realised that he was right and I really try hard to not get too worked up over them being monsters in public.

[Gogar]

People don't hate kids. I love kids, they're very tasty.

Each table in a restaurant has its own litte invisible bubble. A table with a noisy, happy baby has a bigger bubble. It grew and grew, until it touched the "old fart" guy, and broke all over him and his wife and his food, which he paid good money to enjoy.

Most good people know that kids need special consideration, and almost everyone is willing to deal with a little fun in a restaurant, but good parents should be able to see when their "bubble" is getting too big, and at least make an effort for the people around them.

And, in return, I promise not to smoke a cigar or use my cell phone in a restaurant when you're trying to eat dinner with your kids.


Remember, too, that parents have specially modified "filters" on their ears that reduce the perceived volume of their own children's screams. That guy at the end of the bar who talks really loud also has those same filters for the sound of his own voice.

[stomachmonkey]

Always a tricky situation.

The key to this is not the kids, it's the adults.

As a parent you need to be aware of your surroundings.

If your child is disturbing others you can't just shrug and say it's a baby, what am I gonna do?

Most people are fine with a noisy baby, they understand, other people can't tolerate it and they should not have to either.

I find what irritates people most is if the kids are simply being ignored. If the parent is trying to control the situation they get sympathy from the others who have all been there.

Perspective is weird, there have been times that I thought my kids were being animals and some old couple next to me would comment on how well behaved they were.

[jhynesrockmtn]

I understand what you're saying. My kids are older so I love seeing little ones at places. There is a fine line between acceptable noise/distraction and a kid that's really making a racket. Venue also makes a difference.

I was at my daughters high school graduation recently. A younger family had two young kids there. They were very noisy, walking around the bleachers, talking, crying. Everyone was staring down the parents. Finally, 30 minutes after they should have walked the kids outside they did. I was getting ready to say something. It was an inappropriate place and time to have noisy kids.

A mexican family restaurant is a different story. The more the merrier!

[Rick V]

My kids have a mute button, when they press it I shut up.
My kids are 18 and 21.

[Rick V]

My kids have a mute button, when they press it I shut up.
My kids are 18 and 21.

[Moses]

Originally Posted by mikester

Do your kids have a mute button?

Sure. 5,000 volts of instant table manners.

[Zef]

My daughters are 7 and 9.....when they're too loud at the wrong place...just a regard with bads eyes from me...that's the mute button.

[lendaddy]

Originally Posted by mikester

The dad asks rhetorically 'what do you want me to do, he's a baby.'

I'm an outside the box thinker so I'm going to go with: "Don't bring a loud child to an adult dining environment, especially in the evening. Chuckie Cheese is three blocks down"

Originally Posted by mikester

My wife is 9 months pregnant with our second and was wishing she had the baby so she could have breast fed it in front of the guy (she's crazy as a loon you know).

Good to see your wife has realized it's all about her.

[dandrews64]

Originally Posted by stomachmonkey

Always a tricky situation.

The key to this is not the kids, it's the adults.

As a parent you need to be aware of your surroundings.

If your child is disturbing others you can't just shrug and say it's a baby, what am I gonna do?

Most people are fine with a noisy baby, they understand, other people can't tolerate it and they should not have to either.

I find what irritates people most is if the kids are simply being ignored. If the parent is trying to control the situation they get sympathy from the others who have all been there.

Perspective is weird, there have been times that I thought my kids were being animals and some old couple next to me would comment on how well behaved they were.

I agree it is about the parents more than the kids.

Are the parents teaching the kids proper behaivor (I know "proper" is subject, but let's call is considerate, polite, etc. Plz don't flame me over this symantic)

It starts with teaching it at home over mac-n-cheese and then you road test at applebee's or other kid-friendly place. There are so many teachable moments when eating out. So if the folks are teaching, correcting, etc. I can roll with it. Of course I have two approaching their teens - a topic for another thread - so I can empathize with parents of younger kids and think, yikes, I've been there, at least they are trying.

Without having been there, I would lean towards the old coot was out of line. my $.02

[Jims5543]

Depends on the restaurant. If its an upscale place then all measures must be taken to keep them quiet.

We took our 2 sons to Berns Steakhouse, this is a 5 start place and their best behavior was mandatory. WE made our dinner reservation for the earliest seating possible (5:00) and we made sure our at the time 4 y/o was well rested and not cranky. The night went perfectly and the kids both looked adorable in their suits.

We tend to choose noisy places when we want to go out to eat, sports bars, wing joints etc.. Anything fancier or quieter requires planning on our part to make sure the little one is going to be on his best behavior.

Sometimes I wish my little one had a mute button, he hyper focuses on something wrong and works himself up into a tizzy. This usually happens when he is either really tired, or has not been outside playing enough that day.

When our older one was little he was noisy as well, we either avoided the quiet places or we would take turns taking him out for walks to settle him back down, he was a handful too, both our kids were little bundles of energy. You would never know it if you met my older one now he is the most laid back kid you ever met.

Both the old man and the young couple in your story were out of line, yes, kids are noisy but like Jeremy said you have to be conscious as to your surroundings, not everyone loves kids, and some people are just like my little guy, they hyper focus on something and work themselves into a tizzy.

[Danny_Ocean]

Originally Posted by lendaddy

"Don't bring a loud child to an adult dining environment, especially in the evening. Chuckie Cheese is three blocks down"

+1 - Beautifully said.

[artplumber]

Originally Posted by mikester

The family behind me arrived right after us, in the restaurant when we arrived was a pair of older folks having their own night out.

....

I know that before I had children I didn't like the loud kids in the restaurant thing but what are you going to do? If parents don't bring their kids to restaurants then the kids won't learn how to behave at one (assuming good parenting here which is what was happening last night). We try to be as considerate as we can but our kids don't have mute buttons and especially the younger ones - feelings and emotions run hot and quick.

I know people hate kids but I hate people so those who hate kids can kiss my butt.

Mike read your post again. Do you see the dichotomies? Then think about the the assumption that the "old guy" "hates kids" and the thought process that gets to some of the attitudes you expressed. Why didn't you like loud kids? What about anyone else who is disturbed by loud people (not just kids)? If you (or anyone else) knew you had a child who was going to be unable to deal with an enviroment, why would you put them in that situation (and set them up to fail)? Go to somewhere that the behaviour is more acceptable like ChuckECheese. From the other view (in this case the "old guy"), it seems pretty selfish to insist that he shares these kids' outbursts just so those parents can eat sushi, don't you think? It's just like going to the movies and having kids disturb the audience (or cell phones for that matter).

Frankly, kids don't need to be in a restaurant to learn good behavior at mealtimes.

And yes, I have a kid. And yes, we didn't eat out for a while.

[Gogar]

Don't get me wrong, I think it's fine for families to go to nice restaurants and try to make it happen. Like Jim said, he did it, and it worked great. Parents and patrons need to be sensitive to each other, until someone starts messing up someone else's enjoyment, in whatever direction.

Not really related, but I was just thinking how you never see booster seats at Morton's. Or a senior's menu at CiCi's pizza.

[HardDrive]

We have a 4 year old daughter and we expect her to behave in restaurants. And she does.

I guess were just Nazis, but we don't buy that 'they're just kids!' BS. Kids like to crawl around and talk and play with their food, and thats fine. But they should not be screaming and bothering other people. Our daughter can make all the trouble she wants at our table, but we DO NOT put up with her bothering others. And we made that clear from an early age.

It tough for Americans to discipline their children because they are really just fat stupid children themselves.


Please recall that I never denied being an azzhole

[stomachmonkey]

Originally Posted by HardDrive

It tough for Americans to discipline their children because they are really just fat stupid children themselves.


Please recall that I never denied being an azzhole

I do not believe in corporal punishment to modify behavior.

Sometimes kids will get into "a zone" and a swift smack on the bottom is required to get their attention and bring them back to reality.

Problem is if you do it in public these days you run the risk of some nut case calling the cops.

Was at a play with my kids and a friend and her kids.

Friends son was getting worked up and she grabbed him and admonished him.

Some lady walks over and tells my friend that what she just did is child abuse and she better watch it.

My friend turns to her, looks her square in the face and says "get the f' outa my face and mind your own f'ng business"

I don't normally condone that type of response either but in this case it was completely warranted.

[Gogar]

As noble as the "No corporal punishment" "No child -abuse-" "use your words" concept is, all you need to do is look at the majority of today's teens or twenty somethings to see how well it works in the end.

The reason they used to smack us on the bottom (waaaaay back in the old days . . . like . . . before the eighties) was because no one would see the bruises. Worked for me, AFAIK.

[Seahawk]

Originally Posted by dandrews64

I agree it is about the parents more than the kids.

Are the parents teaching the kids proper behaivor (I know "proper" is subject, but let's call is considerate, polite, etc. Plz don't flame me over this symantic)

It starts with teaching it at home over mac-n-cheese and then you road test at applebee's or other kid-friendly place. There are so many teachable moments when eating out. So if the folks are teaching, correcting, etc. I can roll with it. Of course I have two approaching their teens - a topic for another thread - so I can empathize with parents of younger kids and think, yikes, I've been there, at least they are trying.

Without having been there, I would lean towards the old coot was out of line. my $.02

Very reasonable. I always look at how the parents are trying to handle the situation...and those of us who have had kids know there will be trying times.

If the parents are working through the kid discipline progression, are aware of their child's impact on other dinners (to say nothing of fellow passengers on an aircraft) and are trying to get to a solution, I'm good to go.

What I have issue with is the sluggos that ignore their children or seem not to care that little precious is being a problem.

That's why I have noise canceling head phones for the airline kid lottery

[Porsche-O-Phile]

You might be able to "tune it out". Everyone else can't. If they act up, they go sit in the car until they calm down - same way I was treated as a kid.

This is an adult world. Either they learn to behave in it according to adult rules of decorum, or they stay in the "kid world" which includes Chucky Cheese, the McDonald's Playland, or at home.

I have little tolerance for people who are so inconsiderate as to be unable to control their brats.