Do your kids have a mute button?

[legion]

Originally Posted by Seahawk

What I have issue with is the sluggos that ignore their children or seem not to care that little precious is being a problem.

You mean like the parents who completely ignore it when their kids run up and down the Olive Garden or play chicken with shopping carts at the grocery store? All the while, the parents are completely ignoring the kids and get upset if you so much as give them a look?

I remember the meal being cut short and being taken home post haste if I acted up as a kid. My father told me he wasn't allowed to go to restaurants with his parents until he demonstrated he could behave during meals at home.

[javadog]

I've raised two kids, one quiet, one not so quiet. I'm would not have had my kids in a sushi place. A, at that age they were interested in hamburgers and pizza, not sushi. B, a sushi bar is a fairly quiet place. There are a million places that are appropriate for kids and that wasn't one of them. Maybe the old guy was a jerk but the kids shouldn't have been there, acting up. I have no patience for parents that ignore their noisy kid, hoping the problem will just go away. Kids can behave at any age, if raised right. Mine did not disturb other people.

JR

[rammstein]

Originally Posted by legion

I remember the meal being cut short and being taken home post haste if I acted up as a kid.

Me too. The ride home was brutal. The rest of the day/night being confined to my room sucked. There was no beating, but a slap to my smartassed face would occur here and there.

This is why eventually, I knew that when I got the evil eye from my parents, it meant something.

It sounds like in this case it was an infant, so that's a bit different. As someone else said, so long as the parents were doing their best that's all you can do.

[87coupe]

If you have kids who are at the age where there is a chance of them acting up in a restaurant get a iPhone or portable DVD player and load it with kids movies and bring it with you. Problem solved.

[red-beard]

Originally Posted by mikester

ANYWAY - it was interesting to watch. My wife is 9 months pregnant with our second and was wishing she had the baby so she could have breast fed it in front of the guy (she's crazy as a loon you know).

It's good to know you two are still "playing" a lot!

[Jims5543]

Just went to Brunch at the Cheesecake Factory and thought of this thread.

Gian, our 4.5 year old was acting up a bit proceeding arriving to the restaurant and I was a bit tense about whether or not he would settle down. We were to be seated at a open table next to two older woman in the late 50's early 60's with the sweaters over their shoulders etc.. definitely locals here in Snobsdale. They looked at Gian and I as we approached the the eyes rolled, I spun around the to hostess and asked for a booth.

We ended up at a booth next to some younger woman and one of them had their 18 or so month old in a high chair. Gian ended up being very quiet and calm and the stress level was very low. It would not have been if we were seated next to the snobs. Every little sound he would have made would have stressed me out and made the snobs irritated.

I would not dream of taking my kids to a nice place when they were 6 months to 3 years old. My kids have mine and my wifes energy level and asking them to sit through a meal at night is asking too much, we were basically relegated to Ale Houses, sports Bars and noisy places during those periods and woudl get a babysitter when we would go somewhere nice.

[Jims5543]

Originally Posted by 87coupe

If you have kids who are at the age where there is a chance of them acting up in a restaurant get a iPhone or portable DVD player and load it with kids movies and bring it with you. Problem solved.

I hope I do not offend you but that is a pet peeve of mine, I have seen teens sit through an entire meal with an i-pod on. I have seen little kids glued to a Disney movie through the entire meal. I do not care where you are that is a sad commentary of parenting and society today.

We bring activity books, little things for him to do while at the table and it all gets put away when the food is served.

Sitting down for family meals at home are important as well, like someone mentioned above starting at home with the mac and cheese is where it begins then you move on to Chili's then on to nicer restaurants.

[legion]

Jim, I agree. I think allowing kids to listen to iPods/watch movies at the table sends the wrong message. At the very least, it tells them that it is okay to tune the world out for their convenience. It might also be telling them that they are an inconvenience to their parents.

I think it is much better to turn the meal into a lesson and to engage the kids.

[87coupe]

Teach lessons when it's appropriate. If your going to a place where it's not appropriate for the kids to act up (quiet restaurants, airplanes, etc) iPods, portable movie players are better at controlling kids than parents are.

[jyl]

Here is my view on babies and kids in restaurants. BTW, I have two kids, 12 and 9.

In "upscale" restaurants, babies and kids shouldn't be there, if they are there they have to be kept quiet, and if they can't be quiet they have to leave/be taken outside. What's "upscale"? Where people are paying significant money for the atmosphere/ambience, where you might go for a romantic date or a special dinner, certainly if there's candlelight or a sommelier.

Okay - I doubt too many disagree with that.

In "neighborhood" restaurants, which are casual, lively, often noisy - well, babies and kids are a part of the neighborhood, so they can be there. And they can make the usual baby and kid noises, just like the table of guys over there who are laughing and drinking, and the two ladies over here busily gossiping away. What's "usual" - like babbling, gurgling, "talking", laughing, that's "usual baby sounds" to me. Rattling toys are normal too.

But if the baby or kid is making noises well beyond the "usual" then the parent has to quiet things down, or take the baby for a walk. So if the baby is screeching and yodeling at the top of its lungs, like babies sometimes do as they learn what their voices can do. Or banging toys and dishware like a deranged drummer. Or if the kids are hollering at each other, running around, throwing things, etc. That's going beyond what is okay. Just like if the table of fun guys were whooping and doing bronx cheers, or the gossipy ladies were shrieking. At that point, you start going from "neighborhood restaurant"ambience to "noisy bar" ambience.

So, Mikester, to me it sounds like the older guy was out of line. It really depends on what "happy baby sounds" means - I've heard some "happy babies" who make your teeth grind.

[peppy]

Mute button, Ha. How about instructions.



Never mind I wouldn't read them.

[DanielDudley]

I guess that it is appropriate to take a child to a restaurant where they offer placemats with pictures and crayons. Why else would they have them ?

[mikester]

Originally Posted by lendaddy

I'm an outside the box thinker so I'm going to go with: "Don't bring a loud child to an adult dining environment, especially in the evening. Chuckie Cheese is three blocks down"




Good to see your wife has realized it's all about her.

Most of the restaurants in this town are very kid friendly. We do have a few upscaler scale that I Wouldn't take the kids too but this place is definitely kid friendly. I've had my son there many times and they are happy to make him something off menu.

So, yes - I agree - don't take a noisy baby to the wrong environment but this was not the wrong environment. The kid wasn't out of hand but had it been me I think I would have tried to redirect the boy. I had my back to them so I am not aware of any attempts at this.

The 'old fart' apparently had no children and thus no 'child noise' filter.

And yes - my wife is very baby friendly. That's good for me cause I'm a baby.

[mikester]

Originally Posted by rammstein

Me too. The ride home was brutal. The rest of the day/night being confined to my room sucked. There was no beating, but a slap to my smartassed face would occur here and there.

This is why eventually, I knew that when I got the evil eye from my parents, it meant something.

It sounds like in this case it was an infant, so that's a bit different. As someone else said, so long as the parents were doing their best that's all you can do.

I had similar experiences myself and my kid will have them as well. We've already been through the grocery cart thing. The main st. grocery store here had child-sized carts and one day he decided running up and down the aisles was okay even though I said it wasn't.

When I caught him - it was o-v-e-r. From now on son, you get to ride IN the cart with me until you can show me that you can follow the rules (which had been laid down before the incident), and I will tell you when you get the opportunity to impress me with your ability to listen and follow the rules.

This was a baby but he wasn't 'upset' so it wasn't a crying baby it was a 'happy' baby. Very happy in fact but he wasn't screaming or anything he was just happy and giggly.

[mikester]

Originally Posted by 87coupe

If you have kids who are at the age where there is a chance of them acting up in a restaurant get a iPhone or portable DVD player and load it with kids movies and bring it with you. Problem solved.

I'm in my mid-30s dude and there is always a fair chance that *I* will act up and my wife is well aware of it.

[mikester]

Originally Posted by artplumber

Mike read your post again. Do you see the dichotomies? Then think about the the assumption that the "old guy" "hates kids" and the thought process that gets to some of the attitudes you expressed. Why didn't you like loud kids? What about anyone else who is disturbed by loud people (not just kids)? If you (or anyone else) knew you had a child who was going to be unable to deal with an enviroment, why would you put them in that situation (and set them up to fail)? Go to somewhere that the behaviour is more acceptable like ChuckECheese. From the other view (in this case the "old guy"), it seems pretty selfish to insist that he shares these kids' outbursts just so those parents can eat sushi, don't you think? It's just like going to the movies and having kids disturb the audience (or cell phones for that matter).

Frankly, kids don't need to be in a restaurant to learn good behavior at mealtimes.

And yes, I have a kid. And yes, we didn't eat out for a while.

I completely understand the dichotomy which is one of the reasons I posted it to begin with. In fact, before the altercation I had mentioned it to my wife because I noticed the baby (being that it was right in my ear basically). Still, even prior to my own kids I had some understanding that kids are far from perfect all the time and babies can do no wrong.

Both sides had some wrong here - the parents handled it badly but they were approached very badly by the old guy.

It could have gone much better if the old guy had simply spoken calmly and respectfully to the parents but he did not do that.

It could have gone much better if the parents had left the kid at home with a big bowl of food instead of trying to be normal folks who go out to the neighborhood family friendly sushi place (ok - I'll admit some bias).

I've dealt with situations like this - I fly RC airplanes and occasionally (read often) I act as a self proclaimed safety officer at our field. If I see something that could very easily go very badly for someone happening I say something. I try to be as tactful as possible and the more friendly you are the better the chance the guy you are dealing with won't turn off his ears. Approach badly and tell him to stop trying to kill himself and everyone around him and he won't hear anything you have to say.

[artplumber]

Originally Posted by mikester

....

Both sides had some wrong here - the parents handled it badly but they were approached very badly by the old guy.

It could have gone much better if the old guy had simply spoken calmly and respectfully to the parents but he did not do that.

Perhaps he had waited for the parents to do something about it (whatever it was) that he was so upset he could no longer speak calmly? Since this 18 month old was having a "blast" were the parents perhaps encouraging the behavior as well?

Originally Posted by mikester

....
It could have gone much better if the parents had left the kid at home with a big bowl of food instead of trying to be normal folks who go out to the neighborhood family friendly sushi place (ok - I'll admit some bias).

....

Well why couldn't they have stayed at home or ordered take out if their child wasn't going to able to go to a restaurant and not disturb other patrons? Selfish. Child will probably grow up with no manners too.

[MT930]

This is always tough, we did not dine out with the kids until the kids were 5 or so I would not fly commercially with the kids until they were 3-4 Years, My wife flew all over with them prior to that and never had any problems. Keeping kids quiet prior to that is asking allot. Now Our kids are better behaved than me when we are out in public thanks to their Mom. I always feel bad for the people on the plane with the screaming kid. Before I had kids I just wanted to School them on keeping the kid quiet.

[nostatic]

btdt. imho young kids should not be taken to a "nice" place unless they are incredibly well behaved. Sorry parents...if you want to eat at an upscale place, get a sitter.

At other places, I was on my son like a hawk. If he got anywhere near being loud or annoying I took him outside. If he persisted, we left - whether we had eaten or not. I'm sorry, but if my kid decides to throw a fit I'm not going to let it ruin anyone else's evening. Restaurants are *optional* environments - parents do not have to take their kids there. There are other places to eat and other ways to do meals.

I have more sympathy on planes, etc - ie places where there really isn't a good way to avoid the situation.

And I have raised a very "active" son to the age of going-on-12 with this philosophy. I don't think I've ruined very many other's meals...but I've ruined plenty of my own.

[trekkor]

Loud kids or loud adults...

We've all seen both.
The management should step in and handle it.
The patrons shouldn't have to take action.


I don't care for dinner that sounds like a circus.

If I was there and it was bothering me, I'd mention it to the management.
If no results, I'd just leave.


I don't go out much...


KT