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Banned
Join Date: Feb 2002
Posts: 6,930
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I need to write a speech please help.
My old friend Dustin is getting hitched and he asked me to be his best man. What kind of speech is one supposed to write for this?
Some background, They have been dating for 2 months, they are getting hitched IN A BAR, by a justice of the peace, and its next weekend. The woman is literally the dumbest human I have ever met. She actually said to me a few weeks ago "did you know there were 50 states"  I am having trouble digesting this and its making it hard to think of a speech. Any pointers guys?? Please?? |
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08-15-2008, 10:04 AM
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just get really drunk and improvise. Like he's apparently doing with his marriage...
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08-15-2008, 10:12 AM
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Join Date: May 2005
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 909
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Four score and seven years ago..........
would be as appropriate as anything else in this situation 
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2002 Boxster Speed Yellow |
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08-15-2008, 10:27 AM
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Seldom Seen Member
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: California
Posts: 3,584
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Quote:
This is a great intro. Wrap it up with "I wish them many days or weeks of happiness."
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Why do things that happen to white trash always happen to me? Got nachos? |
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08-15-2008, 10:30 AM
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Get drunk and complain about him getting everything, and all you got was guitar lessons. Then fall off the bar.
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08-15-2008, 10:32 AM
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Quote:
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08-15-2008, 10:36 AM
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08-15-2008, 10:38 AM
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Maryland
Posts: 31,686
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Tag the fiancee before the wedding, share the experience during your speech at the rehearsal dinner.
He'll be glad you did. 
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1996 FJ80. Last edited by Seahawk; 08-15-2008 at 04:50 PM.. |
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08-15-2008, 10:45 AM
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Custom User Title
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Miami
Posts: 4,294
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Let the booze do the talking.
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08-15-2008, 10:45 AM
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Quote:
internet access to upload to youtube: $10 knowing you saved him a ton in alimony: priceless Last edited by nostatic; 08-15-2008 at 10:54 AM.. |
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08-15-2008, 10:51 AM
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Super Jenius
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Syracuse, NY
Posts: 3,491
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I think Nostatic's observation would be a great intro:
"You know, when Dustin asked me to be his best man, I was honored. He and I go back (fill in blank). But I was also petrified, knowing I'd be expected to give the "Best Man" speech. At first, in keeping with the spirit of the ceremony, I thought I'd just get drunk and wing it. But then I thought somebody should take this seriously... so (pulling paper out of jacket pocket) ...." The last line might be too much; but if it's videod, it will be a YouTube classic in no time. JP
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2003 SuperCharged Frontier ../.. 1979 930 ../.. 1989 BMW 325iX ../.. 1988 BMW M5 ../.. 1973 BMW 2002 ../..1969 Alfa Boattail Spyder ../.. 1961 Morris Mini Cooper ../..2002 Aprilia RSV Mille ../.. 1985 Moto Guzzi LMIII cafe ../.. 2005 Kawasaki Brute Force 750 |
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08-15-2008, 10:54 AM
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i have done it twice. the first time, i absolutely sucked. the second time, i made the groom's family cry in happiness. the bride got all teary eyed. if the maid of honor wasnt a recovering crack addict, co dependent, psycho...it would have been a home run.
all i did was write key words on a card...first was my name. you have to remember to introduce yourself..then single words to help you remember stories...it flows better.
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poof! gone |
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08-15-2008, 10:59 AM
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Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: I'm out there.
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My work here is nearly finished.
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08-15-2008, 11:19 AM
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Detached Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: southern California
Posts: 26,964
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[QUOTE=slakjaw;4121938]"did you know there were 50 states"QUOTE]
"Were", did we lose some? I like what Moses suggested.
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Hugh |
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08-15-2008, 11:25 AM
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Did you get the memo?
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Wichita, KS
Posts: 32,834
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Start drinking when you get up in the morning. Things will work themselves out.
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‘07 Mazda RX8-8 Past: 911T, 911SC, Carrera, 951s, 955, 996s, 987s, 986s, 997s, BMW 5x, C36, C63, XJR, S8, Maserati Coupe, GT500, etc |
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08-15-2008, 11:29 AM
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Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Linn County, Oregon
Posts: 48,684
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Moses gets my vote as well...plus, easy as hell to remember your speech.
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"Now, to put a water-cooled engine in the rear and to have a radiator in the front, that's not very intelligent." -Ferry Porsche (PANO, Oct. '73) (I, Paul D. have loved this quote since 1973. It will remain as long as I post here.) |
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08-15-2008, 11:30 AM
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 4,844
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Quote:
god that was FUNNY!!!! LMFAO! |
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08-15-2008, 12:07 PM
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drag racing the short bus
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Location, Location...
Posts: 21,983
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Yeah. You have your work cut out for you during the ceremony...that is if you're sober.
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The Terror of Tiny Town |
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08-15-2008, 12:10 PM
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Did you get the memo?
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Wichita, KS
Posts: 32,834
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Quote:
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‘07 Mazda RX8-8 Past: 911T, 911SC, Carrera, 951s, 955, 996s, 987s, 986s, 997s, BMW 5x, C36, C63, XJR, S8, Maserati Coupe, GT500, etc |
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08-15-2008, 12:18 PM
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drag racing the short bus
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Location, Location...
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Quote:
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The Terror of Tiny Town |
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08-15-2008, 12:39 PM
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1979 Porsche 911SC 3.0
