I'm with that. Just tell your kid to avoid him, there are plenty of other kids to play with.
I would not get involved with this kids mess. The world is just too weird these days to get involved with his parents and teachers and stuff. None of your biz.

your son doesn't have the maturity level to help this kid so the selfish thing to do (and what i'd do) is to tell your son to move on. cut ties completely.

scary stuff. do agree that you should talk to the parent and give them a heads up.

and ditto on being on the lookout for predators at organized childrens activities (churches in particular).

The thing is, if the school found out that he was doing this he would be kicked out period. He would also be kicked out of scouts. My Wife is pretty pissed at this whole thing. She wants me to talk to his mom. She even provided me this great bunch of things to say lasting 10 minutes. I finally said, "You are really good at this, why don't you talk to her?" So she is going to talk to her today about it.

I told him to freeze him out - not to have anything to do with him at all and avoid him like he has the bird flu.

Lube, I wouldn't lose sight of the fact that he's 9 years old. IMO that is a bit too early for what some of the other posters' have suggested. Something's obviously "not right" with the kid, but who knows what his reason is. Keeping it "unofficial" is logical, but the kid needs help imo. I also concur with your son simply keeping his distance as he's way to young to deal with this. Is it really your (or your wife's) place to get in the middle of it? I dunno, but I'd do the same thing, and at least make sure the mother knows what's going on...good luck!

Or you could MAN UP and talk to the kid's DAD.

Tagging the kid at 9 years old as GAY is out of line. However, with what he is doing something is a little amiss. I wouldn't leave it to the school to deal with, that's the easy cop-out that leads nowhere.

I don't know what is the best thing to do other than the fact that if one of our kids was doing wierd stuff I would want to know.

Wife called, she talked to the kids mom, the mom is beside herself and will get into him over it.

I'm going to make a WAG that the mom is raising the kid solo. Is that the case Lube?

The Dad doesn't seem to be around much - not sure why. I don't know the details but a few years ago he was active in soccer, football and scouts now he is MIA.

Could be something to do with Dad being AWOL and I realize my reply was a bit harsh. The reality is that if your son hangs around with the kid that much then you are fine giving a call to the other kids mom or dad. That's different than being a nosey neighbor or someone who just happened to see a one time event.

The kids Mom may be angry or frustrated and it may get vented back on you. Just realize she's probably upset but would likely rather know that not. I know I would.

We had a church class for the scouts on Sunday and the boy was in it. He was pretty disruptive but not the worst. His momma grounded him for his actions. I can only imagine what punishment he will get now.

My father, who never made ANY attempt to see me once i was older and who i last saw when i was about 5yrs old just after my parents split up (i can understand when i was subject to the whim of my mother and stepfather and i don't begrudge him for that time period) rec'd awards and recognition for his involvement with his OTHER kids (second wife) soccer program. Of course i found out at his funeral which i only knew about because a neighbor happened to work with....well long story but it was luck that i found out in time for his funeral. Anyways i was stunned to hear/read all of this. Daggon superdad to the last two kids and yet there is another child of his wandering the earth fatherless. I'm in tears the first time my own son says 'daddy' because i have NEVER been able to use the word yet this man is the greatest thing since sliced bread?

The point of that, other than to vent, is that i'm not so sure parental involvement is proof of quality of life.

Poor kid, i hope it works out okay whatever the problem. If there is an issue with 'dad' now at age 9 i suspect it would be even tougher than never having had one at all.

I've been fortunate as both of my parents are still around (I'm 48) and always have been . I would venture that the dad's recent MIA status has something to do with his behavior, and I'm certainly qualified to opine as I have a keyboard and internet access :). Having your dad go MIA (particularly at that age), imo, would be worse than never having him in the picture at all.

Chances are he is acting out and mistreating people because the same is happening to him, at 9 he does not know any better. Don't tolerate the actions around you and your kids and keep his mom informed of his actions especially if it get worse.
Come on guys GAY at 9 leave the kid alone!!

Ya, not so sure he is gay - but even if, our Son is hetro and he doesn;t go around grab'n girls privates! Sump'ns up.

Though all the scenarios listed above are possible, the most likely one is that this kid just has atrocious manners.

He acts up, mouths off, gets a reaction and gets away with it. He tags someone in the privates - gets a reaction and gets away with it.

He is nine. He has behaved badly and gotten away with it. He clearly does not understand that his actions are UNACCEPTABLE. It will likely come as quite a shock when this is explained to him and his parental units in very clear terms to

Keep your hands to yourself. Period.

angela

Mike,

This boy is obviously suffering from something. From what you describe it sound like he has low self esteem. This can come from a multitude of things but he is suffering and now he is making his friends suffer too.

I don´t know the American way of communicating, but from my horizon the natural thing to do would be to talk with his parents. Telling them you are concern with their boy and his behavior. Stress the point that you are worried about THEIR son.

Obviously your own son should try to avoid this boy as long as he is hurting him.

One question: Is this boy displaying this behavior only in school or also in your home? Only or more often in groups or also when alone with your son?

pretty much all the time - he is a very bright kid with a very quick wit but he is also unsupervised from my perspective. I'm thinking it is a combo of above avergae intel and something happened and lack of supervision at home - all breeds a bad scene however you look at it

I think Angela may be on to it. We had a kid in junior high that thought it was funny to smack you in the balls. I didn't think he was queer, I thought he was an assshole. He did it to me and I punched him in the mouth. He didn't do it to anyone after that.

I opt for the ass kicking followed by a chat with the folks.