Son's Friend Acting Strange, Violent
 

One of our Son's friends has been acting rather strange as of late. We have known him for a few years now - same scout den/patrol, skate board camp, school. He has been to our home several times and our Son to his. We know his parents pretty good. The kid is a bit of a wiseguy, cracking wise from time to time and gets into his share of trouble in school - mostly for talking out of turn or wise cracking. Lately he has be grabbing some of the other boys (including our Son) by the nads.

Our Son told me about it saying that "he's acting gay Dad, but he's my friend and I don't want to tell on him or punch him or anything". He has also been acting pretty aggresive to the other boys. I'm thinking either he needs a talking to by his folks about personal space or he needs an arsekicken by one or more of the other boys. My wife thinks option 1 is the better choice. I would opt for #2.

My Wife also thinks I should talk to his mom about it. Geez, I don't want to do that. I would rather have the boys work it out. I told our Son to freeze him out -don't have anything to do with him. Don't talk to him - nothing. If he goes near you, walk away. If he asks whats wrong you tell him that he isn't being cool.

Or he could punch his nose and thats that...

Drugs?

I don't think so - he is 9 but ya never know...

Acting out cause someone's maybe doing things to him that they should not be?

You should talk to the mom.

I'm with stomachmonkey on this.

How the heck do ya tee that up?

"Listen honey, we need to talk about that future fluffer son of yours....."

All that organized stuff ain't always the most healthy.

Predators actively seek situations that give them trusted access to kids, counselors, coaches, teachers etc...

Happened just recently to a friend.

Her sons karate instructor turned out to be a ped. Had cameras hidden in the Dojo, the whole deal.

Friend used to let her kids go out of state with the guy for competitions.

Nothing happened with her kid but a couple of others in the Dojo were not so lucky.

Scary stuff out there.

The kid is in lots of organized stuff plus is folks are a bit lax.

This is a tough one. You might consider talking to the school Principal - they could watch out and take independent action. Good luck.

I have two sons, now 12 and 18. I think this is something this young man was subject to and now he is reacting to what happened, it's not something he thought up it was something he was taught.

Maybe your son could confront him in a freindly way.

"Hey man your're a friend and I'm worried about you, lets talk at lunch."
If something is going on he needs friends, not to be shut out.

Then get him some help from the social worker.

at 9, who he might have problems at home, maybe his parents are fighting every night and he has no ways to cope other then act out in this way....

telling the school principle is one way, but from news reports in the US i've seen, what are the chances he'll be registered as a sex offender at his age..?? no , i'm not kidding here, we've all seen those news reports about a young kid playing doctor and ending up like that...

talking to the parents , might be a problem too if they are the ones with problems at home, behind closed doors...

is there a school councelor who might deal with it with discretion??

My only advice is to be very careful re what you may "think" the problem is and, subsequently, any action you may take based on an assumption; it could by one of many things and not necessarily what some have suggested above.

Obviously something seems wrong and some action needs to be taken, just be careful and cautious.

2¢

could still be drugs at 9 -- in fact, parents puttheir kids on drugs (medicine) & those sometimes have side effects.

you might troll for answers from his parents... "How is XX doing these days?"

YOur son needs to out & out TELL him - "hey, don't do that."

do nothing else before that is made plain.

A gay skateboarder with violent tendencies? I think I would simply tell my boy to avoid him like the plague.

no

I would go see her, tell her I am concerned about little Johnny's behavior. This is what he is doing, here is why I am worried.

Dipso???

He's 9....Tobra is spot on!

You read my mind ;)