Hitting Kids as a form of Punishment

M.D. Holloway · 10-05-2008, 08:03 PM

Quote:

The majority of parents in the U.K. today think it improper to smack children.
The other day I was talking to one of my colleagues about methods used to discipline children.

We talked about time-outs, grounding, holding back rewards until the child displayed desired behavior, etc. One of the things we discussed was the act of smacking and my friend explained that no, he does not smack any of his children.

He explained that what he does is to take the misbehaving child out for a ride in the car and talk. He said that usually this works and that the child calms down fairly quickly and really doesn't take too much time.

By removing the child, in this case his son, from the immediate situation and providing a change of scenery, the child is allowed to focus on something different. Once the child has the opportunity to change perspective, things quickly get better; the child has better understanding of his place within the family and begins to understand the family''s concept of acceptable behavior.

He kindly shared a picture of the process, which I share with you now.

trekkor · 10-05-2008, 08:27 PM

'You gotta do, what you gotta do' , said my wife after a laugh.

KT

kstar · 10-05-2008, 08:29 PM

There's never a need or situation to strike a child with a firm hand, switch or whip.

Tasers are quite effective and humane, though.

Tobra · Tobra's Garage

My dad made me and my siblings get out of the car in the Middle of Wyoming in December and walk on the shoulder in the snow when we would not quit yapping at one another.

They did not have to beat us much, perhaps not enough

Generally there are better ways, I would rather get beaten than get stuck in some time out thing personally

trekkor · 10-05-2008, 08:45 PM

In all seriousness, a spanking is different than a beating.

I've never had a beating. I know people that have...

KT

onewhippedpuppy · 10-06-2008, 05:14 AM

How is he going 99 in park?

Mo_Gearhead · 10-06-2008, 05:33 AM

Take 'em to the lake.

Clay Perrine · 10-06-2008, 06:10 AM

There is a big difference between spanking a butt with an open hand and beating a child.

A few million years of evolution has hardwired into us a functional negative feedback setup. If you touch a hot stove, the pain caused will make you remember never to do that again. If you swat a little one on the butt with your open hand when he/she tries to run in the street, they will remember the pain and not do it when you are not around to yank them from in front of the oncoming bus.

A "Timeout" doesn't work. The kid just sits there bored until the time expired, and they forget it within 30 seconds of getting up. Or worse, the positive feedback loop that everyone thinks is so wonderful results in more and more extreme behavior on the part of the kid, and more and more frustration on the part of the parents. I watched two little boys running through the isles of the local grocery store in a contest to see who could grab the coupon from the automatic dispenser first. When I complained to the store manager, he said that he couldn't do anything, because the parents would not. And their mother was ignoring them completely! My parents would have spanked me right then and there. Now a parent that spanks their child risks getting thrown in jail for abuse!!

I am not a big religious person, but the bible has a lot of good old fashioned common sense in it. One of which is... "spare the rod, spoil the child". We are raising a nation of spoiled brats.

Rick Lee · Rick Lee's Garage

I had never heard of a time out until about 10 yrs. ago. It didn't exist in my childhood. Ditto for grounding. Never happened to me. We had corporal punishment in school and I always knew I could expect a second helping when I got home and showed my folks the sign sheet for having gotten spanked in school. I made sure to never get spanked in school.

Once I got older, when my parents really wanted my attention, they took my guitar away for a week. No worse punishment in the world.

HardDrive · 07:49 AM

I don't spank my daughter, but I will certainly grab her by the arm firmly and tell her, "Your going to stop, NOW". I used to give her a smack on the butt when she was younger, but as she has gotten older I don't. She's almost 5, and I think striking her would be humiliating for her.

But in the words of a great leader, "ALL options are on the table".

I agree with the 'spare the rod, spoil the child' idea. My wife and I feel that we don't need to spank our daughter because when she was young, we did. The message was clear, if we tell you no, we mean business. If she was doing something bad, there was going to be a consequence. Same is true today, but we find we just don't need to physically hit her. In fact, we have tried to even stop raising our voices. But there are SO many freaking kids that we encounter....just rotten brats. No limits, and the parents just smile and enable the whole thing.

Theres a reason we send our daughter to a Catholic preschool, even though neither of us is Christian. We want her to learn about limits and being a member of a group. So many Seattle parents are teaching their children to be little narcissistic monsters.

JeremyD · JeremyD's Garage

a little pop on the a$s never hurt anybody.

charleskieffner · 10-06-2008, 06:51 AM

when my kids lied or stole................THE BELT ON THE BARE BUTT! nothing more than what i got when i was a kid and screwed up big time.

now when i got older and i thought i was hot poo............my old man and me got into it one night. i took a swing which was deflected by him..............AND THE NEXT THING I KNEW I SAW THE ENTIRE SOLAR SYSTEM LYING ON MY BACK! OUT ******* COLD!

now considering im 6'3, and my dad was about 5'11, you would think WTF?

well after spending 5 years during WWII in new guinea/biak/luzon/saipan as an army sargent...........he knew QUITE ABIT MORE THAN ME ABOUT HAND TO HAND COMBAT! like to the death........(mano y mano)HAND TO HAND COMBAT!

one of those classic WTF was i thinking!!!!!!

never have i thrown a punch at either of my kids. BUT THERE HAVE BEEN MOMENTS WITH MY OLDER SPAWN, THAT IN RETROSPECT I MAYBE SHOULD HAVE!

needless to say my dad NEVER EVER HAD PROBLEMS WITH ME AGAIN!

funny how that werks?????????????

onewhippedpuppy · 10-06-2008, 07:28 AM

Spank your kid a few times, after that the simple threat of spanking will straighten them up 90% of the time. I very rarely spank my son, but the threat normally gets his attention. Timeouts? Yeah, that's a waste of both of our time.

Mo_Gearhead · 07:32 AM

Funny ...looking back at his topic.

My mother (divorced, just after my birth) had to raise my older sister and myself by herself (she never re-married). In the 1950's, most here would probably agree, you got spanked or worse. No Dr. Phill, Dr. Spock, self-help books, etc.

My cousins (farm raised) had to go out and trim their own 'switch' from a tree or bush and bring it to their father. The delicious part of that had to be the 'mental anguish' involved. (Kinda like making a death row inmate perform their own pre-check on the electric chair settings?) The 'switch' was applied to bare legs. Damn that stung!

For major f'ups my mother's weapon of choice was the dreaded ...BELT! Damn that stung!

RE: Mental anguish in reverse. I forget now the cause of my sister and my knowing we were soon to be in trouble. Something major we did. So we went to the closet, removed ALL the belts from their normal hanging position and hid them. My mother, upon discovering the unseemly deed ...walked to the closet, ripped open the door and stared in disbelief at the empty hooks. She turned to us (sitting on the couch watching her, frozen in fear, yet smiling at her surprised look) ...and she broke out in laughter.

Only happened once. (sigh)

elwood-914 · 10-06-2008, 07:32 AM

My daughter who was our first was a bit stubborn. The last time I spanked her was when she was 3.
My son, I never spanked, even when he was a toddler I would just talk to him and tell him "Why you are not to do this" he would shake his head and go on about his day.
Two different kids, 2 different ways to disapline.
My daughter hated time outs.

the · 10-06-2008, 07:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clay Perrine

I am not a big religious person, but the bible has a lot of good old fashioned common sense in it. One of which is... "spare the rod, spoil the child".

Of all the nonsense in the bible, that's one of the biggest.

HardDrive · 10-06-2008, 07:48 AM

My mom used to go after me with a big flat wooden brush.....ouch.

daepp · 10-06-2008, 07:52 AM

Spanked each of three kids at least once. None got more than three. Ever. That was all it took. Always an openhanded swat on the rear. Always a long talk before. The longer the talk the better, cuz they got to stew a bit. Their worry about the spanking was ALWAYS worse than the spanking.

They are now 17, 15 and 13. They are good, happy and respectful. I wouldn't change a thing.

(And I cannot understand those who think there's something wrong with this method.)

9dreizig · 10-06-2008, 08:04 AM

My mom always used one of those paddles that had the rubber band and the ball on it,, of course they broke in about 10 min and the only thing they were used for after that was putting us kids in our place......

JavaBrewer · JavaBrewer's Garage

Both of our kids earned 2-3 open handed swats to the rear when they were 3-6 yrs old and it was always done in private. It was more of an attention getter than physical punishment. After 6 yrs they graduated to more mature punishment as described by Rick.