have you ever fallen for your SO's loaded questions?

[vash]

hahah. my friend's wife asked him, who he thought was her best looking friend? he answered without pausing! hahahaha. he is still in trouble. why do women bait us like that? dont they know that we are big dumb animals?

i am not that dumb. all of my wife's friends are sasquatches!

[legion]

Whenever my wife does that, I intentionally answer with the worst answer I can think of.

"Does this make me look fat?"

"No...it's not the outfit."

[gassy]

I hope she didn't ask you that at the range.

[wcc]

why do women bait us like that?

Because they're insecure...

[p911dad]

Clearly beginners! You forgot to say that wives or girlfriends never forget, either! All that will come back to haunt you, even years later. Never, never, never rise to the bait of a comment on an other woman's appearance, thoughts, anything. Even if you say something negative, you are being harsh or mean. It's all bad. There is no right answer, except, "I'm sorry dear, I haven't really noticed.." "Say, did I mention you really look nice tonight?"

[cl8ton]

What are your plans for this weekend always nails me!
I answer like a dam dear in headlights

[911Rob]

My wife got me drunk 'one night' and after 25 years, she still has not forgotten!

Oh well, she knew what she was getting, before she got it

[M.D. Holloway]

Here are a few she has tried on me

Wife: "Who do you think is my hottest friend?"

Me: "David"

Wife: "Seriously!"

Me: "You mean you don't think he's hot? I do. Come on, you wouldn't do him if you were single, had a few drinks in ya, feeling all that and a box of donuts!"


another

Wife: "Does this swim suit make me look fat?"

Me: "Pull off the top."

Wife: "Seriously now!"

Me: "I am serious, take off your top! And while your at it the bottoms as well."

Wife: "I'm not asking you anything ever again!"

Me: "So I don't get to see your yittys?"


and then there is the never ending accusations to which I blame the kids or the dog regardless of how insane or impossable.

At some point they give up. Really, they do!

[Drdogface]

It's not those kind of questions that get to me..they never really come up....but to cop an'attitude from nowhere' is a killer. WTF did I do ??? !!!

[Heel n Toe]

LOL... Lube, those are primo.

Got any more?

I'm racking my brain... I can't think of anything like these that the present wife has sprung on me that went bad. She's not into games, and I'm just as smart as she is... smarter, if you count street smarts.

First wife was... "difficult at times" is putting it mildly... very much a "cop an attitude out of nowhere" type.

She was raised in a very dysfunctional and confrontational family that didn't think anything of "raising their voice" in an attempt to win an argument... her pop was an alcoholic... neither parent had much education; that didn't help.

Her dad is sober now, though... he cleaned up during the time after my wife was diagnosed with cancer and his wife was slowly dying of emphysema... he's been a totally different person ever since... at least both of them got to see that before they died.

[equality72521]

I like to mess with my wife. One night she was setting the alarm and the radio station had Shania Twain singing and I hate country music (but not her). I said "CHANGE THAT STATION" and she said "What? You don't want to wake up to Shania Twain?" and I replied "no, I want to wake up WITH Shania Twain." She said she hated me and wasn't talking to me anymore. @ minutes later she said something and I reminded her of her previous statement.

[equality72521]

Another one. I always joke with her and say kiss me baby, nothing makes me sick! One day she had a cold and I said that and gave her a kiss. Damned if I didn't get sick. She laughed and told me I couldn't use that line anymore. I said yeah, you're right. Now I'll have to say kiss me baby, you're the only thing that makes me sick. She said "dammit, you got me again."

[ChrisBennet]

I've always just been honest and trained her to expect it. I do try to use humor to lessen the bite. For example:

Q: "What do you think of this outfit?"
A: "*I* really like it, but I think everyone else will think it look slutty".
or I say in a fashion runway announcer voice
A: "New for spring, it's the look that say Trailer Park!"

Q: "Does this make me look fat?"
A: I make circus big top noises. Circus music is our code for "Circus Fat (lady)".

Q: "What do you think of these shoes?"
A: "I don't like them with a goat, I don't like them on a boat. I don't like them on a box. I don't like them with a fox. I don't like them in the rain. I don't like them on a train. I don't like those shoes much at all."

Her: "If you worked in town you'd be close to ___ (woman who has a crush on me). You could have an affair."
Me: "Yeah right, that's my fantasy. Disappoint *2* women at the same time"

Q: "Which one of us do you think is smarter?" (She was on the phone with her sister and caught me walking by.)
A: Without missing a beat I said, "Well duh. *I* am. Look who you picked for a mate."

-Chris

[Shadetree930]

I got asked the "Is my ass fat?" question the other day. My response was "I like big butts!"

[M.D. Holloway]

One bone of contention is the speed (or lack there of) to finish a garage/yard job. I am a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to cleaning up and she has yet (in 15 years) to understand that. I will be 3/4 into the job and she is yapping at how long it takes me. Recently when she starts in I drop what I am doing and go inside leaving a the work still in progress. "what are you doing?" "Exactly what you want me to do - leave a job half done so that you can complain about my shoddy ability at a later date. I'm just tryiong to help ya out here..."


The worst is prolly the front seat driving my Wife does. I always drive (for good reasons) and she is always on me for how I drive - too slow, to fast, hard corners, soft corners - you name it. I just repsond to her that "she gets what she pays for...next time grab a cab!" It doesn;t stop her but at least it gives me sump'n to say.

[KaptKaos]

Years ago, my wife, then girlfriend, and I would play a game where we'd pick people out of crowds and say "that's your girlfriend" or "that's your boyfriend". I'd pick flamingly gay guys or homeless guys for her, and, much to my appreciation, she'd pick nice chicks for me.

One day playing this game, she picked my ex-gf out of a crowd. We didn't play that game much after that. LOL

[equality72521]

Originally Posted by LubeMaster77

The worst is prolly the front seat driving my Wife does. I always drive (for good reasons) and she is always on me for how I drive - too slow, to fast, hard corners, soft corners - you name it. I just repsond to her that "she gets what she pays for...next time grab a cab!" It doesn;t stop her but at least it gives me sump'n to say.

http://www.jibjab.com/view/64156