An open letter to Ferrari Guy

HardDrive · 10-18-2008, 09:52 PM

Dear Ferrari Guy,

I know you don't know me, but I live on 41st street in Seattle. You must live just over the hill where the really rich folks live, because you come past my house on the way into town. Let me start by saying that your Ferrari is BAD ASS. If I'm not mistaken its an F430 Spider. Just beautiful. The dark gray with burgundy leather looks very nice. Much better than than the typical red/yellow with a black interior. And that exhaust note! The way it barks when you start up the hill...heaven.

Unfortunately there is another issue to discuss here. When you are driving the car with the top down, could I recommend that you wear a hat? I'm thinking a simple baseball cap from your favorite sports team would too. I don't know, perhaps guys at your income level don't have baseball caps. If thats the case, feel free to stop by and I will hook you up.

The hat thing? Well, the problem is your big ass bald head. If it was just a regular guy, with a regular bald head, well thats fine. But....its freaking huge. And you not a short guy either. So you have this beautiful car, but all people really notice is your gigantic pumpkinesqe head sticking up like a fecking radar dome above the car. It literally looks like the Jack In The Box guy is driving around in his Ferrari. And thats a shame.

Lets face facts, there is a certain type of woman out there who will let you know her in a biblical sense merely because you own such a vehicle. But I promise you friend, you will spend more time making the beast with two backs if you just cover Mount Cueball with some sort of covering.

Side note, while I understand it, you really should get that goofy self concious grin off your face while your driving the car as well. Its not cool dude. Trust me, if I owned the vehicle, I would probably be driving around grinning with Mr. Chubby on board all day too. But if you have a car like that, it really take away from the 'I'm a Playa' mystique to have a giant pale sphere with teeth sticking off your shoulders in the drivers seat.

In closing, nice car, get a hat.

Your distant neighbor,
HardDrive.

dd74 · 10-18-2008, 09:58 PM

Seattle-area bald guy? Steve Balmer, perhaps?

DasBoot · 10-18-2008, 11:25 PM

LOL. I saw a guy yesterday in a Cobra replica. He had the requisite, late middle-age man "walrus" mustache and a "mop cut" (kinda like Moe of the Three Stooges). However, in the middle of this hairdo was a huge bald-spot.

So, he's tooling along in his Cobra at speed, attempting to look cool, but the hair on his head is flopping around like a cheerleaders pom-pom. Freakin' hilarious. I couldn't tell you any details of the car as my attention was glued to that flopping/flapping thing on his head.

Dude...GET A HAT!

gassy · 10-19-2008, 09:26 AM

Jeez, I guess us Porsche owners ARE dicks.

cab83_750 · 10-19-2008, 09:38 AM

A few years ago, I used to get upset seeing "old" people drive sports car. We are talking about old, bald, etc. But the bald one really was getting to me.

I got over this issue when someone said, "Baldness complements sports cars as they are more aerodynamic."

I really do not mind anymore even though like HardDrive, it looks 'interesting.'

p.s.,

I made every effort in buying my sports cars very early in my life......plus, at 40's I still have very very thick hair!!!!!

BRPORSCHE · 10-19-2008, 09:47 AM

Wow, so what about the 21 year old driving a 20 year old sports car? Got a thing 'gainst me too?

Dooood....it's a Ferrari. He can do whatever he wants. Bald, or not.

HardDrive · 10-19-2008, 09:54 AM

Seriously, I am not merely picking on the guy because of his bald head. Plenty of older guys have lost their hair, and I am slowly joining them. Frankly I think better of a guy if he lets it go naturally.

But the size of this guys head, and the fact that he probably stands 6'4". Ferrari's were not designed by the tallest group of guys on the planet. He looks like giant bald action figure crammed into a toy car.

DasBoot · 10-19-2008, 09:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BRPORSCHE

Wow, so what about the 21 year old driving a 20 year old sports car? Got a thing 'gainst me too?

No. Only that you're a video-gaming, MySpace obsessed, perpetually texting, clueless embryo. That's all.

cab83_750 · 10-19-2008, 10:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BRPORSCHE

Wow, so what about the 21 year old driving a 20 year old sports car? Got a thing 'gainst me too?

Dooood....it's a Ferrari. He can do whatever he wants. Bald, or not.

I agree with you. However, sometimes "a spandex (or a bikini underwear) does not fit well on a 300 lbs millionaire. " Better yet, imagine Gazillionaire Bill Gates at 300 lbs wearing thongs! Does it fit? As he is gazillionaire, he can do what he wants.

BRPORSCHE · 10-19-2008, 10:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DasBoot

No. Only that you're a video-gaming, MySpace obsessed, perpetually texting, clueless embryo. That's all.

Your close. More like women crazy, facebook obsessed, perpetually texting, driving prodigy embryo. That's more like it.

And if Mr. Gates gave me a .00000000000000000009 of his wealth I would pick the thong out from in between his butt cheeks

Yeah, I wouldn't of gotten the spyder if I was 6'4". Clarkson said it perfectly, "you'll just look stupid." Bald man should of opted for the scud.

Blanco · 10-19-2008, 10:26 AM

I thought you were going to hammer him on his wear... ie, Ferrari pants, shirt, shoes, and hat. You guys know what I'm talking about.

onewhippedpuppy · 10-19-2008, 10:31 AM

I think it was also Clarkson that said, "ugly people shouldn't drive convertibles". In a coupe you are well hidden, to avoid terrifying children with your bald head and age spots. But in a convertible, you're out there for all the world to see. Exactly why you won't find me in a convertible.

pwd72s · 10-19-2008, 10:32 AM

I could loan him my NRA-ILA hat....

URY914 · URY914's Garage

I'll post this on FerrariChat for you.

Paul K · Paul K's Garage

Quote:

Originally Posted by URY914

I'll post this on FerrariChat for you.

LOL, I was wondering when someone would suggest that.

Sarc · 10-19-2008, 12:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HardDrive

Your distant neighbor,
HardDrive.

P.S.-If you could turn down the Dave Matthews when you pass by I'd really appreciate it as well, mmm-kaayy?

Bill Douglas · 10-19-2008, 03:12 PM

This guy sounds alright. Sure a gold chain flapping around in the breeze etc winds some people up. BUT he's not as bad as the guy I sent an open letter to a few years ago who drove a Blue Targa - yes a Porsche. Well this guy I really had to tell him off. Each morning he was in traffic coming the other way picking his nose - and I mean every day. Have beakfast before you leave the house I say.

cab83_750 · 10-19-2008, 03:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bill Douglas

This guy sounds alright. Sure a gold chain flapping around in the breeze etc winds some people up. BUT he's not as bad as the guy I sent an open letter to a few years ago who drove a Blue Targa - yes a Porsche. Well this guy I really had to tell him off. Each morning he was in traffic coming the other way picking his nose - and I mean every day. Have beakfast before you leave the house I say.

Bill,

The guys was having his daily breakast. Ever heard of booger-breakfast?.....hmmm, salty!!!

Seahawk · 10-19-2008, 04:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sarc

P.S.-If you could turn down the Dave Matthews when you pass by I'd really appreciate it as well, mmm-kaayy?

Thanks for that...I just got back from a Redskins game any needed the laugh.

crustychief · crustychief's Garage

Quote:

Originally Posted by BRPORSCHE

Your close. More like women crazy, facebook obsessed, perpetually texting, driving prodigy embryo. That's more like it.

And if Mr. Gates gave me a .00000000000000000009 of his wealth I would pick the thong out from in between his butt cheeks

Yeah, I wouldn't of gotten the spyder if I was 6'4". Clarkson said it perfectly, "you'll just look stupid." Bald man should of opted for the scud.

I don't think that is much money.