Menopause.........WTF?!
 

So about two months ago my mother-in-law lost her damn mind. She's always been a bit of a delicate flower, pretty much incapable of dealing with adversity. However, this is especially nutty. She has been essentially creating something out of nothing, worrying about non-existent problems. Basically she's been crying for two months straight and driving everyone insane. Unfortunately thanks to my wife being close to her mother, it's driving me insane by proxy.

It's happened once before when she was pregnant with her 10th child (yes 10th). The kid was an accident and she freaked out. She basically spent the next 9 months in bed, convinced that both the baby and herself would die. At the time my wife was still at home, so she had to serve as mother to 8, full-time student, and hold a job. Anyway, it's basically the same thing this time. For what it's worth, apparently her mom went through a similar episode for an extended period of time (years).

So, long story short, she went to the doctor and is "officially" in stage 2 of menopause (whatever that means). Is her behavior due to her somewhat delicate nature, or is this common with women and menopause? Honestly, I don't currently have much sympathy for her, as I'm not much for wallowing in self pity. So am I a callous ass, or is she making something out of nothing? 28 years old, this menopause nonsense is news to me.:p

Welcome to your future. :)

The chemical inbalance is legit, and in my nonmedical background opinion it is best that this does not got go unmonitored (so it sounds like the right action is being taken) In my experience, this phase was the first step in a downward spiral of nuttiness--> anger--> hate, and undiagnosed mental illness. Add a brainwashing svenagli and shake and you've got the recipe for a family fracture beyond repair.

Not to be Capt. Bringdown, just spekaing from personal experience, just be sure to support your wife anyway you can free of sarcasm or condition, which I'm sure you will. She will be eternally grateful.

Matt: You are 28?? I always took you for 52..

good luck.
xanax might be your new friend.

Dude,

Menopause is like the hormone freight train.

Definitely physical and not much she can do about it on her own or without meds. And them even the meds don't always work.

I have two daughters, an ex-wife, four sisters and a Mom. I sincerely feel sorry for females.

She's already been into the doctor and been prescribed some meds. Hopefully they can help without leading to addiction.:eek:

I'm old at heart.:D

My MIL went pretty insane during that period. She began believing (and still does) that angels were everywhere watching her so she had to behave. Really bizarre.

My own mother bought a horse, divorced my father, and ran off with a guy who was a few months out of federal prison. The guy ended up dying of hypothermia in the back of her pickup truck as he got stinking drunk and refused to get in the cab of the truck during the rain as they were driving to Florida.

In both cases the women's personalities changed forever.

Whoa! That's crazy Legion.

Sounds like a country song.:D

Been through it with my own wife. They get pretty nutz. After that sex goes out the window. They put mine on Paxil, and in the end it made her even crazier. When she tried to get off it she was sick for a whole year. At first I was doin' the "poor me's" but I got over it. Now I just have the "Oh wells".
She is better now but not the same person in a lot of ways. She is my soul mate of 27 years, and we have a lot of things that we still share so even though at times I have felt like just going out for a pack of smokes and never coming back I don't. I have worked too hard to get where I'm at in my life just to give it up for some strange poon. It's just the way things are, and I deal with it.

Until a few years ago Hormone Replacement Therapy was the standard answer to menopause. It really evened out the highs and lows then it was determined that HRT greatly increased the risks of certain types of cancer and that was pretty much the end of that. It still may be prescribed today to some females, some of the Docs on this forum could better respond to that.

I know this only because my wife was on HRT for the first couple of years of menopause then went off when the risks became known. She had some minor issues but nothing serious after going off. some women have all kinds of issues and some don't it seems.

Two of our admin. females at work went through it at the same time. We had major battles with them over the A/C setting. It wasn't possible to set it low enough when they were having hot flashes and everyone else was freezing.

They all go a little nuts until they get the hormones to balance...................crazy ride.

Holy Crap.

Greeeat, I am looking forward to this.

Matt, I think your best bet is to buy a new car.

If they don't help, the next step is for you and your wife to get your doc to prescribe you some meds.
:eek: :D
Yes, menopause changes women. Like Chris said; forever.

So does a hysterectomy.

The best way to describe it to someone who hasn't experienced it is to tell them it's like PMS 24/7.

THAT I can handle.:D

My ex g/f and I had a pretty good 6 year relationship until she hit the big M (she was 7 years older than I), and after a couple years of that crap, it was over :(. She changed BIG time and there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it and eventually she "kicked me to the curb" with really no explanation. Physically, her harmones were raging, and she became totally unpredictable from my perspective...I could have walked on water and she'd have b***ed that I couldn't swim :). GOOD LUCK!!!

Sounds like my effing boss.

Only thing worse: A menopasual diabetic.......Ask me how I know????

men can also experience the same variety of hormone imbalance, typically after 35 for us its called Andropause and can be treated with HRT. Hormome Replacement Therapy.

Wifey did the menopause thing in her mid 40's. It was difficult for her. Night sweats, hot flashes, mood swings, anger. She looked at treatments like HRT but too many risks and/or side effects. Eventually went with a mild anti-depressant to help take the edge off on her worst days, and seeing a psychologist. The psychologist helped her understand what was going on and offered some non-medicinal coping strategies. I was as supportive as I could be, but it was a low point. If there are underlying psychological issues it can be doubly rough as these issues can become more pronounced. One suggestion: note your MILs issues and discuss them with your better half. When the time comes, it might help you both get through the inevitable "change of life".

when the road gets tough the tough get going. did they give up when the germans bombed pearl harbor?

time for a road trip!

My wife calls it "Mentalpause". She still sleeps on top of the covers at night due to the hot flashes etc. My buddy married her sister and couldn't take the mood swings and divorced her after 3 years.

Relationships are tough and it takes two to make it work, but only one can "choose" to destroy it if they so desire...unfortunately, I had no "say-so" in the matter after the "change". For you guys in the midst of "dealing with it", you have my sympathy.

That's rich!

IMO, that kinda violates the "for better or worse, in sickness and in health" part of the marriage vows, but I'm not judging your buddy.

And if he asked her to seek help and/or try meds, and she refused (as some people do when others suggest they need help), IMO she would be acting unreasonably.

Yep...it was a tough time for Cindy...still is, sorta..

So can I give my male boss some hormones and he won't be as much of a lunatic?

"Buckle-Up!"

I recommend LARGE doses of estrogen.

Pretty well sums it up for a lot of us older guys.

Thanks, it's nice to know my situation is not unique. Misery loves company.

My wife is starting to go through this as well. She has been on the emotional roller coaster for about a year now. I don't know what is worse, the mood swings, or the "flatness" from the meds. I also said for better or worse, but damn this isn't the woman I married.

say no to ANY SSRI antidepressants. I could write a book on what they do to your life. please say no.
If you don't believe me or feel my case is a "one off" go here..

http://www.quitpaxil.info/

It seems to go with the woman's personality. I used to tell my ex-wife she needed a few grams of b*#ch. So when she went through it she just got weepy all the time. Along with the physical issues.
Damn glad us men folk didn't eat that apple :eek:

remain as unobtrusive as possible


this too shall pass

I really wish you hadn't posted that.:eek:


Welcome to hell. She also had an MRI about one week ago for a small lump. Now they're doing a biopsy next week. She's been down that road before and it was nothing, but with these circumstances she's now convinced that she has cancer.:rolleyes:

Jesus, I can't wait... :rolleyes:

I think it'll be time to look at a separate bedroom in a few years or something. All I know is I'll probably just make myself be as "not around" as possible if it gets bad. Fortunately my MIL is a nice person and didn't seem to get any crazier than usual during it, so maybe that's a good omen. The downside is she's always been a little nutso. Not in a bad way, just kind of loopy and silly, which I actually like (she's fun).

+1

Been there, done that. Still dealing with the fallout.