Kept my job, but far more travel, how do you handle?
 

Well, I kept my job for another week:rolleyes:, the layoffs got a friend of mine, and now I've inherited most of his territory, AND, they have moved the job to NY.

What this means for me is that they want me to spend at least a half of the month in NY, and I'll probably have at least one side trip beyond that.

Travel has always been a part of my job, but never to this extent.

So to those of you who have families (I have 2 boys, 10 and 14) how do you handle this?

I thought about doing every other week in NY, but have recently thought of instead doing Tues through Thurs 3 weeks of the month. That way I can catch all the weekend stuff, and Friday night football games, scouts etc.

BTW, I live in Seattle, so it's not like it's just a quick jaunt into NY.

The only good part is that a friend who has a condo that is rarely used in NY is letting me borrow it when I'm in town. So at least I don't have to do hotels.

Thanks.
Eric

Having a place to leave your work clothes is a big bonus. I ususally spend 2 weeks in a month at a client site. I always leave for home friday mid-day to get home for supper. Weekends are always at home - this has been very important for me and my family (wife and son who is 6). I leave monday morning. I make up the hours that I travel by working late a few days. This i.s not mandatory but why not.

I dont mind the schedule. It suits me just fine. My wife is not thrilled but I am home over 2/3 of the time (counted in days).

Ooof.

Need a regular pad in NY. Extended-stay apartment, etc. Someplace to feel at home, cook, leave your stuff, etc. Living in hotels long term sucks and hard to eat well.

Set up a videochat with the family. Important to see faces every night.

If this is permanent, think about looking for another job - timing subject to realities of economy of course.

Eric,

I did the east/west coast travel thing for about two years. We have two children who were 9 and 13 when it all started. I did not have the option of leaving my stuff on the east coast because I was at a different location every week.

Pack light - carry it is the only way. Weekends are gold, don't let anyone take them away from you.

Don't plan on doing this for very long. You eventually get to the point where your spouse and kids are going nuts, coming home feels like a doing wind sprints in a land mine field, you're exhausted and burned out all of the time.... The turning point comes when an on-coming 18 wheeler drifts into your lane and you decide you aren't going to move.

Fortunately for me, he did move. I found another job and left that one. The economy is tough right now, so you have to do whatever you must to get by. But don't plan on this as a long term employment strategy.

Jobs come and go. Your family and health are not replaceable.

angela

All replies from the PNW so far! Kinda interesting, thanks!

I wish I could get my own place, but the other side of this is that the NY "dwelling" and food are on MY tab....company will pay for airfare. Truly not fair, but I've got very little room to move on this. So... the friend with the condo is almost my ownly alternative. Fortunately he's going to move some stuff out to make it partly "mine", he knows my family well and understands the circumstances.

Hadn't thought of the video conferencing, I'll get that set up....great idea, I know the kids will like the novelty for a while anyway.

I appreciate those that are there or who have been. The goal is to do this for 1.5 to 2 years....then switch jobs/careers. The big downside is that my job is typically only in NY (wholesale apparel), and I know very few regional reps left in my field.
That being said, I've started the hunt and reviving contacts.

tks,
Eric

I found another opportunity. That kind of "travel" (it's really more than travel, you are practically semi-permanently living somewhere else) became unacceptable to me as soon as my first child reached 3 years old or so. (I worked horrendous hours, worked like a dog, traveled, etc. before kids).

My family is far more important to me than any job or money. I realize you have to do what you have to do, and I'm not saying I would quit immediately, but I would start looking for a new job immediately.

It's a sucky situation. Even if it is "only" 2 years, your boys are going to miss you, and IMO it will make a difference in their life and in your relationship with them.

I travel alot also. Im 7 on and 7 off. I go in on a Thursday and come home the following Wednesday. That way, I have at least 2 weekends a month at home. The difference with me, is when Im home, I'm OFF for 7 days. But everything that will happen, will happen when you're gone. (kids getting sick, broken arms, water main breaks, etc) So be prepared for that!

And are you saying, the company isnt paying for your hotels while in NY?

I was planning on finding a second or part-time job this month until I found out I'll be taking a plane trip at least once a month now for my main job. Now I can't even get a second job, which I wanted just to have something in case the bottom falls out of this one. I don't even have kids and can't stand to be away from my wife for more than a day or two. On my deathbed I'm quite sure I'll not say I wish I had spent more time working and I hope I can say I spent every possible minute I could with my wife.

LOL, newlywed.

Ok, well the first part definitely stands;).

Darn Eric, that really stinks. My two boy are now 21 and 18, and I'm back to travelling a lot for work. Since they are older, it isn't that big of a deal for us, but yours are right there where father/son time is so important. About all I can say is to maximize your time with them when you can. These next few years go really, really fast.

Is there any way they can come along, like over spring break or summer vacation? That might be something they could get pretty excited about. That would be haigh adventure for a 14 and 10 year old, and may make it a bit easier for them. I dunno... just thinking out loud.

Eric, you're a talented and bright guy. Perhaps there is a need for your talent elsewhere? Reading Angela's post, I find nothing but good advice there. Good luck to you.

Angela? I'm glad that semi moved...:)

Good advice above. I have been traveling for business for decades & it is not an easy life. The hardest part to learn is that you have to listen. When you get home, wasted from typical travel abuse, you walk into a home where they have been cooped up. They will want to talk. They will want to tell you about their week, their successes, the weather, the dog puke they cleaned off the carpet etc etc etc. It is your job to listen - with particular attention to your spouse.

Now this might sound easy but it's not. They don't want to hear anything about your week. You have been the one 'out having fun'.

So my advice: shut up & listen.

Ian

I've been traveling enough in my career thus far that I know everything happens when I'm gone...

And correct, the are NOT paying hotels or food while in NY.

The option they gave me was take this "deal", or they would give me a severance package. So the loss of some income to hotels (rent $$ to my friend) at this point was better than complete loss of income.

Lot's of good advice.... and I know I'm going to be burning the candle at both ends to even remotely make this work.

On top of all of this my dad is 85, but thankfully in perfect health. We lost mom last April, and we're just starting to be able to get back to an even keel. I see dad virtually every dad as he owns the small business building that I have my office in.

At this point, I have no way out of trying to make this work for at least the short term. My wife's income fell to zero as she's a commercial mortgage broker, and hasn't been able to make a deal fly in 8 months...but she's encouraged by some recent deals she's been working on.

I've started immedietly to look at other opportunities in different kinds of sales, and have contacts in a lot of different industries.

Thanks for all the ideas and comments....helps solidify what I think I already know!

Oh, and Yes, I think we could work out the NY trip now and then, particularly in summer, as I do have mileage, and will be accumulating more!

Eric

Eric,

I had a long Navy career with two children. I also did what we in the Navy call, "geobach" (which means being a geographic bachelor) for 4 years. My kids are 14 and 16. You can do the math.

The most important thing to surviving the next one to two years is to make sure your children understand exactly why you have to be away. They are old enough to be told that dad has responsibilities that mean you will be separate from them for more time than you would like.

Tell them that you love them and let them know how much you'll regret missing some very important milestones in their lives.

Be upfront and honest and let them know that they are part of helping make this very important time in all your lives work. Engage them in the success of your family enterprise. Focus on success.

Once the job begins use the tools at your disposal to keep the communications strong:

- Take pictures (everybody) and send at least one email a week with said pics.
- Call twice a week minimum for a few minutes.
- Try and not crumble on the weekends...you'll be tired but you've got to rally.

Hope I didn't come across as preachy, but I've lived the dream and made some mistakes you shouldn't.

All the best.

+ eleventy billion. Even the Navy gives awards and praises the family members for their sacrifices in this respect.

Not Noah U's territory/spot? I hope.

Set a travel schedule so you can back end. Will save you a lot of cash.

I am living the insane ~75% road-warrior life right now. I've traveled a fair amount in the last 20 years but the last couple have gotten more extreme. The above advice is all good stuff. I always come home for the weekend, even if it's only for 18 hours. I call home every night, esp. now that my 7 year old son is willing and able to talk on the phone more than before. (He even texts me sometimes on Mom's iPhone.)

In addition to maintaining strong family ties and quality-time when at home, I find it is crucial to pay attention to your own sanity. It's way too easy to just work continuously when you're on the road. I try to check out the local sights, or at least go out and see a movie or something once in a while. (I just went to the Indianapolis Motor Speedway museum earlier today.) Also it is critical to eat and sleep well, and watch the booze, or else burnout and health issues become an even bigger risk.

My role pertains to a small family business so I really have no option other than to build the business and train a team to the point where they can replace me in most of the traveling roles. I have made headway on "replacing" myself lately, but it is challenging due to the high learning-curve and long-term customer relationships we deal with. I'm very well compensated and the travel is either reimbursed thru the business or by customers, so thankfully I don't have to worry about the finance angle too much.

Sounds like your only options are to either deal with the crappy situation, or move on, both of which are tough choices -- good luck!

I used to do NJ to London twice a month when my kids were small. Away from home is not easy and no solution save to suck it up. Having a crash pad is awesome, as it gives you a "personal" space rather than a hotel. And that enables you to travel with only carry on luggage. That in itself will make a huge difference. Keep those weekends to yourself. Maybe get the company to bring the family out to NY once every two months.

Thanks Paul - I'm glad too. My new job has travel and plenty of pressure, but they have kept me home as promised two weeks or better per month. When I do travel, it's in the western US. It's much easier on me and the family, plus I have such beautiful country to work in. I spent two weeks WORKING in Denali Park this fall.

If my good fortune holds, I will spend the rest of my career working in some extraordinarily places - Glacier Park, Denali, Lake Powell, Zephyr Cove, Sol Duc...

Sometimes I feel like I won the "Job Lottery."

angela

Sounds a LOT better than working in New York, that's for sure. Eric, you have my sympathy...

Wow, sorry to hear about your new job description; that is really something!
I can't believe they dont pay for your room and board when away on the road?

My wife and I raised 5 kids and for years, when they were young my definition of success was the amount of time I spent with my family. I organized my life to maximize my time with them and I'm glad I did because they're all older now.

I truly understand the concepts of 'to each his own' and one of my dearest friends is an oil consultant who works in Dubai half the year on and off, I know many people who travel for a living too.

I just accepted a part-time consulting position with a very large company last month that will have me doing a little traveling from time to time as well now; but the renumeration package is very sweet, and I only work on my terms, not theirs.

So my question is that if this is for a pay cheque, and you "really" don't want to be away from your family; then why? I hope the pay cheque is huge! Mid six figure $$$? Otherwise I'd say no way hosé and replace the pay cheque with something that suits your lifestyle.

Lots of ways to make money, just open up your options more locally and maybe give someone else that job.
fwiw my 2¢
Canadian pennies too, so they ain't worth much ;)

Best of Luck to ya!
NY is a great place to visit anywho......

If it were me I would tell them that you are looking for a place in NY and spend as much time as humanly possible looking for a new gig. They cant expect you to move overnight so I would play that card.

The condo is huge. That will make such a difference.

There is no one size fits all answer here. We are all different. I travel a lot for work and love it. I've been doing it for about 12 years now and wouldn't have it any other way. I can tell you a lot of things that make it great for me, but if you're a homebody, it will just plain suck no matter what. I have lost 2 employees due to travel burn-out.

Some things I do-

The video chat is a good idea. I played online cribbage (Yahoo games) with my son.

I make every trip a semi-vacation by experiencing what the area has to offer. NYC is loaded with fun. I'll check out concerts, skiing, whatever.

I'll often rent a motorcycle and tour around a little or even use it as my transportation when possible.

When I'm home I put the emphasis on quality time. I really focus on the family. They all miss me when I'm gone so it's great to get back with the kids....and the wife ;). It's nice to be missed.

It only works if everyone has the right mindset.

And when the company decides that they need to improve their bottom figures and decides to eliminate positions will they consider the fact that you made this sacrifice for them, or will you feel that you wasted those precious years of your child youth.

Me I will always chose my family over any job.

Something similar happened to me 5 years ago. You have my sympathies - and yes, you pretty much have to deal as best you can right now, I think. Good advice on the family side of things already.

For the expenses your employer isn't covering, look into IRS/Federal per diem tax allowances (rent, food, laundry etc.) for temporary out-of-state/city work assignments. Actual travel expenses (including a vehicle) necessary for business are also directly claimable against your taxes, I believe.

Won't help right now, but it'll make a huge difference when you file next year. Or you could calculate the relief upfront and reduce any withholding accordingly.

Try hard to have the situation resolved before that tax relief expires would be my advice. Unless you can run two households on one paycheck...

Do everything you can to get frequent flier miles. I use a United Visa card and pay for travel with it, fly United when possible, rent a car where I get United miles, pay for meals at restaurants that give double miles, etc. That way, you can take the wifey and kids with you sometimes. In two years, I booked enough miles for the four of us to go to Scotland. I've also used them to go to Hawaii, and a few other places.

What others said, call the wifey a few times during the day. Not paying for your hotel room is BS, look for another job.

On the videochat - see if you can get webcam and videoconf service that will allow to read a page of text placed before camera. I know one important thing I do is help the kids on homework, that would be important to keep doing. A lower-tech but maybe equally effective alternative would be fax/scanners at each end.

Like Hugh said, pick ONE airline and fly ONLY that airline. Get the airline credit card and become a points whore. United has the best points program I think (I have 300,000+ United points saved up). The extra leg room seats become free once you get a certain level.

As long as you are a points whore, with Seattle to NYC flights youll be able to build up points very fast. Then you can take yearly family vacations for very cheap (I took my girlfriend to Vegas for her birthday, out of pocket was $250 and that was mostly food). This summer im taking her to Hawaii, and this winter possibly Australia. All on points.

Get signed up for the Hertz Gold Club if you arent already. No messing about with getting the car, its sitting waiting for you and you dont even have to go to the counter.

Travel is easy as long as you have the right mindset and make the benefits work for you.

WHAT?? That's unheard of! Is it even legal? I would collect cans along the highway before putting up with that bull ****. No **** ing way! I've never heard of such tightwadded antics ever. I know more people that travel for work than not, and from many different industries. There must me missing info. Do you mean it goes on your card and you get reimbursed? If your answer is no, all info above is pointless as you need to find a new job RIGHT NOW. The debt on food and lodging will crank your credit cards to the max.

Cutting all personal expenses is a classic desperation cost-cutting move. Take a salaried (or salary +) expensed employee & throw them on straight commission. I am sure that many of the sales guys on the board have had the rug pulled out like this at one time or another. And it always happens when sales potential is heading toward the dumper.

Nothing to be done but live with it & search for new opportunities. Many of us can't afford to tell the boss FU & walk out in a huff - that won't put food on the table next month.

Ian

First off, I REALLY appreciate all of the replies.... quite a few things I hadn't thought of in this situation, and a lot of good ideas.

What they have told me is that my job "location" is now in NY city. Over the last few years they have gotten rid of every sales person not located in NY. They let go of 2 people last week, retired one guy, and then told the last two of us in the field that our jobs were "relocated" to NY. They will not pay to relocated us (not that either of us would do it), but they will pay the airfare if we decide to stay on with the company.

I really don't have much choice right at this moment, the wife is not bringing in any income right now as her world crashed about 8 months ago (commercial mortgage broker). My income is pretty healthy but this will certainly stress it. I have a pretty good size bonus coming fairly soon from 2008, but that will go completely to fund the travel.

As far as replacing the income, I'm absolutely working on it. I've got absolutely zero desire to do this other than to make it work till I can find some way to offset the bulk of the income.

thanks,
Eric

Based on what you said about them not paying for your money, I certainly wouldnt put much effort into finding the cheapest flights. Take the flights that fit your schedule and take lots of them and get those points!

Eric,

My fellow early S enthusiast...... I travel to international destinations on average 60% of the time (for the last 2 decades); its not fun and (different than you) I don't have a set agenda or destination.

Video call service is a must (I use skype) for me as I have a 2 and a 3 year old. When at home, be at home and make every minute count. I speak with them at least once daily.

Last but not least, stick with one airline so you get better perks/treatment and use them to bring your family to you once in a while. Actually, use the ticket allocated to you for one family member and then cover for the others. It costs the same to your employer and will greatly improve your morale and productivity (not to mention that you get to have some quality time with the family).

I hope everything works out and that your travels are not as often as it sounds so far.

I don't care what TV commercials say, there ain't such a thing as "the glamorous world of business travel".

All the best! Juan

On a company like this one where they are making the employee pay the expenses (sans air tickets), the writing is definately on the wall...

They are going to run him into the ground, let him pile up his personal debt on food/lodging, then add up the cost of his salary plus the air line tickets and dump him because Eric just isn't "penciling out" as cost effective... They will then hire someone in NY and avoid the air travel costs.

Eric - use the advice on survival we've all given. But start working on your exit strategy. The best time to find a job is when you already have one... The company you are with now has endgame written all over it.

angela

Regretfully, I agree with Angela.

IM just nailed it!!! It even is worse if your sig other hasn't talked to an adult all week!!
You've actually got it fairly good going west to east,, here's my advice..

Pic an airline and stick with them ( I'm a delta guy , easy upgrades with no FF miles)
Find a red eye flight that works for you, so leave Monday night.. come home Thurs eve late..
Work from home on Fridays ( as I type this I'm in my robe and bunny slippers ).
+1 on the carry on.
Get a place you can call "home" on the NY end even if it's a hotel that will know you and maybe store some stuff there..
Get a girlfriend in NY ( ok that's optional)..
Good luck!! it can have some advantages and be fun.. I miss it sometimes

Are they at least flying you business class? If not I'd rather flip burgers near home than do the coast-to-coast thing regularly flying economy. I did 3 east coast trips in Dec (2 days each) and I was done. At least I was flying economy plus on United, but it still gets old and uncomfortable quick.

Not to be too negative, but when will you get your bonus? Given your story it wouldn't surprise me if that magically disappears. Tough situation...but some people are ok with mega travel. I'm not one of them.

You know.. the kids have the day off and are skiing with mom... I'm working, and I'll be leaving tomorrow for NY, and I can't tell you how much I miss them already,.....

I'm trying to put a good face on this, and there's NO question about what I need to do in the future to rectify this. We are in the process of cutting overhead, and are belt tightening.

Flying only economy sadly. Will be flying 2 airlines due to timing of flights into NY (and Newark). American and Continental. I'm working further on this as we speak as I'm lining up next weeks flights as we speak.

The Bonus is on paper, and it's already been discussed as I maxed it based on the parameters.

Interestingly I've got Pelicanites as friends that I've been speaking with regarding other options in lines of work. Even if nothing of this comes to fruition, it's a great networking neighborhood.

This is a GREAT community.

thanks,
Eric