Disappointing Experience, Please help me work through this...

[cgarr]

Originally Posted by Wayne at Pelican Parts

This year, the family wanted a computer, so we packed up one of the semi-old ones from Pelican and brought it over.-Wayne

So was that the computer with all our credit card numbers on it? Maybe that explains the TV?

[Rot 911]

I suspect the television was from one of the rent-to-own type companies. They will have it for a few months and then it gets repoed. I also suspect the family wasn't completely rock bottom needy if they were asking for a computer. I do a lot of work as a guardian ad litem for the local juvenile center and come into contact with really needy families. These families are asked to come up with a Christmas wish list and invariably the parents always ask for clothes for themselves and their kids. The kids ask for clothes and sometime things like a basketball. If they ask for a electronic device most times it is a gameboy or a MP3 player so they can have something like their friends have. It can really wrench your heart to read these wish lists. I have never, ever read one where they asked for a computer or a tv.

[VincentVega]

USO

Personal choice of course, but it's hard for me to find a more worthy charity than one that benefits US soldiers. Let the kids see people that really need help, that will be a positive effect.

Giving away your hard earned capital to seemingly undeserving people help the kids at all, or the recipients IMO.

[Shaun @ Tru6]

if you know they have a big TV in the future, you could get them a 19".

take pics.

[sammyg2]

Oh man. This one is too easy. the answer is .... old folks.

There are a whole bunch of old folks who don't have big TVs. They don't have much of anything but they get by. What they really need most is friendship and family.

If you hooked up with a nice old person or two and brought them into your home for the holiday, they wouldn't want presents. they wouldn't want gifts. In fact nothing could bring them more joy than having sharing your company and being around the little ones. Just talking to them and listening brings them joy. How selfish are we when we can't spare a little bit of our precious time to make someone very happy?
Hunger is sad but pales in comparison to loneliness.
Every year we do this exact same thing. Our pastor has introduced up to a few of them, he does visits with folks who can't always make it to church for whatever reason and he knows who the ones are that are in need of someone showing that they care.
We had one very nice lady who visited us for the last two years but she passed this summer. It was sad but it was very good for the kids to experience. Living life without experiencing it is hollow to be sure.

[Jim Richards]

Originally Posted by cgarr

Yea, that's a good one! All my neighbors think I am rich because I drive a Porsche

If only they knew...lots of us are going poor just maintaining them.

[Jim Richards]

Originally Posted by sammyg2

Oh man. This one is too easy. the answer is .... old folks.

There are a whole bunch of old folks who don't have big TVs. They don't have much of anything but they get by. What they really need most is friendship and family.

If you hooked up with a nice old person or two and brought them into your home for the holiday, they wouldn't want presents. they wouldn't want gifts. In fact nothing could bring them more joy than having sharing your company and being around the little ones. Just talking to them and listening brings them joy. How selfish are we when we can't spare a little bit of our precious time to make someone very happy?
Hunger is sad but pales in comparison to loneliness.
Every year we do this exact same thing. Our pastor has introduced up to a few of them, he does visits with folks who can't always make it to church for whatever reason and he knows who the ones are that are in need of someone showing that they care.
We had one very nice lady who visited us for the last two years but she passed this summer. It was sad but it was very good for the kids to experience. Living life without experiencing it is hollow to be sure.

Good post.

[Danimal16]

I have a friend who works with hospice. Now that is one great organization. Takes a strong hearted and compassionate human being to, well just be there. The other part is the stories and experiences that are given back for the historical record on such a unique and personal nature.

[TerryH]

My first thought was as Shaun mentioned, perhaps last year someone donated their used big screen tv to this family. Come next year, their benefactor is going to walk in their house and see a huge tv and nice computer. These old rear projection units are about 50 cents a pound now.

edit: I got our Pioneer 58" HD set for $325 on craigslist. I do understand your thought process tho.

[jhynesrockmtn]

Wayne, may I humbly suggest figuring out a way to volunteer with a non profit that provides services for people with disabilities? It's a natural fit for your family and many agencies would be happy to connect you with a family who could use support, even if it's a few hours to run errands or have a movie night out. Many people with a disabled child at home are struggling financially or may be struggling with just managing day to day life. I work with a large agency that provides supported living services to disabled adults and clinical services to all age groups. I've also spent many volunteer hours at a place that provides equine therapy to disabled kids. There are many ways to help with your time and $'s and you will know you are helping truly needy people.

[scottmandue]

I'm a hard working taxpayer and the best I can do is a 36" CRT.

I have helped out serving at a homeless food distribution place. I have to admit I do it for selfish motives. My problems in life seem pretty minor when you see people waiting in line who have very little.

Re: The TV thing IMHO is indicative of what is wrong with America, misplaced priorities and materialism gone wild.

[Tom '74 911]

Wayne -
I completely understand where you're coming from. I have a hard time feeling bad for people in my neck of the woods that are having a hard time meeting their mortgage pmts., but have a brand new truck and trailers full of $10K snow machines and dirt bikes in their driveway. (I haven't peeked in any windows to see what their TV status is).

My wife has started a local christmas time tradition (brought from elsewhere) of selling luminaries - small candles inside paper bags that line the streets and driveways in your neighborhood - In just 3 years it has grown from just our neighborhood to town-wide. All proceeds benefit our local Hunger Coalition. It's a nice tradition because it involves EVERYONE in the community as the luminary effect is fantastic when everyone participates.

I don't know if that helps you feel better about the big TV or not, but I'd feel the same as you I think.

Tom

[rammstein]

I've probably told the story of the section-8 apartment woman who was looking at an apartment nicer than I could afford and deciding where she would put her plasma TV (back when they were close to $4k).

That day really changed me.

[dtw]

I'd like to suggest Habitat for Humanity. They seem to do a thorough job of screening and accept only those truly in need and who have demonstrated the desire for self-reliance. The families I have worked with have been out there, swinging hammers with the rest of the crew.

Working with animals and the elderly, also superb ideas.

[Rick Lee]

Originally Posted by rammstein

I've probably told the story of the section-8 apartment woman who was looking at an apartment nicer than I could afford and deciding where she would put her plasma TV (back when they were close to $4k).

That day really changed me.

While there's nothing wrong with helping others here, there is no real poverty in the U.S. Go to a developing country if you want to see how good even our "poor" folks have it. When you see your first shanty town, your first legless child beggar, you'll have an idea of what real poverty is and you won't see it here.

[Macroni]

specify lower income or minority situation.

[Superman]

I was walking to the store during a visit to my mother recently and noticed a shoebox-sized house with a GIANT flat-screen TV. Now, perhaps my thinking is effectively similar to many of you, but in my mind it doesn't take the form of criticism so much as it takes the form of wondering why. In my mind, for some people, this lifestyle might make sense. Let's say some single guy was a Sheet Metal Worker whose work days are never less than 10 hours and usually six days per week. Outside work, his home life would be preparing for sleep or getting dressed, with Sundays for serious REST. Tiny house. Big TV. Makes sense.

Now, I know that's not what you found. You found a "needy" family. And now you wonder what they really "need." Last night I watched Pursuit of Happyness with Will Smith. I had seen it before. Unusual, inspirational story of a man with superhuman tenacity, finally getting the break he needed. I kept thinking "now THAT'S the kind of guy I want to hire."

You're thinking this family needs something other than a handout. I'd agree. And maybe simple job training would not be enough. I can't help thinking that some folks fail to climb out of their hole because they don't see a connection between things like frugality and hard work.....and success. Much has been said in criticism of the "hope" message we've heard lately, but I honestly think that some people have hope (a real expectation, a clear vision, of success) and others simply do not make that connection. They're not so much lazy as they have simply lost hope. They have given up. They lack tenacity because they lack proof, or a belief, in the connection between effort and success.

[vash]

i dont think you should make any assumptions on where or how that family got what material belongings that they do have.

if you give a gift, and that is what you did, gave a fantastic, generous gift; it should be without questions or strings. it is like giving a homeless person some money, and having them go out and buy crack cocaine, and you getting all pissy about it. once you handed it over, you lose the right to determine how it is spent.

i would have thought the exact same thing. WTF? that is probably why i dont give $$ to things.

help out at a old folks home. great idea. or is there some old person in the neighborhood without many visitors? invite that person over to eat, watch TV, drink booze. i am going to do just that. i have an elderly woman that lives on the corner. i will invite her for stew, and bubbly.

[304065]

Originally Posted by Wayne at Pelican Parts

Funny you should say that...

Nobody gets in the door of the powerhouse until he can utter the following (and mean it): "I swear by my life and by my love of it that I will never live for the sake of another man nor allow another to live for mine."

[T77911S]

wayne, dont feel bad. find another family that is deserving, perhaps a single mom. i never feel good about donating just because of what you have experienced. before you think i/we are cold, we have been foster parents now for about 3 years, we have gone beyond that in trying to actually help the parents( that are trying to help themselves) of the kids. we even took in a homeless mother, got her in a rehab program, she just graduated the first part ( after much trouble) and is moving on the the next phase. we help people we know so we know where our efforts are going.
if you would like to help money wise, we know of a family that has spent all there money (250,000) on their daughters illness. the mother is donating one of her kidneys. my wife got one of our friends(that has worked for us) to open their small clothing store next to ours. the girl is working for gas money and clothes. they have to close the store a lot because they are out of town with the daughter. they back and forth to new york for the medical stuff.
i can encourage an invite and see what size TV they have. we still have CRT's