Disappointing Experience, Please help me work through this... - Page 4

m21sniper · 10:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HardDrive

Those people aren't poor.

Those people usually have $50.00 in thier savings account, and sacrificed that to get nice stuff for their kids and their wife.

By American standards, they're poor.

BTW: The streets in American ghettos are lined with Mercedes Benz.

Porsche_monkey · 01-30-2009, 12:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Laneco

Ingrates beget ingrates... But here's the deal, Wayne.

Don't let the unworthy spoil the help you are willing to give to those who genuinely need a hand.

angela

Well put Angela. I second her suggestion.

fxeditor · fxeditor's Garage

Quote:

Originally Posted by TGTIW

I would suggest directing your charity towards animals. They at least are truly deserving.

I totally agree!

wrecktech · 01-30-2009, 01:45 PM

I support your caring and efforts. Sadly a while ago, and I always say it was when tv went from black and white to colorized although it had nothing to do with it, American people lost the concept of shame. We are now widely a society of screw everyone else as long as I get mine. You have a good soul Wayne whatever you do don't lose that.

slakjaw · 01-30-2009, 01:53 PM

When I was a kid, my parents were dirt poor. We had some old hand me down POS black and white TV with rabbit ears. What Wayne just described kind of irks me.

Mom left dad and we actually lived in the station wagon for like a week on our way back to CA where there was family. Where were people like Wayne back then?

12own911 · 01-30-2009, 02:26 PM

Wayne, I did this for years also but gave it up for the same type of reasons you stated. Now Jordan and I box up his old toys/clothes and donate them to the Women's w/ Children center so that their kids can enjoy the toys/clothes that Jordan used to love. We do this two to three times a year instead of just once a year.

DARISC · 01-30-2009, 02:39 PM

There's a difference between giving from the heart and giving from the heart with conditions placed on the recipient. The latter may not be unreasonable, but doesn't always work out to the giver's satisfaction.

Some may give from the heart while accepting that the recipient falls short of their ideals.

Some can find that at some point their giving is no longer felt as being from the heart. I guess that if that happens, it's logical to find someone else to give to because your heart tells you to.

In the end, it's a decision that only the giver can make; gotta know what's in your own heart, I guess.

berettafan · 01-30-2009, 03:06 PM

i'll never call bs on a family raising a down sydrome child. the world is an entirely different place for folks like this (as you certainly know Wayne) and not everyone is mentally equipped to handle it as well as it appears Wayne's family does.

Wayne you have the right to be upset as you know exactly what it's like but i just couldn't find it in myself to do so.

12own911 · 01-30-2009, 03:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by berettafan

i'll never call bs on a family raising a down sydrome child. the world is an entirely different place for folks like this (as you certainly know Wayne) and not everyone is mentally equipped to handle it as well as it appears Wayne's family does.

Wayne you have the right to be upset as you know exactly what it's like but i just couldn't find it in myself to do so.

As a mother to a child with Down syndrome, I too can understand Wayne's issue. It sounds like these people have bigger TVs then I do so Wayne you can give to me and Jordan this year...

berettafan · 01-30-2009, 03:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TGTIW

I would suggest directing your charity towards animals. They at least are truly deserving.

any single child on this planet deserves more than every animal that ever has, does or will exist.

Noah930 · Noah930's Garage

Like Angela said, don't let a few not-so-truly-needy or ingrates spoil your desire to help. Just find a family that is truly needy and appreciative next time.

My wife and some of her friends did the adopt a family thing this past holiday season. Somehow the family was discovered through someone's local elementary school. Teachers seem to have an idea of which kids come from the really needy families. My wife was a little surprised when they dropped off the gifts this year; there were bare concrete floors (and not in the uber fashionable polished concrete modernist industrial look), exposed plumbing, bed in every room, etc. And the family (and kids) seemed truly grateful. The family offered them refreshments, asked my wife's group to come in and talk, etc. Very rewarding, and definitely something that would make you want to do the same for them annually, if not every month.

Mr.Puff · 01-30-2009, 10:59 PM

http://www.globalgiving.com/
http://www.kiva.org/

These two sites have a great deal of giving potential. The people on them are really in need, and with kiva you get the money back to reinvest.

911Rob · 911Rob's Garage

Charity to me is very personal and I’ve always believed in anonymity as much as possible. There is a special joy in giving, and often that joy is realized at the very moment we decide to make the charitable gesture; however the secret is to hold onto that joy throughout the process, as others have stated clearly “non-conditionally”. This is were much additional joy can be achieved.

I’ve always taught my children, to whom much is given, much is required. If I could take one thing and have it instilled into the hearts of my children, it would be to have a ‘serving heart’. I love to see my children take the things that we have been blessed with and utilize it to serve others

As for down syndrome children, I have some special relationships in my life too. These kids are a tremendous source of positive energy filled with joy and it is more often than not that we can learn from these children more than we could ever provide.

There's business, family/friends and charity. A wise man taught me to keep them all separate.

CRH911S · 01-31-2009, 03:29 AM

Wayne, I'm not sure about your neck of the woods anymore but here in Alaska I contribute to the Special Olympics. For those short on the cash end one can volunteer for any number of special events held throughout the year. The nice part about this is one can volunteer and donate needed cash without it being plastered all over the place. You may want to check this out.
With respect to what many have commented on here I really think America and the rest of the world need to sit down and have a serious discussion regarding birth control. Far too often, here in America and Alaska, I routinely run into single parent households on government assistance of some sort or another with the mother of 2-3 children expecting another soon. If all it would take is a big tv to prevent this sort of thing then I'm all for it but unfortunately it isn't. I think we as a nation should end subsidized childbirth and find solutions to the root problem. I agree, solutions to prevent poor decision making is the key.
Clint

Mad Mike · 01-31-2009, 05:54 AM

You don't have to be poor, to be in need! Someone helping you in a time of crisis is exceptional.

Zeke · 01-31-2009, 11:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by berettafan

any single child on this planet deserves more than every animal that ever has, does or will exist.

I'd be a fool to totally disagree with that, but can't we be universally charitable?

Interesting that Wayne will give his trucks out in the name of his selected customers and yet the effort for a toy drive late last year to benefit kids at CHOC (Orange County), many with cancer, totally failed and was canceled due to lack of interest.

berettafan · 01-31-2009, 12:06 PM

Well Milt IMO no, at least not where animals are concerned. To be completely honest i believe that as long as children around us are in need, real need, that every dollar given to a satisfy a human need to anthropomorphise animals is wasted.

This begs the question 'how do i allocate my charitable giving?' and the only answer i have to that is i personally believe there is no more deserving soul on the planet than a child. Beautiful innocent little people that want nothing more than to be loved and be the center of attention.

sammyg2 · 01-31-2009, 12:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by milt

I'd be a fool to totally disagree with that, but can't we be universally charitable?

Interesting that Wayne will give his trucks out in the name of his selected customers and yet the effort for a toy drive late last year to benefit kids at CHOC (Orange County), many with cancer, totally failed and was canceled due to lack of interest.

Wow, how times change. The last time I was involved in that OCR toy drive was about three years ago and we showed up with an entire truck full of toys, so many that they weren't sure where they were going to put them all.
Are people still showing up for the breakfast meetings or is that dying out too?

rfloz · 01-31-2009, 02:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by milt

Interesting that Wayne will give his trucks out in the name of his selected customers and yet the effort for a toy drive late last year to benefit kids at CHOC (Orange County), many with cancer, totally failed and was canceled due to lack of interest.

There was an Orange Coast Region auto-x and another toy drive that same day. The other toy drive had something like 3,000 cars the year before when I went. I went to the auto-x in 2008, so I don't know how big it was in 2008. But the poor signup for the CHOC toy drive was some monumentally bad timing, not lack of interest IMO.

rfloz · 01-31-2009, 02:32 PM

This thread has made me think about my own charitable giving and I suspect it has done so for others as well.

I never give money to people panhandlres. Hard-hearted bastid? Maybe, but I have watched these people take money and go straight to the liquor store for booze. I am not going to enable alcoholism.

Some years ago I gave a small donation by check to one of the downtown missions claiming to feed the homeless. Over the next two years I received too many slick soliciations from this group to count. I swear they spent more for those brochures than I gave them. One appeal a year, fine, 15-30, no thanks.

I mostly give to scholarship funds now. At least the recipients are trying to better themselves. Or so I tell myself.

As to the big screen TV - meh. Bad decisions do not necessarily make them bad people. They may not even realize how foolish that expenditure was. And, most likely, it is their sole form of entertainment. A "gimme" attitude on the other hand is not going to open my wallet.

Time vs. money: My partner and her daughter went to Mexico last year with their church group to help build housing for some desparately poor people in Tijuana (sse picture above for an example of how they live). Not only were the recipients extremely grateful, but they worked right alongside the church members who supplied both building materials and labor.

Hard to beat that and the daughter got a really worthwhile lesson in just how good she had it. I am going to try to get my own daughter to do something similar with me this year.