cgarr, thanks for the post. I needed a good laugh today and you had it. Those are some funny lines and I cant wait to use some of them soon. :)

when someone asks me what time it is, i reply with either "daytime or nightime"

I hate when Car and Driver or Road & Track have articles on trucks, SUV's, crossovers... basically anything that isn't a car.

There are plenty of other magazines to cover that kinda stuff, fellas... I wish you would just stick to what you do best.

+1000

The phrase "all but" (meaning almost). As in "the factory was all but destroyed by the fire".

Was it destroyed or wasn't it? Slack ass journalists. Front page of the Washington Post every damn day.

Being the last post on a page.

Speaker phone.

I am becoming a grumpy old man.

One of many...

When people leave a message on their work phone that says "I'm currently not at my desk right now..." If you are currently not at your desk then you are probably not there right now either.

"...and what not"

"what not"? My brother says that all the time, sounds like an idiot.

Critical mass :confused:
Shannon Sharp's words
Liquid manure spreaders
To be continued...

beets
subwoofers
runny egg whites
endless meetings
lower back pain
hate threads

I hate when an Egret eats my Koi, and when someone gets a cute "new" baby Possum and it turns out to be a dirty old shrew.

Ninjas... the whole area is full of them. Nesting in attics, knocking over woodpiles. #$#%ing ninjas

Oh yeah. They're not allowed in our home.

How about idiots who don't know how to navigate a four-way stop... and just sit there... totally overwhelmed by the sheer terror of it all... until all the other cars have traversed the intersection... before attempting it themselves?

It's a lot of fun to sit behind one of those.

And zombies too.

Ninja zombies?
http://www.ninjazombiesmovie.com/gallery.html

better yet, Zombies vs. ninjas http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0094384/

Or robo-ninjas vs. ninja zombies http://www.cplusplus.com/forum/jobs/4262/

Or pirates, ninjas, and zombies http://www.piratesninjaszombies.com/

This wold is chocked full of very strange people.

Idiots that park in the no parking zone, clearly marked, at large stores.

I had to walk past a biga$$ Dodge pickup with LOUD exhaust today while exiting a store because his fata$$ wife,gf,sister couldn't walk to the parking lot.:mad:

All the while, REAL handicapped people had to walk around hit truck to get to the store entrance. Nice job, di56head!!!!!!!!!!

Door Ding Fairies, Audible chewing, Klingon drivers and "What-have-you"

people who stop on on-ramps

* the act of driving over speed bumps at 2.47 MPH... in a pickup or SUV

Makes me wanna yell, "Let's gooooooo, Jethro... it's a truuuuuuuuckk!!!!!"

Aliens
 

There they hover watching and waiting. Holding all the answers to earths problems but not lifting a single tentacle to help. :mad: