Any haiku poets here?

[DARISC]

Huh?

[Noney]

I curse the rainbow
Emblazoned upon his hood
Goddamn Jeff Gordon


(part of the "Redneck Haiku" series...)

[dhoward]

Cat Haiku:

You never feed me.
Perhaps I'll sleep on your face.
That will sure show you.


You must scratch me there!
Yes, above my tail!
Behold, elevator butt.


The rule for today
Touch my tail, I shred your hand.
New rule tomorrow.


In deep sleep hear sound
cat vomit hairball somewhere
will find in morning.


Grace personified.
I leap into the window.
I meant to do that.


Blur of motion, then-
silence, me, a paper bag.
What is so funny?


You're always typing.
Well, let's see you ignore my
sitting on your hands.


My small cardboard box.
You cannot see me if I
can just hide my head.


Terrible battle.
I fought for hours. Come and see!
What's a 'term paper'?


Small brave carnivores
Kill pine cones and mosquitoes
Fear vacuum cleaner


I want to be close
to you. Can I fit my head
inside your armpit?


Wanna go outside.
Oh, crap! Help! I got outside!
Let me back inside!


Oh no! Big One
has been trapped by newspaper!
Cat to the rescue!


Humans are so strange.
Mine lies still in bed, then screams
My claws are not that sharp.


Cats meow out of angst
"Thumbs! If only we had thumbs!
We could break so much!"


The Big Ones snore now
Every room is dark and cold
Time for "Cup Hockey"


We're almost equals
I purr to show I love you
Want to smell my butt?

[Noney]

Here's the rest....

Damn, in that tube-top
You make me almost forget
That you're my cousin.

Naked in repose,
Silvery silhouette girls
Adorn my mudflaps.

A painful sadness.
Can't fit big screen TV through
Double-wide's front door.

In WalMart toy aisle,
Wailing boy wants wrestling doll.
Mama whups his ass.

Unemployment's out,.
Hey, maybe I can get on
Disability.

Distant siren screams.
Dumb-ass Verne's been playing with
Gasoline again.

Flashlights pierce darkness.
No nightcrawlers to be found.
Guess we'll gig some frogs.

Joyous, playful, bright
Trailer park girl rolls in puddle
Of old motor oil.

Seeking solitude,
Carl's ex-wife Tammy files for
Restraining order.

Tonight we hunger.
Grandma sent grocery money
To Jimmy Swaggart.

Set the VCR:
Dukes of Hazzard Marathon
At 9 O'Clock.

White noise, buzzing static.
Call Earl. Satellite dish
needs new descrambler.

Sixty-five dollars
And cyclone fence keeps me from
My El Camino.

In early morning mist,
Mama searches Circle K for
Moon Pies and Red Man.

[Amail]

Which "zombie rifle"?
Just cut my sack - BART Shooting
Time for a "chest" thread

[Porsche-O-Phile]

I just met a girl
She likes to do the nasty
*slap* *slap* *slap* that cratch.

This next one was found scrawled on the men's room wall just outside my architectural studio the day I started graduate school. It was prophetic:

"Architecture school haiku":

It's been three long days
Since I had a shower or
Changed my underwear

[dipso]

Any haiku poets here?

No.

[Amail]

Originally Posted by dipso

Any haiku poets here?

No.

pfft - "No." is not nearly enough syllables, and you're missing the first line entirely - amateur.

[ikarcuaso]

Bubbles from my ass
Smelly brown watercolor
On fruit of the loom

[Amail]

High hopes for this thread
Sinking quickly to new lows
How are Byron's cats?

[DARISC]

Originally Posted by Amail

High hopes for this thread
Sinking quickly to new lows
How are Byron's cats?

Oh well...freedom of poetry...

Was hoping for original stuff.

Did you guys
write what you wrote?
Uhh...you know what I mean.

[Amail]

I guess you were looking for a more serious and thoughtful set of posts - didn't mean to derail it.

In answer to your question, yes, my stuff was original (except for the thread titles), if not terribly poetic.

[DARISC]

Originally Posted by Amail

I guess you were looking for a more serious and thoughtful set of posts - didn't mean to derail it.

In answer to your question, yes, my stuff was original (except for the thread titles), if not terribly poetic.

Nah. Serious, funny, it's all valid to my mind.

I'd just like to see original stuff.

Like yours.

Which was pretty sch!tty.

But pretty funny.

[ramonesfreak]

not haiku. not original. sorry

EVIDENTLY
CHICKEN TOWN

the ****ing cops are ****ing keen

to ****ing keep it ****ing clean

the ****ing chief's a ****ing swine

who ****ing draws a ****ing line

at ****ing fun and ****ing games

the ****ing kids he ****ing blames

are nowehere to be ****ing found

anywhere in chicken town

the ****ing scene is ****ing sad

the ****ing news is ****ing bad

the ****ing weed is ****ing turf

the ****ing speed is ****ing surf

the ****ing folks are ****ing daft

don't make me ****ing laugh

it ****ing hurts to look around

everywhere in chicken town

the ****ing train is ****ing late

you ****ing wait you ****ing wait

you're ****ing lost and ****ing found

stuck in ****ing chicken town

the ****ing view is ****ing vile

for ****ing miles and ****ing miles

the ****ing babies ****ing cry

the ****ing flowers ****ing die

the ****ing food is ****ing muck

the ****ing drains are ****ing ****ed

the colour scheme is ****ing brown

everywhere in chicken town

the ****ing pubs are ****ing dull

the ****ing clubs are ****ing full

of ****ing girls and ****ing guys

with ****ing murder in their eyes

a ****ing bloke is ****ing stabbed

waiting for a ****ing cab

you ****ing stay at ****ing home

the ****ing neighbors ****ing moan

keep the ****ing racket down

this is ****ing chicken town

the ****ing train is ****ing late

you ****ing wait you ****ing wait

you're ****ing lost and ****ing found

stuck in ****ing chicken town

the ****ing pies are ****ing old

the ****ing chips are ****ing cold

the ****ing beer is ****ing flat

the ****ing flats have ****ing rats

the ****ing clocks are ****ing wrong

the ****ing days are ****ing long

it ****ing gets you ****ing down

evidently chicken town


© JOHN COOPER CLARKE

[DARISC]

Originally Posted by srandallf

not haiku. not original. sorry

No it ****ing ain't
No it ****ing ain't
No you ****ing ain't.