my wife has a stalker.

[berettafan]

hate to say it but NS's advice is right on i think.

it doesn't feel good to do what NS says but it's definitely the best way to keep YOU out of trouble.



btw, are you sure it isn't NS? Or maybe Rick Lee? Those guys have well known asian fetishes.

[nostatic]

Originally Posted by berettafan

btw, are you sure it isn't NS? Or maybe Rick Lee? Those guys have well known asian fetishes.

I don't consider it a fetish - more just good taste. Or tastes good.

Technically I am a doctor but I have yet to find any woman worth pining over like that. Just too many fish in the sea for that kind of nonsense...

[pwd72s]

Originally Posted by Rikao4

wonder what bouncing down the Hospital stairs would sound like..

Rika

Don't get Tabs involved in this!

[SLO-BOB]

Originally Posted by berettafan

hate to say it but NS's advice is right on i think.

I disagree . Too passive. Guys been hanging around for 9 years - apparently being ignored ain't working. Intervention before he goes to the next level - NOW.

[Sonic dB]

Get a restraining order on the guy, at the very least....

Id probably get armed, and have her armed and weapon trained as well.

This guy is dangerous. 9 years of obsession proves that he is a dangerous type.

You also may want to keep any pet bunny rabbits in doors and out of harms way for the time being.

[nostatic]

Originally Posted by SLO-BOB

I disagree . Too passive. Guys been hanging around for 9 years - apparently being ignored ain't working. Intervention before he goes to the next level - NOW.

The problem is it sounds like he hasn't been ignored. If phone calls and/or emails are answered that is not ignoring that is engaging.

[SLO-BOB]

PS - DO NOT get the guy's fiance involved. A break up will just add fuel to his twisted little fire.

[vash]

well, i called her to find out when the phone contract expires...guess who called on the other line. i'll chat with her tonight.

when i found her crying downtown; that was one of the times she got visited at work. he just walked past the reception girl, and barged in. she left to not create a scene (dumb move imho), she was embarrased to have her boss witness it. he followed her around, saying things like "i'm not following you, i just happen to be going the same way".

he is bipolar. he does scary things, like the time her dumbass bro let him into the house to use the toilet. he tiptoes into her room and snooped around. finding pics of me.

he always calls back to say sorry. you guys know the drill. act bad, apologize later, act bad, repeat.

[SLO-BOB]

Originally Posted by nostatic

The problem is it sounds like he hasn't been ignored. If phone calls and/or emails are answered that is not ignoring that is engaging.

Didn't want to go there. However, one has to accept that the communication may have been reciprocated in some way, shape or form, which as noted, is counter productive.

[Jim Richards]

Originally Posted by vash

well, i called her to find out when the phone contract expires...guess who called on the other line. i'll chat with her tonight.

when i found her crying downtown; that was one of the times she got visited at work. he just walked past the reception girl, and barged in. she left to not create a scene (dumb move imho), she was embarrased to have her boss witness it. he followed her around, saying things like "i'm not following you, i just happen to be going the same way".

he is bipolar. he does scary things, like the time her dumbass bro let him into the house to use the toilet. he tiptoes into her room and snooped around. finding pics of me.

he always calls back to say sorry. you guys know the drill. act bad, apologize later, act bad, repeat.

Stalking her inside her place of employment? Police now! Restraining order, NOW! Press charges for stalking, NOW, damnit!!!

[nostatic]

Originally Posted by vash

well, i called her to find out when the phone contract expires...guess who called on the other line. i'll chat with her tonight.

when i found her crying downtown; that was one of the times she got visited at work. he just walked past the reception girl, and barged in. she left to not create a scene (dumb move imho), she was embarrased to have her boss witness it. he followed her around, saying things like "i'm not following you, i just happen to be going the same way".

he is bipolar. he does scary things, like the time her dumbass bro let him into the house to use the toilet. he tiptoes into her room and snooped around. finding pics of me.

he always calls back to say sorry. you guys know the drill. act bad, apologize later, act bad, repeat.

So she actually talks to him when he calls? That is why this has continued so long. As for showing up at work, it has to be a police call then TRO. *Any* engagement or acknowledgment by her or you is taken as a "sign" that she is interested. Showing any emotion on her or your part (including crying, anger, etc) is a positive sign to him as well. It has to be totally dispassionate.

So she has been answering his emails and calls for 9 years?!? I might offer that there might be other issues at play here that need to be addressed.

[grudk]

Restraining order, and talk to a lawyer about possible civil lawsuit for harassment. He's not going to go away without this. Ever. Nine years?

[Mo_Gearhead]

1. Buy ' any ' common magazine from a news rack ...and a tube of glue.

2. Wear rubber gloves.

3.Get scissors, cut out letters and paste on a plain sheet of paper:

"tHE phoNE CALLs aND InTRusioNS END or yOU will dISappEar!"

( or make up your own goofy message )

NO names ...NO personal references.

4. Place in a plain envelope and put it under his windshield wiper or inside his door at his home/apt.

Do NOT tell her you did this!

5. Burn remnants of magazine and gloves.

(only we Pelicans will know ...and we can keep secrets!)

_________________

Experience? Two differing occurences ...both ended the particular problems.

[Rikao4]

whoa guys..
he's doing the stalking..
Vash's lady while not correct in her way..is dealing with the best she can..
telling Vash's will just get the Kraken boiling..
I'm sure she hoped he would tire and be gone..
you being in CA have to go about it different than us in TX..
like SLO said..
my yard ,my dog,my woman..
you sniff and try piss here..
will only cause my dog to raise his leg in the AM ..
and utter..
told you so..and then piss on his head..

Rika

[ikarcuaso]

Originally Posted by nostatic

So she actually talks to him when he calls? That is why this has continued so long. As for showing up at work, it has to be a police call then TRO. *Any* engagement or acknowledgment by her or you is taken as a "sign" that she is interested.

[HardDrive]

Guy needs a serious case of bullet wounds in the head.

[vash]

no she never talks to him. well, she tries not to. sometimes the guy will call from another number, and POW! she gets caught. she always ends those calls with a "dont call me anymore, you need to move on" something like that. the entire time, he is trying to blurt out stuff.

i'll chat with my wife tonight. this needs to end. you take it for granted when you answer the phone. the poor girl needs to look at the incoming # 100% of the time. i feel so sorry for the poor girl that he is going to marry. i see a lonely existence with her best friend being johnny walker. hopefully the gold label. he is a doctor.

[dewolf]

After 9 years this guy has some serious issues. These are the type of people that end up murdering people out of sheer frustration and anger. You really need to see a lawyer and get the cops involved. Don't become a statistic. Good luck.

[nostatic]

Originally Posted by vash

no she never talks to him. well, she tries not to. sometimes the guy will call from another number, and POW! she gets caught. she always ends those calls with a "dont call me anymore, you need to move on" something like that. the entire time, he is trying to blurt out stuff.

i'll chat with my wife tonight. this needs to end. you take it for granted when you answer the phone. the poor girl needs to look at the incoming # 100% of the time. i feel so sorry for the poor girl that he is going to marry. i see a lonely existence with her best friend being johnny walker. hopefully the gold label. he is a doctor.

I dont' answer calls from numbers I don't know. That is just part of the reality of life these days.

The minute she says a word she is engaging him. That is part of the problem. Stalkers manufacture their own reality and you can't apply logic to it. There is no reasoning or even threatening. All interactions are seen as "signs."

Agreed that you should talk to an attorney about a TRO (might be granted just based on the sheer length of the stalking). But doing "logical" interventions or letting your emotions rule this will likely backfire. Above all don't mess with him and his life (job, fiancee, etc). That's how things escalate...

[Heel n Toe]

Originally Posted by vash

sometimes the guy will call from another number, and POW! she gets caught. she always ends those calls with a "dont call me anymore, you need to move on" something like that. the entire time, he is trying to blurt out stuff.

It would probably be better if she just hung up instead of saying that.

By saying anything, he gets to hear her voice longer and it gives him longer to spew.

Just click him "gone."

You really should go down to the local precinct office and file a report. That way, it's on the record if something happens to one or both of you.