What can you do about a hemorrhoid?

[vash]

quit reading magazines on the toilet.
eat more fiber, and drink plenty of water.

i know a guy that had a fissure. he shared a room with me at a bachelor party in vegas. before sleeping every night, he would eat half a spoon of metamucil DRY!!!! i gagged and he explained the fissure, which makes a roid seem like fun.

he gave me the three words of wisdom i listed.

[Chocaholic]

Originally Posted by livi

Corticosteroids in the form of cream/ointment or suppositories administered rectally is both reasonably effective and fun.

Markus....I was born with a one-way sphincter! No fun.


One other part of turning 50 is the recommendation for a colonoscopy. Is it reasonable to ask the scope-chap to excise the roid at the same time?

[livi]

Yes, that would be perfectly reasonable. At least if you let them know before hand that you have this desire. The steroids are not a bad option though, if the piece is not too large. If that does not help you can always have it removed at the procedure.

Oh, and congrats on turning 50! Good job!

[Zeke]

Originally Posted by terryh

"once it has been deprived of its vital blood supply, the banded hemorrhoid withers and falls off."


does it just roll out of your pant leg while you're standing in the buffet line?

Perhaps disguised as a grape, slip it into the fruit bowl?


Around christmas i had a bout with food poisioning. I was dry heaving for an hour and the next day i detected something anew down yonder. It has since retreated and i'm hoping it shant return.

rotflmao!

[Chocaholic]

Originally Posted by TerryH

"Once it has been deprived of its vital blood supply, the banded hemorrhoid withers and falls off."


Does it just roll out of your pant leg while you're standing in the buffet line?

Perhaps disguised as a grape, slip it into the fruit bowl?


Around Christmas I had a bout with food poisioning. I was dry heaving for an hour and the next day I detected something anew down yonder. It has since retreated and I'm hoping it shant return.

This should be nominated for funniest post of the year! About sprouted another muffin from laughing so hard.

Made my day!

[dhoward]

Originally Posted by Chocaholic

Snipped...
Feels like walking around with a finger in your butt.
...Snipped

Umm......we know this how exactly?

[red-beard]

Originally Posted by dhoward

Quote:


Umm......we know this how exactly?

Suddenly, I have a visual of the sistine chapel, except the finger is going someplace different...

[LeeH]

Originally Posted by TerryH

"Once it has been deprived of its vital blood supply, the banded hemorrhoid withers and falls off."


Does it just roll out of your pant leg while you're standing in the buffet line?

Perhaps disguised as a grape, slip it into the fruit bowl?


Around Christmas I had a bout with food poisioning. I was dry heaving for an hour and the next day I detected something anew down yonder. It has since retreated and I'm hoping it shant return.

[911Rob]

Just chiming in to say Happy B-Day Choc!
Ya old fart.

[lendaddy]

Just put Dipso on ignore, no need to go though all this.

[svandamme]

[afterburn 549]

I think they named them wrong
should be
ASteroids, Not hemorrhoids

[tshore]

Take a hot bath once a day for 20-30 mins. Go out and walk as much as you can. Do this, and they will go away in about 2 weeks, in my experience.