Amazing Number of Women Trying to get into My Dad's Pants and Wallet

asphaltgambler · 03-18-2009, 10:47 AM

I recently posted a few things here about my dad and his health. He is 88 and will be returning to his house after a short stint in the hospital. He is in fairly good overall health and good mental capacity for his age...................................probably better off than most guys his age anyway. He is fit, still has his hair, etc, etc.

Here's the 'problem'................ ever since my mom passed three years ago there has been NO shortage of women (some as young as 58 !) clamoring to get into his pants and wallet. Some of these women belong to the local church where he has been an active member for 45+ years. The area he lives in is a somewhat rural community but close to major metro (DC) location.

Two of the boldest women (58 & 60) who both have sordid (verifiable) pasts that include going after older (wealthy) men driving a wedge between their children and taking over any assets. One of these two women did this exact same thing 6 years ago and had the dad sign over power of attorney and and changed the will so the entire estate went to her. She was eventually sued by his kids and lost..............It's like something out of a f***king soap opera. Now she is pursuing my dad big time.

Three of the four of us kidz live close enough to keep constant eye on things but I'm torn between protecting my dad's feelings AND his assets and also butting "in" to his personal life.

Anyone here had or is going through something like this with the surviving parent?

legion · 03-18-2009, 10:49 AM

Clean your guns when the golddiggers are around?

Tell them you're not afraid to go back to prison?

nostatic · nostatic's Garage

Fun, isn't it? My dad is 84 and pretty healthy. My mom died about 7 years ago and not 3 months after a 59 year old trolling the bereavement support group latched on to him. Over the next few years they married, my dad tried to rewrite the A/B trust and couldn't, then rewrote his half cutting my brother and I out of his portion completely, then sold the house I grew up in (and he owned since 1958) without even mentioning it to me so that he could buy a mobile home that would be free and clear for his new wife.

On a positive note she seems to take care of him and he appreciates/needs the company so I really am not that bugged by the whole thing. The money isn't an issue - I never expected to get anything from inheritance. His selling the house without telling me did piss me off though - not that I would have protested and in fact I suggested that he do that. But more that he was just trying to pull a fast one and it was disrespectful.

At any rate, enjoy the ride. As long as he's happy and they are treating him well then it isn't anything to worry about imho.

Seahawk · 03-18-2009, 10:58 AM

My Mother passed away in 1990...my Father was 60 years old.

There were times when he was literally under siege from women from 40 to 80.

He told me he felt like Fort Sumter, only the Confederate batteries opened fire for more than 36 straight hours.

asphaltgambler · 03-18-2009, 11:05 AM

I can't see any woman 28-30 years younger, especially the two above mentioned who would be genuine and really love him for him and be true companion. I mean no bull***** here folks their boldness has almost no limits so far.................................

onewhippedpuppy · 03-18-2009, 11:08 AM

I think when they get to that age you really have to help them watch out for themselves, even if he's still got it upstairs. Don't be afraid to speak up, you might later regret keeping silent.

The Gaijin · 03-18-2009, 11:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by asphaltgambler

Two of the boldest women (58 & 60) who both have sordid (verifiable) pasts that include going after older (wealthy) men driving a wedge between their children and taking over any assets. One of these two women did this exact same thing 6 years ago and had the dad sign over power of attorney and and changed the will so the entire estate went to her. She was eventually sued by his kids and lost.....

Time for that man to man conversation.. At 88 he is not part of the Oprah generation - give it to him strait.

He was 20 years old in 1941. They have seen it all..

Dottore · 03-18-2009, 11:21 AM

For many single women of a certain age gold-digging is their best hope.

Men are weak and vain and think with their peckers—particularly at that age—and are easy prey for these women.

There are examples in my parents circle of friends that make my hair stand on end.

911Rob · 911Rob's Garage

Quote:

Originally Posted by nostatic

Fun, isn't it? My dad is 84 and pretty healthy. My mom died about 7 years ago and not 3 months after a 59 year old trolling the bereavement support group latched on to him. Over the next few years they married, my dad tried to rewrite the A/B trust and couldn't, then rewrote his half cutting my brother and I out of his portion completely, then sold the house I grew up in (and he owned since 1958) without even mentioning it to me so that he could buy a mobile home that would be free and clear for his new wife.

On a positive note she seems to take care of him and he appreciates/needs the company so I really am not that bugged by the whole thing. The money isn't an issue - I never expected to get anything from inheritance. His selling the house without telling me did piss me off though - not that I would have protested and in fact I suggested that he do that. But more that he was just trying to pull a fast one and it was disrespectful.

At any rate, enjoy the ride. As long as he's happy and they are treating him well then it isn't anything to worry about imho.

This happened to my wifes best friends Dad, he was "very" wealthy and the kids lost it all, every dime. He was happy in his senior years with her, but she sunk that ship so fast it was incredible! A lifes work, gone.

When it comes to my 'wealthier' relatives, I tell everyone I dont want anything except maybe they're favorite ball cap or something to remember them by; its just too crazy what people do waiting for the passing of a loved one. I'm not in.

flatbutt · 03-18-2009, 11:49 AM

I had my Mom assign power of attorney to me. I watch everything she has.

Zeke · 03-18-2009, 11:55 AM

Watch out especially for women wanting to pave the driveway for $25,000.

Jim727 · 03-18-2009, 12:04 PM

One of the kids that sued said bold gold-digger could have a helpful discussion with your dad.

911Rob · 911Rob's Garage

PS: I hope I'm rich enough to attract a 50yo gal when I'm 90? Ha.

Seahawk · 12:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dottore

There are examples in my parents circle of friends that make my hair stand on end.

No question. My father remarried in 1995 to a women he knew professionally...she was a widow with her own means.

The collective sigh of relief was palatable because she was clearly not in it for his estate, she had her own.

But it is really not about the money...my father was very sick last month and I made it clear to my fathers wife that we don't need or want a thing from his estate other than some personal items. Yes, it was that close for him health-wise.

Porsche-O-Phile · Porsche-O-Phile's Garage

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dottore

For many women of a any age gold-digging is their most convenient hope.

Men are weak and vain and think with their peckers—at any age—and are easy prey for these women.

There are examples in my parents circle of friends that make my hair stand on end.

Fixed it for ya'.

asphaltgambler · 03-18-2009, 01:32 PM

Actually, concerning these two "gals"; One is the oldest sister of a guy I've been friends with since junior high and I still see him occasionally. This same sister is and has been estranged from their family for at least 15-20 years.

The other 'gal' (who duped the older guy out of his estate to his kidz) when he had declining mental and physical health. I knew and went to high school with one of his sons. I saw him recently and told him the situation.......he said she would stop at nothing to get her way so watch out.

Also recently my dad had his Viagra 'script refilled.......................................... .........my sister found out.while going over his statements

slakjaw · 03-18-2009, 01:47 PM

My parents divorced and about 2 years ago my pops remarried to some chick I had never met and he had only known for like 6 months.

I feel your pain asphalt

asphaltgambler · 03-18-2009, 01:54 PM

You know you see this kinda crap on TV all the time and you wonder who would write sh&t like that when all along real life scenarios are much more torrid.............un-f*kinbelievable!

ruf-porsche · ruf-porsche's Garage

If the ladies looks like Anna Nicole, then you father could be their J. Howard Marshall II.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Porsche-O-Phile

Fixed it for ya'.

LOL

That reads much better.

jshape · jshape's Garage

My mom died four years ago at 85 - my dad is now 88. He remarried a very nice younger (82) woman about 1-1/2 years after mom died. His new wife is very nice and they do seem to get on quite well together. They have travelled quite a bit and are very happy.

When this subject of his remarriage first came up, I asked why did he feel he needed to remarry - he was 84 and able to drive at night! He could have as much company as he wanted in the retirement community.

But, he indicated that he really loved his new paramour and felt that getting married was the only right thing to do. They wouldn't even stay in the same room when the visited us at our cottage even though they were engaged. He told me that they ahd planned on staying in different hotel rooms on the way up from Florida but that the cost of getting two rooms was ridiculous. But they did get separate beds! Likewise, we put them in different rooms when they stayed with us.

Dad was totally against the thought of living together from a personal moral standpoint. He refused to even discuss it. Seems like his generation is a bit more put off by cohabitation than are current generations.

Financially, they have separate accounts but like many of their age today, the market has forced them to look at things more jointly than they did a few years ago. My guess is that if most of their finances will be used in supporting them. I'm totally fine with that. I'm just glad they're happy.

I called him last month to chat - new wifey answered the phone and indicated that they were right in the middle of duplicate bridge group and could I maybe call back later? That maybe was the best "gift" I ever got - my 88 year old dad was too busy doing something on his own that he enjoyed doing rather than waiting by the phone 24/7 to chat about the weather or whatever with his son!