Probably the best advice given here...

Well, if I was on that jury I would hold anything against you. For anything you have written. But these things are decided by judges I imagine.

Sorry to hear about this turn of events. It does not sound good.

Not to be negative, but that insurance money opened up a lot of options for the three of them. Yes, take care of you. Living well is a good plan.

I've quietly read this, and all I can add is that my spidey senses have gotten increasingly nervous about it. I think, as others have said, she is being female about her handling of this and is 'leaving a door open' as a feminine method of 'letting you down easy'. Also, the recent history of suddenly improved relations can actually mean something more dark was goign on. Tread very carefully.

Man what a read. Dueller I am indeed sorry to hear of your troubles. Just from what you've posted MHO is that she is gone brother. Maybe you'll work it out this time but it'll likely happen again. Hide the car and all of your good stuff. But mostly lawyer up and get your issues in order. At the very least you'll be better equipped to handle what may be coming. If you're not growing you may be dying.

How could anything said here be used against him? For what?

You would be surprised. Even his admisssion to having anger issues could be brought up.

I expect that Jim's wife is not the type that will want anything, financially. But sometimes, like my 2nd wife, they want to make a mess of things in court, just to see how destructive they can be. Even though SHE was the one who wanted out. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, even if she was the one who did the scorning to begin with...

She gets more money from him if she can show he has anger issues?

I wouldn't be surprised.

If he is made out to look like a bad guy, by using edited excerpts from here, he could look unsympathetic to a judge. When I went to get my ex-wife's alimony shut off, she had been re-married for 5 months. I wanted her to return the money starting from after re-marriage. 5 months at $300 per month. She didn't need the money, she was re-married. Judge brushed that off. At least I was able to shut down the Alimony...

The judge brushed it off because he thought you were a "bad guy?" Your financial obligations depended on what the judge thought of you as a person?

That seems odd. Those issues don't seem to have any relationship. I can't even imagine what that law would look like or how it would be written.

Glad I've never been divorced.

This is exactly the kind of behavior you get from judges who put "empathy" above the law.

There have been dozens of cases of men ordered to pay child support for children that were proven not to be theirs because they had the means.

Heck, there was even a case a few years ago of a woman who invented a child and had her ex-husband paying child support for a kid that never existed.

There are lots of cases of judges forcing men to pay alimony more as "punishment" than because there is a need.

Good thing Jim knows where to find a good lawyer....

Don't mean to resurrect this soap opera, but before everybody starts wringing their hands over my potential financial devastation in a divorce be assured I am thoroughly safe on that front for a variety of reasons. Regardless of whether we work on a healthy relationship or parture, that side will be simple and uncontentious.

But don't let me stop you guys from sharing your horror stories.:D

Now that should be a whole 'nother thread:

How I Got F*cked in my Divorce

Ian

So, how did you talk her into that pre-nup?

No pre-nup....just judicious placement of assets by both of us with full knowledge upfront. Plus we don't live in Kaliforn-I-A;)

To get back to the topic of this thread: "When did you know it was over in a relationship?"

I think you know now for yours, unfortunately. This will be tough short term, but I truly believe you will be happier in the long run.

Best,

George

' appreciate your honesty, George. Your comments (and all the others) have been very cathartic. Understandably, we tend to try to project, speculate, etc as to another person's motives in such a situation. And it drives you nuts when you're in the middle. But at the end of the day, you just have to trudge through it and let things unfold without trying to guess what is going on behind the scenes.

That being said, I'm trying to live in the moment and take things as they come comfortable that what ever happens in the end I'll be just fine.

Bummer, but sounds like for you well being, this is going down the correct path. Time to pull the reserve and bail.

College represents a whole 'nother can o worms. From what I have read, I think those girls are going to have a rough ride.

Bll

So very, very true. My ex-wife's family and I are very good friends. The Mother in Law still asks me over for dinner when I am in town. My ex's brother is a good friend and they are in touch every month or two even though they all live in Berlin Germany.

He always asks what car or motorcycle I am driving now. Finally told him about the airplane as well. His girlfriend (of 20 years) told me last time we talked that the Brother always tells my ex- about how things are going with me.

It seems that now my ex- really does not want to hear about me anymore as she was tired of hearing how well things were going. She is still living in a rented apartment, driving a 12 year old car. Doctors in Germany are not paid that much and it seems that she still has a problem with buying shoes, handbags, sunglasses and watches and cannot afford a house or newer car. I put up with her carnivorous spending habits for 11 years...

Living well is very good revenge, and best when served cold as ice. I hope she is as happy as I am.

Joe A