When did you know it was over in a relationship?
 

What was the final straw? What made you say "No Mas?"

When I had to tie a board across my behind to keep from falling in :eek:

When I realised that one does NOT have to live an unhappy life.

Ex-wife and I were off/on during our first year of marriage. Last time we got back together lasted about 6 months. We had a big argument Saturday night, woke up Sunday am and pretty much said to each "this isn't going to work". I moved out(she helped me pack) and I filed within the next month. Best thing we ever did together.:D

I can see your relationships are based on a lot of genuine feelings.

My relationship with my fist wife was over when my current wife of 27 years showed me some genuine feelings. BTW, she came with 2 kids. I have none other than her's.

Restraining order is a good bet.

I was reading a book about the criminally insane, and suddenly realized the description fit my now-ex wife to a T.

When she said: "I'm not going to change my behavior. If you want something else, you'll have to divorce me."

And I did. Her behavior was increasingly agoraphobic and anti-social. Since she was also dealing with cancer, I cut her a lot of slack, but ultimately, you've got to take responsibility for your own *****. So when she reached 5 years without recurrence of cancer, I said 'bye.'

"I'm late..."

Reading between the lines, I find the inspiration for this post a little disconcerting.

When the police brought her home drunk/stoned and half naked and suggested I get control of things"before it's too late".
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It was already too late.

Dare we ask what the kids did now and what their mother's response was?

Would that you could have read it in high school. Crazy is no good, well not good for very long, plenty of fun on the manic runs, if that is the flavor of nuts they happen to be, YMMV

If she is bangin' someone else, that is a pretty good indicator.

When I am looking forward more to time apart than together, it is done.

Where the path of hummers ends, the trail of litigation begins.

I hope he's asking for a friend.

I just got a call from a friend (that I don't know very well, new friend) of mine that his marriage is over. I don't know the dividing line but it doesn't sound good. He claims that she forged his name that put his cars in her name. But then he said there was a power of attorney floating around out there that should have been destroyed. So who knows. She said there was abuse. I don't know. He wanted some help and I'll help him out but I won't get involved. In other words I'll give him a place to stay for a few days, a couple of bucks, etc, but I don't want to help him get stuff out while she's at work. Just because I don't want to be a part of something I have no idea what's going on.

+1

I should have known when I tried to book a romantic getaway & she said: "What's the point?" And that was followed by her announcement several months later: "I don't consider us married anymore." But I was stupid & had to go through another half year of hell.

Ian

I think it really depends on the context.

When I was single, I knew a relationship was over as soon as enough issues cropped up, to the point I knew I was not going to want to marry the person. Seemed to me not worth wasting either of our time for too much longer. Not so much because the gals weren't pleasant enough to be around, but mostly because of the lost opportunity cost.

In a marriage with no kids, when you are still relatively young, I think that analysis still applies. Without kids involved, a marriage is little more than glorified dating, IMO.

In a marriage with kids, I really think you have to make a big effort to stay together, even if the relationship is in many ways "over." I think the standard in that situation has to be it's "over" (as in splitsville) when, in solely the children's interest, the relationship is so bad/destructive/toxic that it is in the children's interest that the couple be apart.

Yeah!

BTW, it must be the age (40s, mid life thing), but a lot of people in our social circles have been divorced lately.

In almost all of those cases, the guy/gal knew it was over when he/she finally found the cell phone number/message/email from "the other person." I'd say that's been the final straw 90% of the time.

When she met me in the parking lot after work on April 24th, and told me all of her stuff was gone. 12 years, pooofff.........

She was even nice enough to use her new boyfriends truck to move with. She insists nothing was going on.:rolleyes:


One of my ex - best friends even gave her a place to stay.


Yeah, life pretty much blows right now.

A very good friend of mine got divorced when he found her foot prints on the inside of her car windshield. After he paid her way through college of course. Actually, I've heard of quite a few breakups after one or the other went back to school. Maybe they think it's a start of a new life/adventure?

It was the green 70's thunderbird parked in my drive when I came home unexpectedly. I can still see it in my mind and that was 30 years ago.

In my case, I knew things were going bad when she got so drunk at thanksgiving, she had a shouting match with the Priest from my childhood church.

The final straw was about 6 months later, when she became so drunk out with some of my co-workers, she accused me of having an affair with said co-worker, to her husband. We tried some therapy and alcohol counseling, but it didn't help. 1 yr later, we split.

Only when single...but that's what being single is about, right? Some were great, some were stormy. One or the other of us decided it wasn't going to work long term.

I'm still working on my first marriage. Hope it lasts...34 years and counting. Just lucky, I guess.

usually when her sexual interest starts to go down and her gripes start to go up... it is pretty much over. The key to judging a woman's happiness with you is mostly in bed, imo anyway...... when a woman is not in to you as much it shows in bed, unlike guys who can and do have sex with the woman even if they dont care for her.

Like when you say "I do"?:D Sorry, I couldn't resist that one.

Dueller, I sincerely hope you're asking this question out of genuine curiosity.

If that were the case, a good 95% of marriages would never make it past 10 years (or even 5)!

For me it was when her cat's got more attention than I did, I put up with it for years but finally I complained cause the house stunk like cat sh#t, we had words and I left. It hurt cause it was a 7 year relationship, but I got over it and it was the best thing I ever did.
Moral of the story is " if your relationship smells like ***** - get out as fast as you can" & "Don't date Cat Woman"

When the Air Force Major let me know I had chlamydia & started to grill me about who I had been cheating on my wife with. That pretty much gutted me, I've never really recovered.

Everytime a woman has said, "I want more from you." or "I want a ring."

Both are sure signs it's all down hill from there.

Mine called me at work and told me all of my stuff was out in the front yard.

That I probably ought to hurry up coming home and get it because there was a coffee can on the front porch with a couple of dollars in it, and everyone from Oakland thought it was a yard sale.

Ex-Wife: When she goes to a movie with my dentist and her boss.

Old Girlfriends:
1) When i got by a motel at 3:00 am and see her car in the lot
2) When I see my boss's car parked in front of her house.
3) When she leaves he party with someone else.
4) When I sneak into her bedroom in the middle of the night and some other guy is in her bed.
5) When I realize she will just never, ever shut up unless she has something in her mouth...

When she stopped swallowing.

July 21st, one year ago. At noon. When she came home from an off-roading trip, and told me she was done. Someone had kissed her. I spend the next two weeks in turmoil, wondering what else happened. Then I found out.
It took us six months to break up. I tried to salvage it, but made my own mistake when I listened to her tel me to go find someone else.

Ten years together, five years married.
He didn't even care that she was alive, but she couldn't get over it.

She still reads the forum occasionally.
I love you, Jennifer.:(

i wonder if my high school girl friends dad ever noticed the foot prints on her winshield? never thought about that til now.

a side Q, looking back, did you see signs before you got married?

Same thing I was thinking.

1st wife, yes and I should have understood that if she violated trust before, she would later.

2nd wife, I should have dated her longer, then I would have known the issue.

When she told me she wanted kids. For the n000th time...

Uh, this thread is about relationships.

My marriage had never been great from an intimacy perspective. After 20 ish years she tells me after a small argument over the purchase of a 72 911 project that she'd always loved and respected me as a friend but not more. She knew it very early on but couldn't face the mistake she'd made. We got married too young. Not enough relationship experience to know what worked and what didn't. The kids kept us together. A lot of time wasted. I got two great kids out of the deal though. So nice to have moved on in a healthy way. Staying together for the kids is the wrong thing to do but it took a good therapist to convince us of that.