When did you know it was over in a relationship?

Dueller · 07-06-2009, 04:11 PM

What was the final straw? What made you say "No Mas?"

vmisquez · 07-06-2009, 04:14 PM

When I had to tie a board across my behind to keep from falling in

Oh Haha · 07-06-2009, 04:20 PM

When I realised that one does NOT have to live an unhappy life.

Ex-wife and I were off/on during our first year of marriage. Last time we got back together lasted about 6 months. We had a big argument Saturday night, woke up Sunday am and pretty much said to each "this isn't going to work". I moved out(she helped me pack) and I filed within the next month. Best thing we ever did together.

Zeke · 07-06-2009, 04:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vmisquez

When I had to tie a board across my behind to keep from falling in

I can see your relationships are based on a lot of genuine feelings.

My relationship with my fist wife was over when my current wife of 27 years showed me some genuine feelings. BTW, she came with 2 kids. I have none other than her's.

KNS · 07-06-2009, 04:21 PM

Restraining order is a good bet.

Dottore · 07-06-2009, 04:22 PM

I was reading a book about the criminally insane, and suddenly realized the description fit my now-ex wife to a T.

techweenie · techweenie's Garage

When she said: "I'm not going to change my behavior. If you want something else, you'll have to divorce me."

And I did. Her behavior was increasingly agoraphobic and anti-social. Since she was also dealing with cancer, I cut her a lot of slack, but ultimately, you've got to take responsibility for your own *****. So when she reached 5 years without recurrence of cancer, I said 'bye.'

URY914 · 07-06-2009, 04:39 PM

"I'm late..."

legion · 07-06-2009, 04:41 PM

Reading between the lines, I find the inspiration for this post a little disconcerting.

KevinP73 · 07-06-2009, 04:41 PM

When the police brought her home drunk/stoned and half naked and suggested I get control of things"before it's too late".
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It was already too late.

Neilk · 07-06-2009, 05:06 PM

Dare we ask what the kids did now and what their mother's response was?

Tobra · Tobra's Garage

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dottore

I was reading a book about the criminally insane, and suddenly realized the description fit my now-ex wife to a T.

Would that you could have read it in high school. Crazy is no good, well not good for very long, plenty of fun on the manic runs, if that is the flavor of nuts they happen to be, YMMV

If she is bangin' someone else, that is a pretty good indicator.

When I am looking forward more to time apart than together, it is done.

lendaddy · 07-06-2009, 05:20 PM

Where the path of hummers ends, the trail of litigation begins.

Oh Haha · 07-06-2009, 05:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by legion

Reading between the lines, I find the inspiration for this post a little disconcerting.

I hope he's asking for a friend.

wcc · 07-06-2009, 05:24 PM

I just got a call from a friend (that I don't know very well, new friend) of mine that his marriage is over. I don't know the dividing line but it doesn't sound good. He claims that she forged his name that put his cars in her name. But then he said there was a power of attorney floating around out there that should have been destroyed. So who knows. She said there was abuse. I don't know. He wanted some help and I'll help him out but I won't get involved. In other words I'll give him a place to stay for a few days, a couple of bucks, etc, but I don't want to help him get stuff out while she's at work. Just because I don't want to be a part of something I have no idea what's going on.

imcarthur · imcarthur's Garage

Quote:

Originally Posted by legion

Reading between the lines, I find the inspiration for this post a little disconcerting.

+1

I should have known when I tried to book a romantic getaway & she said: "What's the point?" And that was followed by her announcement several months later: "I don't consider us married anymore." But I was stupid & had to go through another half year of hell.

Ian

the · 07-06-2009, 05:41 PM

I think it really depends on the context.

When I was single, I knew a relationship was over as soon as enough issues cropped up, to the point I knew I was not going to want to marry the person. Seemed to me not worth wasting either of our time for too much longer. Not so much because the gals weren't pleasant enough to be around, but mostly because of the lost opportunity cost.

In a marriage with no kids, when you are still relatively young, I think that analysis still applies. Without kids involved, a marriage is little more than glorified dating, IMO.

In a marriage with kids, I really think you have to make a big effort to stay together, even if the relationship is in many ways "over." I think the standard in that situation has to be it's "over" (as in splitsville) when, in solely the children's interest, the relationship is so bad/destructive/toxic that it is in the children's interest that the couple be apart.

stomachmonkey · 07-06-2009, 05:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by legion

Reading between the lines, I find the inspiration for this post a little disconcerting.

Yeah!

the · 07-06-2009, 05:44 PM

BTW, it must be the age (40s, mid life thing), but a lot of people in our social circles have been divorced lately.

In almost all of those cases, the guy/gal knew it was over when he/she finally found the cell phone number/message/email from "the other person." I'd say that's been the final straw 90% of the time.

lm6y · 07-06-2009, 05:44 PM

When she met me in the parking lot after work on April 24th, and told me all of her stuff was gone. 12 years, pooofff.........

She was even nice enough to use her new boyfriends truck to move with. She insists nothing was going on.

One of my ex - best friends even gave her a place to stay.

Yeah, life pretty much blows right now.