My Cats Are Worthless

[jyl]

Walking into the entry room just now, I saw movement along one baseboard.

On my stomach with a flashlight, I found a small mouse hiding in the corner, under an armchair.

No use trying to catch him by hand. I looked over to the living room couch, where the black cat was sleeping this evening. No cat. I asked my wife, "is there a cat in the house?". No cat. I opened the front door, looked out, called. No cat.

Worthless things. We have two, a tabby and the black cat. They are well cared for, have the run of the house, get tuna occasionally and would get milk daily except that they don't like it. All I ask in return is that they keep the house rodent-free. Now look at this.

We're leaving for a week tommorrow am. I fully expect the cats to have done their job by the time we get home, and I want proof. Hopefully not staining the carpet.

At least there is one good thing about having mice. It means you don't have rats.

Are your cats "productive"?

[nostatic]

stop feeding them (especially tuna). They might get a little more "productive"

[svandamme]

mine are cold blooded killers , if it moves, it dies
then they drag it home, and fill my house with cadavers...

It ain't all that fun either...i've had mice, rats, rabbits, singing birds, magpies, pigeons and most of my neighbours garbage can dragged in the house by em...
I know when my neighbour had spare ribs, T-bones or roasted chicken...

One of these days Boris will bring in nextdoor's Beagle.. he already stalks the poor dog, and mawls it from time to time...What then? a pig from a nearby farm? a dead dairy cow on my porch?

[DanielDudley]

My wife hasn't worked in almost a decade. Want to trade ?

[svandamme]

does she know how to work the litterbox?

[m21sniper]

Every cat i ever had was a finely tuned killing machine. Even my prima-donna Siamese cat.

[red-beard]

Originally Posted by jyl

Worthless things. We have two, a tabby and the black cat. They are well cared for, have the run of the house, get tuna occasionally and would get milk daily except that they don't like it. All I ask in return is that they keep the house rodent-free. Now look at this.

Don't give milk to cats. It gives them diarrhea. What you feed cats, is cream.

Usually, the mice stay away when they can smell the predator. Unusual.

[Gogar]

Originally Posted by red-beard

Don't give milk to cats. It gives them diarrhea. What you feed cats, is cream.

Milk won't give them diarrhea if you lightly boil it first. Random!!!

[svandamme]

cat's don't need milk or cream at all, just plain water is fine.
they love it, but shouldn't give any, or at least not more then a spoon worth, as a treat every once in a while

[Shaun @ Tru6]

our cat would bring home dead 4 foot long black snakes and leave them at the door. she was a good cat, Kitty.

[Super_Dave_D]

My two cats live for the day when something makes the mistake of coming into the house.

[Paul K]

Our cat used to bring mice in all the time- then he would promptly let them go (still fully functional) and head off to sleep somewhere. I ended up buying a full-auto soft air MP5 to take care of them, which was kinda fun even though the wife wasn't impressed. Finally had the cat into the vets to have his teeth cleaned and put a collar on him with a little bell. We had tried collars before but he freaked and broke them. Now he brings in way less mice. Other than that he is very well behaved- no jumping on the counters, scratching furniture, etc.

I really hope after this cats passes we won't have to get another. They are sinister and evil.

[m21sniper]

Originally Posted by Paul K

They are sinister and evil.

+1. They really are sadistic killers.

Watching my last cat "play" with mice (to death) was an exercize in morbid curiosity.

Sometimes he'd take an hour killing one.

[svandamme]

if i see em with a live prey, toying , i take it away
Drives Boris nuts, he then becomes hyper pumped up, barging around the house trying to find the mouse again...
After a few times, he figured it's best not to bring em in the house , and kill em faster

[vash]

my newest cat is brutal. if i slip my hand out from under the bed sheets, she will tag it with her claws. she looks stupid, when she realizes it is my hand. dork.

she homes in on birds like a scud missile.

[jyl]

I found the tabby on our bed this morning, and chastised him. Looking slightly shamed and angry, he turned and did his "talk to the anus, because the face won't listen" routine, and left the room.

My wife later saw him prowling intently in the living room. So one of the lazybones, perhaps, is on the job.

[trekkor]

The mice that dare to venture into our house die a very unpleasant death.

That last one looked like it had been hit with the world's smallest shotgun, judging from the number of bite holes in his mutilated body


KT

[Wickd89]

our cat comes in 1 hour before it is time to wake up, and yap, yap, yap...
I really wonder why we did this 14 years ago..
Cats have to be the dumbest animals in the world; instincts do not count for smarts...

[svandamme]

Luis, you got it wrong
you're the one that wakes up 1 hour to late

After 14 years, you should have figured out by now, that the cat is the smart one, and you just failed to comply to it's demands.

[red-beard]

Originally Posted by Wickd89

our cat comes in 1 hour before it is time to wake up, and yap, yap, yap...
I really wonder why we did this 14 years ago..
Cats have to be the dumbest animals in the world; instincts do not count for smarts...

after getting shoved off the bed twice, or three times, mine gets the message that I'm not getting up for whatever it wanted. Usually, it just wants the light turned on to eat. It's not like it needs light, it just like the company, while it eats.

Sometimes they can be amusing. 95% of the time, they are asleep.