this is the normal people's forum

like... "How To Beat the Wiz Quiz" by Ed Carson; Paladin Press; 1991

ISBN 0-87364-624-x

People have tested positive for drugs from poppy seed muffins. Mythbusters tested it and it was confirmed.

My policy is that any physical test they want to put me through, scores seriously high.
I'm talking consistency. I'm talking every drug test. Even those they didn't think were possible to combine for a human, with a still beating heart.

You want to score so well, that the results cause a meltdown in the analyst's brain, make him feel uneasy, insecure... If you test positive on everything, and then ask em with a straight face:

"so, how did i score? Did i fail any tests? Am i in the top 1 percent?"

It will be the equivalent to what "devide by zero" does for a computer.
They will crumble, and admit to your superiority..
You'll be hired, and instantly rolled into the "upper management Fast Track" program.


Anything worth doing, is worth doing right.

Damn right. No half measures here. Bury the needle, and make 'em wonder how you even hit the bottle.

The Wizzinator.
Problem solved.

37 years of both scheduled and random drug screens.

As the cute young thang hands you the cup, you get this stunned look and say 'Hun, I'm gonna need a bigger cup'.

Gets 'em every time.

BTW, never tripped one yet.

Have seen lots that have. No matter who it is, or how it turned out, it was not pretty.

Accurate test.

Assuming your job doesn't have testing due to safety, i.e. pilot, bus driver, cop, etc., I think your best option is to ask if you can be admitted for rehab before the results come back.

I do not think lots of water works. THC is stored in fat, you have to metabolize the THC. take some Niacin. I would not eat the morning before your test and go pee right when you wake up, When you test use a mid stream catch. Don't smoke weed. I was a Drug and Alcohol Program Administrator while I was in the Navy, saw a lot of good people get booted out for stupid reasons.

More unverified 3rd party rumours: I've heard they test for watering down by measuring the levels of byproducts from meat(i.e. eat lots 'o meat and water down sample), also that orange juice and excercise releases THC from the fat cells.
I'd recommend not smoking weed, or finding another employer.

I haven't smoked in probably a decade, but believe drug tests are un-constututional and irrelevent for non-saftey issues.
That's why I've spent tens of thousands of dollars at Lowes instead of Home Depot.

Hell, I drink so much, when I take a urine test, I piss olive's.

I actually passed a military security check (with a pee test) when I was positive.

Was sitting in a outdoor cafe in Amsterdamm years ago when I was living in Europe. Couple of people in the table next to us were smoking either pot or hash, who knows which. Caught a couple of very strong whiff's of it and thats it.

Fast forward two weeks later where I was sitting in St. Louis at McDonnell Douglas Aircraft HQ. Had been called 10 days before for a job on a military contract and asked to come to CONUS for the interview and processing. Went through all the questioning BS and that was fine, then came the "pee in the bottle" check.

Told them about the situation in Amsterdamm (remember its legal there) and they looked at me funny for a bit but said "we will note it." A week later got my badge and the admin pulled me aside and mentioned that the THC did show up on my sample but it was so small that they could tell that I had not been smoking it. Had I not mentioned it I would have been busted and not gotten the job.

When I was a kid in school tried pot a few times. Fun but not my cup of tea. When I retire may try it again, who knows. Until then I kinda like having a job and money coming in every month so believe that I will stick with something like Jack Daniels for now.

Stopped shopping at HD when it came out that they were sponsoring Gay Pride events. The drug testing did not help things either.

Yea, I've recently failed two drug tests because of this. They test for drugs and creatine. It the creatine levels aren't within certains levels, you have a diluted sample.

The fact that drugs are unlawful is only a small part of the equation. It's one of the more minor excuses that the industry can use when it's time to change the subject.

The real presumed and accepted basis for drug testing is performance and safety. It is presumed that drug use causes poor performance and unsafe behavior. Problem is, those links are not real. Not established. First, the link between urine content and level of intoxication has not been made. Indeed, we know that urine can contain cannabis metabolytes weeks after use, when intoxication is clearly not present.

The second link that would be necessary to support these (performance and safety) conclusions would be the link between intoxication (which we know cannot be established through urinalysis) and performance/safety. Interestingly, this connection is weak. Indeed, performance under the influence of some drugs (cocaine for example) is consistently higher than with individuals who are not intoxicated.

And finally, if the industry were the slightest bit serious about performance or safety, it would test for the drug that clearly lowers performance and erodes safety, which is also the drug where current intoxication can be established through testing. The test is a called "breathalyzer" and the drug is alcohol. I have been a Drug Testing Coordinator and have looked into this industry in some detail. As it turns out, programs that include testing for alcohol are rare.

It's a witch hunt, guys. What if your employer could analyze your urine and detect whether you have taken office supplies home, or driven a vehicle in excess of the posted speed limit during the past three months? Most of you guys would be screwed. Nevermind that these things probably cannot predict performance or safety. Nevermind that the industry would not be required to establish those links. They are unlawful and you do them anyway, which is an effective excuse for termination.

I am not anti-drug testing. In my view, it has a place. Safety-sensitive positions like pilots, etc. Or when there is clearly a problem and management needs that tool to make a worker face up to facts. But in my humble opinion, if I need a lab report in order to form an impression of whether my direct reports are productive and safe, then I'm not doing my job and should be terminated. For actual cause.

Dang, Superman and I are in perfect agreement. Something must be wrong.... :p

They can now distinguish. Poppy seeds no longer trigger a 'positive for heroin' result.

Drug tests are hard to fool these days.

If your creatinine level is wacky, there is a medical reason. See a doctor, and have that doctor communicate with the Medical Review Officer who is responsible for declaring your test "positive." The MRO will reverse the positive to a negative. Or just eat more red meat and don't drink so much water.

Even conservatives can learn.:cool:

Drug users are less reliable employees. Check.
Drug users don't have a problem breaking the law. Check
Drug users under the influence have impared judgement. Check.
Pot smokers are dumbed out mush-heads. check.
Union supporter claiming all the above facts aren't true. check.