How can I become Smooth...
 

:cool:I have decided this is my problem in several aspects of life. If I was a smoother driver my a/x times would be faster. If I was a smoother talker I would get laid more....



So how does one become smooth...?

What kind of music do you normally listen to?

By not doing things in a jerky or jittery fashion?

So you really didn't get laid last night, did you?.... (But I'm guessing you wanted to... :p)

To become smooth:

Sanding paper, from coarse to fine.
Shave regularly.
Change first name to "Slick"
Baby oil...
Sometimes, instead of talking, shut up, listen and smile.
Feel at ease with yourself (propbably the most important piece of advice I can give you)

(in random order)

Look further ahead in both your corners and conversations and figure out how you want them both to end before you start them, better yet think two corners and two conversations ahead.
Less is more

Steve

Its not about talking the talk...its about walking the walk. Want people to want to be around/with you? Take the attitude (AND believe it at your core) that you are a happening guy who enjoys his life, and friends (including women) can enjoy it with you/come along for the ride if they so choose. If they choose not to its their loss, not yours. And you could care less about their choice.

Be confident in who you are but not cocky. The key difference between the two is one carries with it an element of hubris while the other has an element of humility.

As far as driving...slow down to go faster.

It's a Zen thing.

Go slower in life... actually move slower so you can observe what is going on around you. In some cases, try to imagine you are moving in slow motion.

Read more.

Meditate/pray more.

Don't rush to fill "awkward silences" when you are talking with people... listen to people.

Play video games less or eliminate them totally for a couple of months.

See a movie that moves slowly and doesn't rush things and gives you time to "feel" what the characters are feeling and thinking... like "Meet Joe Black."

It won't happen overnight, but if you keep working on it, you'll get there.

Going to have to try better than that schumi. I can't stand the taste of cheap beer. Never had the spensive stuff though...

Along John's advice...there's a reason you have two ears and only one mouth.

I don't talk that much(face to face). Just my problem is I never seem to say the right things..

The answer lies within...

http://forums.pelicanparts.com/uploa...1253856865.jpg

Welcome to my world. :D

I am trying to get us help Dave. I think that was a contributor in my failed relationship. Among lots of other things.

Listen to lots of Ginuwine.

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I just checked off this goal three weeks ago: "Screw while having stereo play 'In those jeans' in the background"

This probably is highly subjective depending on the girl, however.

Ok Sid...give us the 3 reasons your relationship failed including one thing you said "wrong."

We'll overlook you are 17-18 and that relationships at this age are doomed to fail...it is totally normal and should be viewed as a growing/learning experience. Relationships at such a tender age are part of a pretty steep learning curve...much like your autoX learning curve now.

odds are you'll finally get smooth when you're too old to make the most of it

Ok Jim, Part of it was the fact that when she would get pissed at me because I said or didn't say something I couldn't say what she wanted to hear and when I said nothing it just compounded the problem, Another problem was the distance. College has us 2.5 hours apart. The third was I had given up on the relationship due to 1 +2. So I gotsta find me some poon right here.

Which is why I get help now. I promise y'all pics if it works.

that's why all you see are old guys in Hooters..... lol

Kinda a cryptic answer without much detail, Sid. But I'll give it a shot.

Long distance relationships suck, but at this life stage the attitude should be "Hey...we've each got our own lives...when we can be together let's enjoy the moment. I care about you but neither of us can mope about or worry ourselves sick about what the other one is or is not doing when we're not together." Granted easier said than done but with practice it comes easier. I promise you had you been a bit more aloof, she'd still be wanting to see you.

As far as the other, you should say what you truly felt without explanation being necessary. Never let a person make you feel guilty or inadequate or awkwward by manipulating you because of their expectations of what you SHOULD do or say in THEIR eyes. Just be yourself. Best I could offer with the limited details.

But since you gave up on the relationship why are we worrying about it? Time to look forward not back.

Jim I didn't get too concerned about her life but she bothered me constantly about what was going on here and told my I couldn't do things like ride a motorcycle...

The key is not to not piss them off- the key is to go as long as possible without pissing them off. Because it will happen. Pic is semi-related....

http://forums.pelicanparts.com/uploa...1253858577.jpg

The other trick is to be able to see the crazy ones from the normal ones, giving you an idea of how long you'll be able to hang around.

And she was elected your surrogate mom by whom? Sounds like a bit of a control freak to me.

Just a wee bit.

butter, it smoothes things out immensly

Well, my wife told me I was going to have to get rid of my bikes after her ex-husband was killed on one in June. My response was a quiet "Excuse me?" Still got the bikes and she's never mentioned it again other than to ask if she could increase my life insurance coverage.

Butter? Not cream?

Ok, Sid...so let's move on. Tell us why you think you're stepping on you own dick chasing new trim....

I really hope you're not talking about ear-butter again....:D

Ok, Jim. When talking face face to I either seem super shy and dont talk at all or I ramble endlessly. When sending messages I read the convo wrong and say something too soon or too late.

cream goes sour to fast, butter has more staying power

Rule no. 1...steer the conversation to talk about her. Without being creepy. Be somewhat mysterious and aloof about talking about yourself. At least at the initial stages deflect questions about you to asking about her. Trust me...people, especially chicks, love to talk about themselves.

Rule no. 2...when you feel shy or there is a long pause in the conversation, just make eye contact and hold it while smiling slightly and nodding almost imperceptably...a bare hint of a nod. But don't act like the village idiot with a goofy grin. Wait until she breaks the silence or looks away. When she does take a slow breath and say something like "OK, then..glad we got that cleared up." Be comfortable with your shyness...some women find it endearing.

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Ok I think I can handle that.

Even whipped cream?

Dude, whipped cream is useless when things heat up a bit.
Butter may melt, but it stays smooth

Well, Sid...don't be too hard on yourself. That being said one of my most egregious attempts at being funny was a lame attempt at humor about tampons and sexual gratification....I still grimmace thinking about it some 30 years later. Woman obviously thought I was a total idiot but probably forgot about it in the first hour.

Another time, I was being so cool on a first meeting with a scandanavian exchange student in my freshman year who was wearing a loose knit sweater obviously braless. I noticed a long blonde hair resting on the front of said sweater right on her left boob. I casually reached over to remove it without touching her boob. How the hell did I know it was attached to said boob until she shreiked in pain? But in front of three other women...sheeesh.:D

Everyone here will have advice on being smooth. But if your sole intention in to get laid, follow Schumi's sure fire steps below:

1. Find a party. At college on a saturday night this should be the easiest step.

2. Find a girl you're interested in. Maybe a girl in one of your classes that you sit by, etc. If she's holding a drink by herself and not talking to anyone, go up to her. If she's talking to people, wait till she's not; wait til she looks bored.

3. Go up to her, and pull some BS like "aren't you in my Econ 216 class?" etc, and introduce yourself. She'll probably be nice and talk a bit and look away, whatever. She most likely doesn't want you flirting with her. The key is to get her name.

4. Pull out your iPhone. If you are like me, without of those, and the party is across the street from your house, walk home and get on the computer. Bear with me here, you'll see what I'm doing in a sec.

5. Open up Facebook. Type in her name. She goes to your college so you should be able to see her profile. Memorize her favourite movies, music, and hobbies. Maybe lookup a youtube vid of her fav. movie if you haven't seen it and memorize a funny quote.

6. Go back to party. Wait till she's standing looking bored again, not talking to anyone. Go up to her.

7. Ask her what she's been doing tonight. Who cares about her response. The idea is to get her to ask you what you've been doing. Your answer: "Oh, I just got done watching a movie at my place... (enter her favourite movie title here) ever heard of it."

8. She'll freak, talk about how she loves it. Say it's one of your faves even if you haven't seen it. Make some comment on how you've never met someone who liked it as much as you do, blah blah. She'll probably quote something from the movie, who cares, you didn't see it.

9. Move the convo to music before she figures out you haven't seen that movie. Say how your friends/roomates listen to whatever, but you really like bands like (insert her fav. band here). She'll probably freak, as this is her fav band. Continue naming off her fav. bands as your fav. bands. This is like shooting fish in a barrel at this point.

10. Agree with how cool it is that you both like the same bands. Hopefully your place is close, because at this point you should invite her back over to your place to listen to some music, ditch that lame party she's so bored at.

She'll oblige.

The rest is up to you.




The proceeding may sound extremely shallow. I didn't say it wasn't. But if you pull it off correctly she'll be showering at your place the next morning.

I've updated this whole procedure for the modern age. Before Facebook, you just had to find one of her friends, a mutual friend maybe, and figure out everything about her. Now people just post that all online for you to romp through. It's wonderful.

Knowledge is your friend.

Practice.

Practice.

Practice.

Dude, you're eighteen. Just get in there.