I f'd up the anniversary..

[HardDrive]

Originally Posted by cbush

this isn't about your messing up the anniversary, it is about communication. Wait until she isn't mad about it, and then have a talk about expectations and such. At 5 years you are practically newlyweds. It will make life a lot easier if you at least work out the basics like gift giving. And yes i have been in your shoes before! Good luck.

+1

[Seahawk]

I forgot my wife's birthday.

Got her a toaster oven to make amends.

Brought it home in a 912 I got to make me feel better.

Smooth.

I am, of course, kidding. While I did forget her Bday, I made amends in the appropriate way.

Thank god for stainless steel toaster ovens.

Originally Posted by nostatic

Times like this I look to Homer for advice.

Get her a bowling ball. Drilled to fit your fingers. Works every time...

Or buy another 911.

[pwd72s]

Originally Posted by imcarthur

Sorry, Paul. You're screwed. I have absolutely no advice - just brotherly commiseration. I have done the same. And I still hear about it 10 years later.

Ian

Me too... Evidently, this is another time when she says what she doesn't mean..

[TSNAPCRACKLEPOP]

ten years!!!omg!!!!

[Z-man]

My wife is siding with you on this Paul. She just said, "What is he, a mind-reader?" She did say she didn't get anything nice for you...

She does say you should go on the weekend getaway, and make sure to get something very nice for her then.

-Z-man.

PS: We've been married now 15 years. After a while, you learn not to sweat the small stuff...

[rick-l]

Why do you need an accountant to balance the gift credit/debit sheet?

[widgeon13]

You f'ed up, the key is don't do it again "soon" and surprise her with something nice when she least expects it. Marriage is always give and take if it's going to last.

[Oracle]

you''ve been played by the female mind and failed..

no matter what you do now, you're going down and for the rest of your marriage she will use it as an example on how YOU screwed the event...

[Dueller]

Write her the following letter:

To my loving wife,

I feel like such a total jerk for not doing more for you on our anniversary. But there is somethong else I feel i must tell you and it breaks my heart even more.

For the past two years I have been having an affair with a Fillipino prostitute. This may explain my frequent absences I have lied to you about saying I was at work. I think I am in love with her. But I can't commit to her until she quits seeing other men. She promises me she will in the next year or two when she saves enough money to bring her family to the states. I would have left her before but we have a child together who is now 6 months old. And ahe is now pregnant again. She and the baby are HIV positive but fortunately I have not yet tested positive even though we obviously don't practice safe sex. I would hope you could welcome her and our child into our home to live with us...and her mother and three sisters when they arrive in the states. We could be one large happy family with your blessings.

OK. None of the above is true. Except that I really was a jerk to not do more for you on our anniversary. Can you forgive me?

Love,

Your ever faithful yet inconsiderate husband

P.S. Enclosed are the airline tickets for our anniversary trip

[look 171]

Originally Posted by Z-man

My wife is siding with you on this Paul. She just said, "What is he, a mind-reader?" She did say she didn't get anything nice for you...

She does say you should go on the weekend getaway, and make sure to get something very nice for her then.

-Z-man.

PS: We've been married now 15 years. After a while, you learn not to sweat the small stuff...

You are pissing me off here. First you delete our posts and pics, the good stuff. Now you have a wife that thinks like that. That isn't normal. You are one lucky guy.

shoulda made it green.

jeff

[look 171]

Paul,

I know this, you are getting any anytime soon.

If it makes you feel better, my dumb ass forgot her birthday twice and our anniversary once. All in 6 long years. I still here about it all the time.

[Schumi]

I still like my plan of stacking up some lies.

Lies on top of lies, it's what every relationship needs. This is my key to success. Sometimes, when I first meet a woman, I'll start off by lying about my name, just to make all the other lies that much more acceptable in the end when she finds out.

/green text

[red-beard]

Stop being stupid and buy her a gift and apologize...

Yes, you f'd this up, and you can't make up for it, but you still need to FIX THE PROBLEM.

Oh and Paul, my 2nd wife taught me NEVER to give a present to a woman that has a cord attached.

[svandamme]

that's why they invented cordless drills and whatnot.

[Paul T]

Well, back from our day out...it was OK, not a lot of talking going on though...oh, what a fun weekend this is turning out to be! Think I'll just stay up late and get drunk...I tried to create some dialogue about this last night and got zero response, so I haven't even brought it up today.

[aigel]

Sounds like you guys have some issues if something as simple as an anniversary can lead to such grief.

You certainly messed up communicating the fact that you do not plan on a gift. If the trip was a gift later, you should have made a simple gift certificate on your computer or at least written the card out as a gift certificate with some detail (Hawaii trip, 3 star hotel, 1 week, spring 2010).

On the other hand, if you profusely apologized for not getting anything and for the mis-communication, your wife should not carry a grudge and punish you with such treatment throughout your anniversary weekend. There also should be some slack cut for the fact that you are obviously overworked. You aren't working for fun - it is for the family income.

The rule in a relationship should be to bring out what bothers you, make piece and move on with life. Best do this before the day is over. No carrying grudges for days / weeks. The better you get at doing this in a relationship, the easier it will be in the long run.

You will only get busier at work, with kids, elderly parents, house renovations, health problems and what not later in your relationship. If you can not figure out how to work as a team now - it will be an ugly journey later. Life is supposed to be easier and more fun as a couple.

George

[450knotOffice]

My wife and I have been quite happily married for twenty two years next month. We LONG ago stopped giving each other gifts of any kind for our anniversary. Of course we go to a nice restaurant for dinner or something along those lines, and we almost always end up on some beautiful trip somewhere - this year we are spending the anniversary at an eco-lodge deep in the western Amazon in eastern Ecuador. This is what we decided long ago was important to us - spending quality time with each other somewhere (anywhere) away from home and the realities of daily life. It's an awesome way to really celebrate our love and commitment to each other. So much better than some "gift" if you ask my wife or me. The gifts are eventually forgotten - the trips are not!

[widgeon13]

Originally Posted by 450knotoffice

my wife and i have been quite happily married for twenty two years next month. We long ago stopped giving each other gifts of any kind for our anniversary. Of course we go to a nice restaurant for dinner or something along those lines, and we almost always end up on some beautiful trip somewhere - this year we are spending the anniversary at an eco-lodge deep in the western amazon in eastern ecuador. This is what we decided long ago was important to us - spending quality time with each other somewhere (anywhere) away from home and the realities of daily life. It's an awesome way to really celebrate our love and commitment to each other. So much better than some "gift" if you ask my wife or me. The gifts are eventually forgotten - the trips are not!

+1

[viking911]

I bought my wife a porta-pottie for our 15th anniversary. Went over like a lead balloon...I need to explain this a little. One day I noticed that my kids were growing up way too fast. I decided to start tent camping again. I spent a lot of time camping when I was a kid and thought it would be a great way to spend quality time with the wife and kids. Kids were all for it but the wife said she wouldn't sleep on the ground. So, I went out and bought a nice padded cot for her but she still refused to go. I just took the kids myself. Had a great time with the kids. I took the kids several times over the summer and I could see that she was feeling left out. I kept asking her again and again why she won't go and she finally told me, it all boiled down to some kind of hang up over bathroom facilities. She won't use an outhouse and she never knew how far a real bathroom would be from camp, expecially for those nature calls in the middle of the night. Since our anniversary was coming up and being armed with this new found knowlege I flexed the supreme powers of my engineering mind came straight to the most obvious and practical solution, she needs a porta-pottie. I thought it would show her that I wanted to include her in the camping and that I wanted to spend time with her. I WAS WRONG.

Ok, you can all STOP LAUGHING now!!.....it is pretty funny.

The best part is that my parents gave her chemicals for the porta-pottie and biodegradable toilet paper. It was like rubbing salt in the wound!!!

How did I recover from such a disaster you ask? I took her to the Bahamas the following summer. Big screw ups = big suck ups. That little...lapse of judgement...delayed my first P-car purchase by over 2 years. But, I'm still happily married and I did finally get my P-car.

My 18th anniversary is next week. Dinner, a movie and a pair of diamond stud earings are going to be the order of the day.

My advice, start by sending her flowers. Then, buy her something nice or better yet take her away for a weekend. Apologize profusely but don't expect her say all is foregiven. You messed up big time (in her eyes) and nothing you do after the fact will make up for it. But, this is what she expects from you now. You'll hear about it every now and then because she doesn't want you to foreget that you hurt her. Basically just man up, take your lumps and let her get over it in her own way. Let her read my story and tell her atleast I'm not as big a jerk as this guy.

[john70t]

I'm nowhere close to solving the female puzzle of interlocking infinity, but am under the belief that most of the day-to-day stuff can be gotten away with as long as there is an iota of justifiable storyline which she can explain to her friends.
Don't mess around with the special events.