Do you confront jerks or ignore them?

[speeder]

Originally Posted by MRM

Guy did that in Minnesota last summer. Guy he got into it with didn't know he was a cop. Civilian wearing swim suit, surrounded by his friends, thinks he's being attacked by some self-appointed keeper of the peace and puts the cop in a wrestling move, gets him down on the ground and waits for the cop to stop struggling. Once he does the swim suit guy figures the confrontation is over and lets the guy up. Cop guy comes up shooting and kills an unarmed civilian, wearing only a swim suit, in front of several of his friends, all of whom say cop guy butted in on swim suit guy because he thought swim suit guy had done something impolite. I can't remember what it was that swim suit guy had done.

I sure hope that the rest of the story involves the cop being charged with murder.

[speeder]

Originally Posted by nostatic

There is no upside to a confrontation other than to make yourself feel better by occupying some imagined moral high ground. You will not change the behavior of the other person, and odds are the confrontation will escalate. I have had this happen a few times with the last one being when a jerk did an illegal u-turn to take a parking spot I was obviously waiting for. I pulled up next to him as he got out of the car, rolled down the passenger window and said, "thanks for taking the spot I was waiting for." He responded with expletives, I called him an arsehole, and he started towards my car screaming "you f'ing punk I'm going to kill you" (he was in his 50's). I drove off and he kept running. He was insane.

There is no upside. Jerks persist in the world and there are too many people wound tight waiting to unleash some violence. Just drive on and depend on karma do to its thing. It always does...

You don't have to worry about that guy. He's on a suicide mission.

[tabs]

Originally Posted by trekkor

you saw me?


KT

FK U you lying rat that was me...

Ohhh yeah some people just don't realize tht if they go off on the wrong person they wind up dead.

[Racerbvd]

Originally Posted by LeeH

I was leaving Trader Joe's today and needed to call my wife before pulling out of my parking spot. A guy in a BMW X5 pulled up at an angle with the nose of the vehicle in the ramp people use to exit the store, and the right rear blocking a handicapped parking place. He puts on his flashers and hurries into the store. My first thought was, I hope everything's ok... I actually wondered if maybe his wife was having some health issues or something.

As I'm finishing up on the phone with my wife, the guy comes out with a bottle of wine. If you were parked 10 yards away woul you:

a) Write him off as a jerk and go about your business?
b) Engage the driver in a discussion about his lack of concern for the dozens who have been inconvenienced by his actions?

This is on of my major pet peeves, I hate it when *******s like that block a gas pump just because they are too lazy to walk 20 feet from a parking space..

[look 171]

You could back into him and make him pay for your damages because he was in the wrong in the no parking area. I have always wanted to do that But, I wouldn't.

[RWebb]

Originally Posted by moses

near the entrance to the hospital where i work are four well marked parking spaces reserved for "emergency physicians only". This is not near the emergency room. It's for physicians heading to the operating room or the delivery room. I saw a man in a very nice porsche use one of the emergency spaces. I said nothing. The next day all the spaces were taken and he was once again parked in a spot reserved for physicians. I parked directly behind him, blocking him in.

After i finished my surgery i went back to my car and the guy was waiting. He was enraged. Turns out he was an insurance company rep working on a contract with the hospital. Screw him.

thanks!!

[rsa]

A lady friend of mine has a valve stem tool and appropriately removes it. That lets them get to that party on time.

[RWebb]

back on topic - here a guy broke a law - an important one by blocking a handicapped space

to me that makes it a little different than if he did something like block 2 regular spaces by parking at an angle

you could:

1. photo his plates, lack of sticker etc. and send the info to a newspaper, the cops, store mgmt (with a nice letter about penalties for not enforcing the federal laws re access for the handicapped), etc.

2. let him see you taking the photos

3. walk into the store and inquire in a loud voice who was blocking handicapped spaces

4. slip a polite note under his windshield wipers asking him not to do it again (it is always possible that his wipers get broken in the process - if so, that's not a big deal as it is a lot less expensive than hosing down his car with brake fluid which will ruin the paint)

5. call the police and/or look around for a cop or security guard

I am oriented a bit differently than mrm in that I do citizen enforcement suits in federal court (against the gubmint) so I am biased in favor of it - obviously don't let it escalate into violence

[Rick V]

Originally Posted by RWebb

it is always possible that his wipers get broken in the process - if so, that's not a big deal

obviously don't let it escalate into violence

Slight contradiction here. If I do something wrong, discuss it with me. My vehicle did nothing wrong. Someone decides to touch my vehicle because of something I do. It will get violent. I am not alone in that thinking.

[LeeH]

Originally Posted by rsa

A lady friend of mine has a valve stem tool and appropriately removes it. That lets them get to that party on time.

Super idea, but like I said, I was assuming he had a real emergency. It wasn't until he came out that realized he was just in a hurry.

Quite a few people stopped and shook their heads when they saw how he had parked. I rarely confront people like him, but I did this time. It wasn't pretty, but I got my point across.

Will that change him? Nah. Was it a stupid thing to do on my part? Yep. My only hope was that he'd go home and tell his wife how he got into it with some guy at the store, and he'd have to explain why. And maybe she'd also tell him that he was being a selfish jerk.

[slakjaw]

Originally Posted by MRM

Guy did that in Minnesota last summer. Guy he got into it with didn't know he was a cop. Civilian wearing swim suit, surrounded by his friends, thinks he's being attacked by some self-appointed keeper of the peace and puts the cop in a wrestling move, gets him down on the ground and waits for the cop to stop struggling. Once he does the swim suit guy figures the confrontation is over and lets the guy up. Cop guy comes up shooting and kills an unarmed civilian, wearing only a swim suit, in front of several of his friends, all of whom say cop guy butted in on swim suit guy because he thought swim suit guy had done something impolite. I can't remember what it was that swim suit guy had done.

If an off duty cop got into it with me and later pulled his badge as a trump card, he might find an ex-prosecutor speaking to him who would put an end to such petty corruption by the cop with a few well-placed phone calls. You want people to respect cops, then cops have to act like they deserve respect. And that means not using the badge, gun or uniform to settle personal scores or engage in personal missions of justice.

And to answer the original uestion, no, I would never confront someone like the parking lot guy. What good can come of it? t best you create a hassle for everyone; at worst it creates a bad scene for everyone. Life's too short. In five minutes everyone is own the road and the incident is over. My time is too valuable to be taken up hassling with someone who insists in making himself a jerk in public.

+1

Life is too short to get involved in petty things like this.

[URY914]

A women can confront someone much easier than a man. My 60 yo sister will call someone out for just about anything at anytime. Guys are just asking for trouble when you start wanting to be a public rules enforcer.

[targa911S]

I ignore all of them. I have better things to do.

[Oracle]

Last year I told a guy he was driving the wrong way (it was not clearly marked) and he went nuts!
He really wanted to drive into the playground area where I was with my son! Then he wanted to hurt me as he kept driving in circles shouting all kind of things to me, I actually spotted him waiting for me on my way out of the playground..
Never again I'll confront jerks cause you don't know how crazy people can be....
Scary moment!!

[Mark021]

It' s a little off topic but I hope I can bring it back around to make a point.

I was at work last year and was heading to lunch. We were in an underground parking structure and as I was walking to my car I saw a girl attempting to confront a co-worker in her car as she was driving out of the parking garage. The co-worker's window was up and she gave me a big-eyed look and I walked up to the car and the girl standing next to it and asked if I could help.

Young girl, maybe mid-twenties... nothing too unusual about her but she was talking very fast and was obviously upset and kept asking if I had heard a gunshot and had actually asked the co-worker to help her get to her car. I stood there for a minute and tried to talk to the girl to calm her and she started talking about the boyfriend that she was trying to break up with and how he was stalking her. The co-worker just roller her eyes and drove off with a disgusted look. I talked with the girl for another minute or so and told her that she was welcome to come into the building and have the concierge help her to make sure she wasn't alone if she was scared and that he could also see her to her car. She just shook her head and walked away quickly looking both scared and embarrased.

Later that afternoon the co-worker chastied me and told me "this isn't Kansas, you just don't walk up to strangers that are acting crazy and offer to help them." For a moment I was embarrased and felt a little less than urbane. (I'm not from Kansas... I'm from Illinios... we have corn there... lot's of corn). I'd briefly spoken with the concierge about the incident when I came back from lunch that day and basically forgot about it.

The next day when I was coming into the office the concierge stopped me with an excited expression and told me that he had heard that a young girl that works on one of the other floors had been beaten outside the building yesterday and was in the hospital... apparently by her boyfriend.

I don't know anymore... when do you step back... when do you say something... when do you try and when do you walk away and let karma or the other guy take care of things?

I'm not trying to answer the; "confront a jerk" question... but why does it always have to be the next guy who does the right thing? I felt like $hit for not trying to do more for that girl... and just a little put-off by the cold attitude of my more urbane co-worker. Does that make me naive or some kind of fool? Had I seen her boyfriend attack her would I have tried to stop him.... probably. Would I have ended up dead... I don't know. I don't think we always know how we are going to respond in these situations and I don't know why we chose to respond the way we do. I think I'm ok with me... it's just the way I was raised, maybe my father would have understood... out there in those corn fields.

[m21sniper]

If it's a girl that needs help i almost always get involved. Or a kid.

[Moses]

Originally Posted by m21sniper

If it's a girl that needs help i almost always get involved. Or a kid.

Absolutely.

[David]

I usually confront them, but I'm not known to be too bright.

The one I enjoyed most:

A uniformed old guy on a harley chased me down on the freeway and motioned for me to slow down (I was probably doing 80 or so.) This guy had no helmet or other safety equipment and I had full gear on.

A few weeks later I see the same guy on the harley at a store. I ask if he's some kind of officer. He said he's a fed marshall or something. Now that I'm sure it's the same guy, I read him the riot act about speeding with no helmet and then telling me to slow down. He stood there dumbfounded and didn't say a word.

[Christien]

Originally Posted by VINMAN

One of the things I enjoyed about being Fire Chief was the ability to write fire lane and hydrant tickets. Nothing pissed me off more ( and still does) is lazy azz people who cant park in a regular spot to go into a store. Instead they have pull right up to the front door. I could go out on a Sat or Sun morning, pull in front of one of the supermarkets or bagel stores and write a bunch of tickets. Another good spot was one of the dry cleaners. But before someone calls me a prick, I ALWAYS hit my siren and air horns to let them know ahead of time. I always gave them a chance to move their vehicles. I'd do that a few times before they got written up. Now i'm not talking about someone sitting in there car. I'm talking about parking it and getting out.
Of course there was always the defiant ones who would tell me I cant ticket them, or tell me they would be out in a few minutes, so I would just say " OK, no problem. I should be done writing the ticket by time you come out of the store"

Other times , if we had a fire call at a store and a vehicle was parked in the fire lane in front of the store, I would purposely have my trucks block the vehicle in so they cant get. Oh well too bad, you shouldnt have been there.

Can you PLEASE call the local fire depts. around here and tell them they should do this? It absolutely drives me nuts - at the local power centre, it's actually rare to see the lane in front of the grocery store, electronics store, dept. store, etc. free of cars. People ALWAYS park there, even if there are tons of free spaces. It absolutely drives me nuts - not because of laziness (well, that too), but because of the sheer arrogance. It just screams to me "I'm more important, I don't have to find a parking spot".

[T77911S]

handicap parking is my thing.

i saw this lady get out of her MB in her 4 inch heels and stoll into the store. i had to say something. didnt do any good. she had one of those mirror tags.

i saw a beat up pickup truck parked in a HC spot. it had construction tools and ladders, of course the tag on the mirror.

my thought is they should get rid of the mirror tags and issue plates only. if you have a HC person with you, drop them off at the door then park in a regular spot.

i saw this van with a HC tag pull in and park in the HC spot, even though there were empty regular spots closer to the door. i guess it is just the mentality. if it was me, i would take the regular spot and save the HC spot for someone else when the prking lot gets full. now any other HC peopl have to park somewhere else. and what makes it worse is the person works there and they will be there all day!