A Primer on the Blues

[Looking_for_911]

A Primer on How to Sing the Blues:

1. Most Blues begin, "Woke up this morning."

2. "I got a good woman" is a bad way to begin the Blues, 'less you stick something nasty in the next line, like " I got a good woman, with the meanest face in town."

3. The Blues is simple. After you get the first line right, repeat it. Then find something that rhymes ... sort of: "Got a good woman - with the meanest face in town. Got teeth like Margaret Thatcher - and she weigh 500 pound."

4. The Blues are not about choice. You stuck in a ditch, you stuck in a ditch; ain't no way out.

5. Blues cars: Chevys and Cadillacs and broken-down trucks. Blues don't travel in Volvos, Porsches, BMWs, or Sport Utility Vehicles. Most Blues transportation is a Greyhound bus or a southbound train. Jet aircraft an' state-sponsored motor pools ain't even in the running. Walkin' plays a major part in the blues lifestyle. So does fixin' to die.

6. Teenagers can't sing the Blues. They ain't fixin' to die yet. Adults sing the Blues. In Blues, "adulthood" means being old enough to get the electric chair if you shoot a man in Memphis.

7. Blues can take place in New York City but not in Hawaii or any place in Canada. Hard times in St. Paul or Tucson is just depression. Chicago, St. Louis, and Kansas City are still the best places to have the Blues. You cannot have the blues in any place that don't get rain.

8. A man with male pattern baldness ain't the blues. A woman with male pattern baldness is. Breaking your leg cuz you skiing is not the blues. Breaking your leg cuz an alligator be chomping on it is.

9. You can't have no Blues in an office or a shopping mall. The lighting is wrong. Go outside to the parking lot or sit by the dumpster.

10. Good places for the Blues:

a. highway
b. jailhouse
c. empty bed
d. bottom of a whiskey glass

Bad places:

a. Ashrams
b. gallery openings
c. Ivy League institutions
d. golf courses

11. No one will believe it's the Blues if you wear a suit, 'less you happen to be an old ethnic person, and you slept in it.

12. Do you have the right to sing the Blues? Yes, if:

a. you're older than dirt
b. you're blind
c. you shot a man in Memphis
d. you can't be satisfied

No, if:

a. you have all your teeth
b. you were once blind but now can see
c. the man in Memphis lived.
d. you have a retirement plan or trust fund.

13. Blues is not a matter of color. It's a matter of bad luck. Tiger Woods cannot sing the blues. [edit. well, maybe he can now] Gary Coleman could. Ugly white people also got a leg up on the blues.

14. If you ask for water and Baby give you gasoline, it's the Blues.

Other acceptable Blues beverages are:

a. wine
b. whiskey or bourbon
c. muddy water
d. black coffee

The following are NOT Blues beverages:

a. mixed drinks
b. kosher wine
c. Snapple
d. sparkling water

15. Death. If it occurs in a cheap motel or a shotgun shack, it's a Blues death. Stabbed in the back by a jealous lover is another Blues way to die. So is the electric chair, substance abuse, and dying lonely on a broken down cot. You can't have a Blues death if you die during a tennis match or getting liposuction.

16. Some Blues names for women:

a. Sadie
b. Big Mama
c. Bessie
d. Fat River Dumpling

17. Some Blues names for men:

a. Joe
b. Willie
c. Little Willie
d. Big Willie

18. Persons with names like Sierra, Sequoia, Auburn, and Rainbow can't sing the Blues no matter how many men they shoot in Memphis.

19. Make your own Blues name (starter kit):

a. name of physical infirmity (Blind, Cripple, Lame, etc.)
b. first name (see above) plus name of fruit (Lemon, Lime, Kiwi,etc.)
c. last name of President (Jefferson, Johnson, Fillmore, etc.)

For example, Blind Lime Jefferson, or Cripple Kiwi Fillmore, etc.

(Well, maybe not "Kiwi.")

20. I don't care how tragic your life: you own a computer, you cannot sing the blues. You best destroy it. Fire, a spilled bottle of Mad Dog, or get out a shotgun. I don't care. [Another edit: and get rid of the Porsches!]



--------------------

[Moses]

Originally Posted by Looking_for_911

6. Teenagers can't sing the Blues.

Unless your name is Jonny Lang. Then you can be a skinny white kid from North Dakota who was rockin' the blues like a master at 16.

[tmarx]

Hi, I'm Gout Persimmon Obama. Wait, that doesn't work . . . .

[Dueller]

Blues name calculator:

Music Humor - Blues Name Calculator

I'm "Boney Harp Bradley."

[RWebb]

excellent!

I'd also like to see a crosstabs analysis on Blues vs. C&W song lyrics/story lines...


BTW for #17
17. Some Blues names for men:
add:
"e. Blind Melon Chitlin"

[tabs]

I bin hittin the ball since I as 3
Everybody wants a piece O me
I ain't got no pussy till I was 33
I bin hittin the ball since I was 3
Now everybody is after me
Cause I bin hittin every pussy since I bin 33
I bin hittin the ball since I was three
Now nobody wants me
cause all the pussy was after me
An I done hit a tree..

Who says ya can't be rich and be on a golf course and sing the blues

[Nostril Cheese]

White people should not play the blues. Ever.

Except perhaps Eric Clapton.

[Dueller]

I moved to the Mississippi Delta sight unseen for a promotion 25 years ago today. Lived there until '98. While there I had the opportunity to go to a number of juke joints and hear some authentic blues sung by 70/80 year old local bluesmen. And I'm talking real blues joints like the Pink Pony Cafe in Darling, Riverside in Shaw, R.B's Place in Sumner,and Monkey's Place in Merigold. Even went to BB Kings birthday party in Indianola. Truly a wonderful experience.

[imcarthur]

The best live blues I have heard was on Halsted in Chicago in a tiny club at 3 AM. The band was packing up & an old man walked over & plugged in his guitar . . .

I envy your Delta experience, Jim.

Ian

[pwd72s]

Originally Posted by tabs

I bin hittin the ball since I as 3
Everybody wants a piece O me
I ain't got no pussy till I was 33
I bin hittin the ball since I was 3
Now everybody is after me
Cause I bin hittin every pussy since I bin 33
I bin hittin the ball since I was three
Now nobody wants me
cause all the pussy was after me
An I done hit a tree..

Who says ya can't be rich and be on a golf course and sing the blues

Good one!

[TimT]

White people should not play the blues. Ever.

Tell that to SRV... the Allmans.... or gasp The Dead

[Gogar]

Originally Posted by imcarthur

The best live blues I have heard was on Halsted in Chicago in a tiny club at 3 AM. The band was packing up & an old man walked over & plugged in his guitar . . .

I envy your Delta experience, Jim.

Ian

+1 you haven't heard all the blues until you've been to B.L.U.E.S. etc. on Halsted or Kingston mines or the like.

Blues is a great example of how emotion wins over music; even when . . .. playing music.

[herr_oberst]

Originally Posted by Nostril Cheese

White people should not play the blues. Ever.

Except perhaps Eric Clapton.

Stevie Ray Vaughan. (worldwide, deceased)

Paul DeLay (local, deceased)

Two white guys who very definitely could play the blues.

Great thread. Best in a long time, and I have the blues cuz I didn't start it.

[craigster59]

Thankfully, TimT chimed in with SRV and if you don't think white men can sing the blues, you're very mistaken. Dr. John, Johnny Winter, Paul Butterfield, Peter Green, Lanny Ray, Eric Clapton, etc.

You ever heard Gregg Allman, Bobby Whitlock, Jerry Lee Lewis even Harry Connick sing the blues? It ain't bad, it's no Hooker, Rev Davis, Mamma Thornton, Waters, Wolf, Jefferson, Sticks McGhee, Elmore and damn sure isn't Mr. Johnson but they got it in their soul.

Believe me, if you've been hurt bad, left alone, drank too hard, or were just wondering where the next dime was going to come from, you can sing the blues.

[johnco]

[craigster59]

And I forgot Roy Buchanun, Rory Gallagher, David Gilmour, and I'm sure many more.

[Dueller]

craigster...I see the Robert Johnson avatar? Ever been to the crossroads or toured the Miss Delta? My old law firm represented some of his heirs.

[Tobra]

I like Jerry Lee Louis. My brother had a couple of his records that we flat wore out. One was when he was pretty old, sang a version of "Over the Rainbow" that is outstanding, or I like it anyway.


I remember an old white guy showed up and sat in with the band at a party I went to in SE Texas, somebody's uncle. Had a very old, very beat to sheeit telecaster. Did a few songs, made that old tele wail. Stevie Ray, Jeff Beck, Alvin Lee, I can think of a lot of white guys not named Clapton that you would have actually heard of that can play the blues Could not tell you what the name of the old guy from that party was.

[Dueller]

Esoteric legal tidbits on Robert Johnson:

In the Matter of the ESTATE OF Robert L. JOHNSON, Deceased.
Claud L. JOHNSON v. Robert M. HARRIS and Annye C. Anderson.

No. 92-CA-00883-SCT.

Supreme Court of Mississippi.

March 28, 1996.

Rehearing Denied Aug. 21, 1997.

Order Dissenting from Denial of Rehearing Aug. 21, 1997.

James Warren Kitchens, Nancy A. Olson, Jackson, for appellants.

Stephen E. Nevas, Westport, CT, for appellees.

Before DAN LEE, C.J., and BANKS and MILLS, JJ.

MILLS, Justice, for the Court:

¶ 1. This appeal questions the entry by the Chancellor below of an order dismissing the claim of Claud L. Johnson as the illegitimate


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son and only direct heir of Robert L. Johnson, deceased.

¶ 2. Julia Major and Charles Dodds were married on February 2, 1889. While still married to Charles, but separated from him, Julia gave birth to Robert L. Johnson in Hazlehurst, Mississippi, on May 11, 1911. The father of Robert L. Johnson was one Noah Johnson.

¶ 3. Julia birthed eleven children by Charles (who later assumed the surname of Spencer) before her death in 1949. One of these children was Carrie H. Thompson, half-sister to Robert L. Johnson.

¶ 4. After Julia's death, Charles Dodds cum Spencer married Mollie Jackson. This marriage produced Annye Anderson, half-sister to Carrie H. Thompson. Annye is unrelated to Robert.

¶ 5. Robert L. Johnson became an accomplished musician, singer and songwriter during his short life. He specialized in that art form now known as "the blues." In between performances as an itinerant bluesman, Robert occasionally interrupted his ramblings to enjoy marital bliss. Robert first married Virginia Travis on February 17, 1929, in Penton, Mississippi. Virginia died in childbirth on April 10, 1930. The child was stillborn.

¶ 6. Robert married Colleta Craft on May 4, 1931, in Hazlehurst, Mississippi. Colleta died without issue in 1933 or 1934.

¶ 7. The appellant in this case, Claud L. Johnson, was born out of wedlock to Virgie Jane Smith on December 16, 1931, in Lincoln County, Mississippi. His birth certificate names R.L. Johnson as his father. Johnson's occupation is listed as a laborer.

¶ 8. Robert L. Johnson died "outside" of Greenwood, Mississippi, on August 16, 1938, at the age of 27. He recorded 29 songs during his short life. His recordings have greatly influenced modern popular music.

¶ 9. Carrie H. Thompson, one of Robert L. Johnson's half-siblings, lived in Maryland. She entered into an agreement with Stephen C. LaVere of Memphis, Tennessee, on November 20, 1974, whereby she assigned all of her purported rights to copyrights of Johnson's works, photographs of Johnson and any other materials concerning Johnson she might have to LaVere. In return, LaVere was to pay her fifty percent of all royalties collected by him as a result of his efforts to capitalize on Johnson's musical and artistic legacy.

¶ 10. On July 17, 1981, Annye C. Anderson, of Barrington, Illinois, wrote Carrie H. Thompson, her half-sister, and furnished her a power-of-attorney, prepared by one Mr. Kasilovsky, her attorney, granting Ms. Anderson irrevocable power to act for her in all of her affairs. This power of attorney was executed on July 22, 1981. Ms. Anderson stated that she obtained the power of attorney because "Uh, I was dealing with the Robert Johnson Estate with my sister. And my sister was ill. And she wanted me to handle her affairs."

¶ 11. The record next contains correspondence from Krasilovsky to Ms. Anderson concerning the estate of Robert L. Johnson, dated August 27, 1982. This letter advised Ms. Anderson to select "... a formal attorney in Mississippi or place of death for opening the estate for official probate purposes." According to the attorney, "This step is necessary to establish basic title in your sister as administratrix."

¶ 12. Carrie H. Thompson died testate in Maryland on February 20, 1983.

¶ 13. The testatrix appointed Annye C. Anderson as her "personal representative" and devised all of her property, including "... all rights and claims I may have as a result of an agreement dated November 20, 1974 ..." to Ms. Anderson and to the testatrix's grandson, Robert M. Harris. A copy of the agreement with LaVere was attached to Thompson's will. The will is accompanied by codicils which appear to conflict with the original intent of the testatrix. (These inconsistencies are matters for the Maryland probate court to interpret.) Within 30 days of the death of Thompson, Annye C. Anderson filed the will and codicils for probate in Maryland.

¶ 14. On June 1, 1989, Annye C. Anderson filed her initial petition to open the estate of Robert L. Johnson in the Chancery Court of Leflore County, Mississippi. She was appointed


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administratrix on June 1, 1989. The notice to creditors was not issued until May 6, 1991.

¶ 15. In the interim, Columbia Records released Robert L. Johnson---The Complete Recordings in 1990. These recordings have enjoyed extensive popularity. The inventories and accountings filed by Anderson in 1990 and 1991 state that the estate contained no property or money and that the only assets were "... miscellaneous and unknown."

¶ 16. Due to objections filed by other parties below, the Chancellor removed Anderson as administratrix and appointed Willis B. Brumfield, Chancery Clerk of Leflore County, as successor administrator on May 28, 1991. On August 29, 1991, the Estate of Robert L. Johnson entered into a contract with Stephen LaVere authorizing him to act as agent for the estate.

¶ 17. Claud L. Johnson, through counsel, filed his formal entry of appearance in the estate on February 19, 1992. He timely responded to a petition to determine heirship filed against him by Brumfield on March 10, 1992.

¶ 18. Finally, on March 23, 1992, the statutorily-required summons to unknown heirs was first published.

¶ 19. In his answer to the petition for determination of heirship, Claud alleged that he was the illegitimate son of Robert L. Johnson, deceased, and that he is the sole heir of the deceased. He also alleged that "... the original administratrix's failure to exercise reasonable diligence to locate him and give him such notice deprived him of due process at law ..." under the constitutions of the United States of America and the State of Mississippi.

¶ 20. Claud found a stone in his passway when Ms. Anderson filed a Motion to Strike the Affirmative Allegations and Dismiss the Claim of Defendant Claud Johnson. Ms. Anderson hung her hat on Sections 91-1-15 and 91-1-27 to -29 of the Mississippi Code of 1972, arguing that Claud's claim was barred.

¶ 21. The Chancellor, on June 22, 1992, entered an order dismissing Claud's claim as being time-barred under Section 91-1-15(d)(ii) of the Mississippi Code of 1972.

[masraum]

I love the blues. I love to listen to SRV, but I have to wonder, is SRV a great blues singer, or a great blues player?

The songs wouldn't be complete without him singing, but for me the guitar takes center stage with SRV. The vocals are just accompaniment.

Some bluesmen stand out apart from the music. The emotion is in their voices/singing.

Just thinking out loud. I'd never really thought about it until this thread.